The Screamers

[Kisa]

Tonight, I had a lot of trouble hearing the customers at the speaker. Why you ask? there was a group of teenage girls screaming through the parking lot. Its fishfly season over here, so harmless little bugs are thick as locusts in the air, on the streets and on the buildings. The parking lot lights were on, so it attracted loads of mayflies. The girls decided to run through the parking lot in circles, screaming bloody murder and swatting at the air.
Really? If you're so scared of them, come inside where the air is bug free! Don't run around in oblongs like a bunch of mental patients!
This continued for about 20 minutes (seriously 20 minutes) while 2 guys they were with stood in front of the double doors shouting, "RUN! RUUUNNNNN!!!! Huh huh huh!" at them. They finally decided to open both the doors and scream for the girls to run this way.

Girl: I can't see! I can't see!!!
Guy: Follow my voice!
Girl: I can't HEAR!

The girls and guys went back and forth while mayflies found their way inside. Finally, the cashier scramed, "CLOSE THAT DAMN DOOR! YOU'RE LETTING THE BUGS IN!!!" and they let the doors close. Eventually, the girls found their way inside screaming, "GET THEM OFF ME! THEY ARE GONNA GET ME! GET THEM OOOFFFFFFF!!!!" and flailing all over.
The sound was deafening.
I promise they won't eat you, simply because they can't eat. They don't have mouthes.

Is it free?

Me: Would you like a drink with that today?
SC: Is it free?
Me: No.
SC: Then why did you ask!

It's a standard question I'm required to ask.

Impatience

Me: *opening spiel*
SC: Supreme pizza.
Me: Supreme pizza? Let me go check on that.
SC: No. Just give it to me.
Me: *ignores* Ok, we have that ready. Would y...
SC: *drives away*

I didn't get a chance to ask if that was it, if the order was correct or tell her her total. I can tell you are in a hurry, but what will take less time, waiting 30 seconds to make sure your order is squared away or taking a few minutes to fix the order later?

Why do you make sure you have something before you sell it?

SC: I want a cheese pizza.
Me: Let me go check on that....... We have that ready!
SC: Why did you leave!
Me: To make sure the cheese pizza is ready.
SC: Why? Aren't they always ready?
Me: No. We cook a certain amount of pizzas and keep them for 30 minutes in a heated cabinet.
SC: That's stupid! You should always have them ready no matter what!
Me: We try to, but we can't predict when they will sell.
SC: *huffy mumbling*

Sorry. Next time, I'll just assume it's ready and when you get mad because you have to wait 7 minutes, I'll remind you who inspired me not to check

I'm lost...

SC: I want a burrito supreme and a soft taco supreme.
Me: Did you say a burrito supreme and a soft taco sepreme?
SC: *sounds like yes*
Me: Is your order correct on your screen?
SC: *sounds like yes*
Me: $x.xx second window please!
SC: mam....mam......
Me: Yes?
SC: *not a clue*
Me: What?
SC: *still don't know*
Me: I can't hear you at all...
SC: *drives up*
CW: What were you saying?
SC: I want a BEAN burrito!
CW: A bean burrito instead of a burrito supreme?
SC: No!
CW: Do you want a bean burrito AND a burrito supreme?
SC: NO!!
CW: Do you want a bean burrito added to your order?
SC: NOOO!!!!
CW: I'm sorry, but I don't know what you want.
SC: Nevermind!! Just gimme what you got!
CW: Ok then...

Mocking Bird

Me: Hi how are you?
SC: *talks in a high, squeaky voice I can't understand*
CW: I think she's mocking you...
Me: I know she is. She can f*ck off.
CW:
Me: Go ahead...
SC: *says something*
Me: Talk normally or I will not help you.
SC: *suddenly talks normal*

Come BAAACCKKKK!!!

When a customer is abnormally quiet or hard to hear, we shut off out headset so we can hear the customer, but they can't hear us. It cuts out background noise and makes it a teeny bit easier to hear them. This guy was very hard to hear.

Me: Go ahead when you're ready *off*
SC: I'll...hello? Hello?
Me: I'm here. *off*
SC: Oh ok. I want a...hello?! HELLO!!!!??!!!!
Me: I'm still here. *off*
SC: Oh...I wa.....HELLO?!!!111!!!! Come back here!!!
Me: I'm still here, sir. I never went anywhere.
SC: I couldn't here you!!
Me: Just because you can't hear me, doesn't mean I can't hear you.
SC: Oh.....*grumbles*

I cannot hear her talking, so she MUST have walked away from me!
Mocking Bird II

Girl: I want
Guy: I want
Girl: a 5 layer
Guy: a 5 layer

Note: He was saying this 2 seconds after her.

