Pathetic attempts at pick ups

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My favorite pick up attempt, ever.

I remember a lot of silliness with guys and their pickup lines. And I remember the ones that were honest and direct, and genuinely made me feel good about myself. The ones that make me smile are the ones who just say what they mean and don't try to be clever.

My dad was a real ladies man. He said exactly the same thing. Be direct about what you want and make her feel good when you ask.

[Gurndigarn]

"Hey, baby, want to see my Rod of Lordly Might? Press the right button, and it expands!"

OK, so the character had a charisma of 4. Whatcha want?

[/D&D geek]

[Lace Neil Singer]

I love wives or girlfriends who think its The Other Woman every time a member of the opposite sex calls their house. It must suck to be terrified of half the population of Earth. If these women are that paranoid, they need either a good shrink or a trustworthy man. Not sure which. Maybe both.

The main problem is, that a lot of these women usually have very ugly other halves so it's an insult when they accuse you, either by body language or directly, of having an affair with/fancying their man. I used to get that a lot as a singleton, before I met my boyf. I'd enter a party and a woman clinging to the arm of a fat, sweaty, balding man with bad BO would give me a dirty look as if I'd just kicked her puppy, and then squirm even closer to her boyf. I used to want to shout, "Look, I might be single but I'm not flipping desperate!"

I also once had the wife of this very ugly man accuse me of wanting to sleep with her husband. I just laughed in her face. Yeah, right; being single does not automatically mean you find every single man bedworthy. It must be hell being these women.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I know. Listen, I understand that even physically unattractive men can be charismatic, funny, loving, exciting, whatever. A good catch, in other words. A fun date. Whatever. I am not hung up on looks.

However, having said that, I do notice I've never been given the stink eye in this situation by a woman who was dating an Adonis. No, the most paranoid women are on the arm of the men you wouldn't normally scope out on sight and go after.

Just sayin'.

[Spiffy McMoron]

This thread reminds me of a story my buddy told me.

He and his girlfriend worked at the same store. He in furniture; she in the copy center.

He was helping a customer on day who was an older gentleman. This older gentleman was talking shop with my buddy, when my buddy started to mention the cute girl that was working in the copy center. The older gentleman continued, wondering what she looked like in a bikini, etc. The old man then asked my buddy if he agreed. My buddy looked him in the eye, and said, "I don't wonder. She's my girlfriend."

the old guy left soon after.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I do notice I've never been given the stink eye in this situation by a woman who was dating an Adonis. No, the most paranoid women are on the arm of the men you wouldn't normally scope out on sight and go after.

I agree; I'm not hung up on looks either, however you're damn right. It's always the girlfs of the less attractive who act that way.

[ArenaBoy]

Men can be a tad like that also, I remember posting about a guy who did not like the fact that I was friends with his gf. Working at the arena, I get women who will wave or smile at me, I do likewise. One guy gave me a look that would've killed a bug.

As for pathetic attempts at pick-ups, my coworkers provide plenty of entertainment. They are the most clueless, socially awkward folks I have ever worked with. On the customer aspect, we have a few girls who are cute and get hit on constantly. It is funny to watch those losers get shot down.

[myswtghst]

Ah, when I worked at the hospital as a valet/shuttle driver, I made a killing being the only young, friendly girl there. I had a million and one old men in love with me, who would wait for me to come back to have their car pulled instead of letting one of my coworkers go. I didn't really mind though, as we made most of our money in tips. Don't think my coworkers (a bunch of men and one woman in her early 30's who always looked as if she hated the world) appreciated it so much, though.

And I'm going to have to agree with the guys and gals above talking about being straightforward. That always gets you farther with me, as I'm smarter than people tend to think I am, given my looks, and I don't buy into BS. Unless it's meant as a joke, I'm going to think you're a cheeseball and write you off without talking to you. Another thing that bugs me? Guys who'll buy me a drink at the bar and expect more than a smile and a thank you. If you don't expect more than that, I'll probably buy you a beer next round. If you get grouchy when I say thank you and walk back to my group/table, I'll tell you to pi$$ off.

[skeptic53]

I do tend to get lots of compliments on my voice

In grad school I called one of my female classmates who was part of the note-taking co-op. I identified myself and asked for her, she blurted out "Skeptic53!! What are you doing with that sexy voice??!!"

Ouch, there goes the old ego...

[Crazyredhead]

I haven't been hit on in probably a decade. If some guy were to hit on me, I probably wouldn't know what to say or do. I can blush very easily.

Damn, now I am depressed. Thank you.

[Writer Cath]

I haven't been hit on in probably a decade. Damn, now I am depressed. Thank you.

How you doin'?

My worst pickup still has to be the drive-through guy.

It was raining and I was on hand-out duty. This old guy pulls up and I made some crack about missing my shower that morning. Guy doesn't even look me in the eye, grabs his stuff and goes "I wouldn't mind taking a shower with you" and peels off.

Say what you will about sleazy people who come into your store, at least they'v got the guts to look you in the eye and not drive away.

[AFpheonix]

I've also had cell dealers in FL ask for my cell number and even ask me to move down there, where they'll "set me up for life." All this and you've never even seen me? I'm a little frightened dude.

Well, you know what they say, everyone looks good in the dark


I don't get hit on per se at work, although I get lots of little old men compliments. Ah well, they're harmless.

[Blueberry]

Had another the other day.
A older man and his friend wandered by me and I said 'Good afternoon!'
Looking startled, he said 'Do you work here?'
'...Yes.'
'Oh...I didn't know they had pretty girls working here!'
I have not decided if that was a good thing or not.

[Jester]

In grad school I called one of my female classmates who was part of the note-taking co-op. I identified myself and asked for her, she blurted out "Skeptic53!! What are you doing with that sexy voice??!!"

Ouch, there goes the old ego...

Yep, I often surprised people who knew me but really didn't listen with my voice.

I worked for a hotel some years ago, and on the weekends I would DJ weddings. One day, I DJ'd a wedding AT my hotel. One of my coworkers told me after the fact that he was thinking to himself, "Hey, that DJ has a pretty kickin' voice." Then he looked up and saw me.....and was stunned. I thought it was hilarious.

Another time, during my short tenure at the call center, I was talking to one of my supervisors one day, telling her that for some reason, women kept hitting on me on the phone. (They did.) She said she didn't know why. Right then, my headset beeped in, and I slipped into my phone voice doing the usual greeting, and my supervisor freaked! "That is why they try to pick you up, Jester!" she blurted while I was trying to keep a straight face on the call I was with.

What can I say? My voice rocks. Of course, I have often said that my voice isn't mine, but actually belongs to a tall, tanned, musclebound lifeguard somewhere in California.....and whose friends keep wondering why the dude has a voice that would be better on a goofy skinny short dude.

[Drakstern]

As a guy who's very good at becoming friends with(but not so good at getting dates with) women, I can say I've *never* used a pickup line unless it was A.) a joke and B.) purposefully bad.

That said, I get hit on on occasion by customers at my current job. I have a severe case of deep voice, and the phones filter out all the nasal, leaving pure deep resonance. It also makes me sound 40, but oh well...

Anyhow, most of the truely stellarly bad lines I've heard are eclipsed by this thread, but I did hear one truely funny one, said to a coworker...

"Hey babe, I work in a body shop. Wanna bring yours by for a check sometime?"

She wasn't, shall we say, subtle in her laughing at him.