Me: I can only hear one of you. Please talk one at a time.

Did he listen? Of course not! But he was entertained momentarily....

[dragon_wings]

Boy, you get all the winners. /sarcasm

[mikoyan29]

While the Pizza Hut Express is nice, sometimes its nicer to wait for a pizza.

And mocking your voice...Sheesh.

Supreme Pizza....nah...not that supreme....

[thansal]

I, of course, am thinking of Denis Leary's bit on ordering at the drive thru w/ an electric voice box.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Re: Fishflies.

It's like when the cicadas come out around here. People start FREAKING OUT about them. Nevermind that the poor guys are harmless and won't bite you.

Mind you, I'm saying this as a guy who, as a kid, was terrified of cicadas. Now, not so much.

[Mikkel]

I wouldn't care much about a few on my collar or almost anywhere else. They look cute.
If they swarm in thousands I would be afraid of inhaling them or something like that.
I have done that with mosquitoes a few times and they don't taste good when you cough them up.

[MoonCat]

Re: the teenage girls - I can't stand people who run around screaming mindlessly because of a few bugs. Mind you, spiders...ewww...but they don't fly around. If you don't like being outside around a cloud of bugs, here's a clue: GO INSIDE.

The "free drink" question: God forbid you ask if he wants to include something else in his order so that you can, you know, make a little more money - why would a business want to do that, right? And you know if you didn't ask, he would have complained about that, too.

[Laund-o-rama Mama]

Impatience

Me: *opening spiel*
SC: Supreme pizza.
Me: Supreme pizza? Let me go check on that.
SC: No. Just give it to me.
Me: *ignores* Ok, we have that ready. Would y...
SC: *drives away*

Buh-bye! Don't come baaaack!

[PatchO'Black]

As has been noted, some people think it is safe to act like the rear part of Mr. Ed when talking to an employee because they believe the employee is helpless to do anything about it. This feeling of invulnerability goes up when the SC ether is calling (or e-mailing) since they are now nowhere near the employee. It also gets a boost if the SC is in a car, because they firmly believe that not only are they protected by metal and glass on all sides, but they can just drive away. Mind you, they tend to forget that if they make real trouble, they are sporting license plates that can be used to identify them...

[Kisa]

I wouldn't care much about a few on my collar or almost anywhere else. They look cute.
If they swarm in thousands I would be afraid of inhaling them or something like that.
I have done that with mosquitoes a few times and they don't taste good when you cough them up.

Luckily, these guys are bigger than mosquitoes. Too big to inhale, too small to be overly creepy. I use to be kinda freaked out about them until my daddy ate one. My sister and I were freaking out about one on the door. He picked it up, popped in in his mouth, ate it and said, "if they were dangerous in any way, would I have done that"? Since then, I've stopped being scared

[Laund-o-rama Mama]

D...Did they taste good??

[pageantmama]

I googled fishflies because I had no idea what you were talking about. Up came images of the funky flying bugs that have been allll over the place here all of a sudden. I opened the door the other night and since the porch light was on they were swarming it and at least a dozen flew in the house. I woke the kids up chasing them with brooms and smashing them. I didn't know what they were We just had an outbreak of cicadas(with the same thing, young girls at the gas station or in parking lots screaming and running in terror because the cicadas were divebombing them) a couple of months ago and now these. I seriously don't think I have ever seen these here before at all though.

[Kisa]

I googled fishflies because I had no idea what you were talking about....... I seriously don't think I have ever seen these here before at all though.

They come out of the water. Apparently, the more there are, the healthier the lake is. Did they look like this? The yellow are males, the brown are females

[lineswine]

Nice try, but as for "fishflies", all I came up with was this:- http://fishflieskenya.tripod.com/
hee hee!

[Ironclad Alibi]

Forget fishflies. We are plagued with the brown marmorated stink bug. They don't bite, but my wife does not like them. I just pick them and toss them outside. Apparently they don't stink unless they are mishandled or crushed.

And then we get boxelder bugs during part of the year. Again, I just pick them up and toss them outside.