Tweet
A few stories from tonight. Enjoy the suck! As well as the hilarity!
Car Accidents are Ruining my Visit
Mr. Dave was running out to move his car because some douche bag almost hit it as he sped around the corner. He decided to move it elswehere before someone really DOES hit it. As soon as he closes the door, someone smashes into the bed of his truck. Mr Dave gets paper ans pens and is outside getting the guys information and talking with him when this lady comes to the speaker.
Me: Hi how are you?
SC: There's an accident in the parking lot. Right. Next. To. Me.
Me: Yes, I know.
SC: You know but you didn't do anythiinngg abouuttt ittttt???!!!!
Me: ......
SC: You should doooo sommethiiinnggg! It's yooouuurrrrr paarrkiinnggg loootttt!!!
Me: Mam, the cars will move as soon as they exchange information and talk things out. What happens in the parking lot I have little authority over.
SC: But they are ruuuiinniiinngggg my viissiiitttt!!!!
Me: I will get your order to you as quickly as possible then.
She sulked.
A Little Boogie
Manager Kay came in and grabbed a headset, put it on, grabbed a paper towel and wiped her nose.
Kay: Ugh...I got a boogie in my nose....
At this point, the entire store broke out in laughter. Not because of what she said, but because she accidentally turned her headset on and all the employees and the customers at the speaker heard her!
CW: Way to start the day right Kay!
Kay: Oh shuddup (-//-)
The customers come to the window, lean over real serious like...
Un-sucky Customer: Did you get it??
CW: Oh, no. That wasn't me.
That was Kay.
Kay: Don't be tellin' them my name!!! (>//<)
What is this "minus" you speak of?
SC: I want a steak burrito supreme with only steak, tomato, and sour cream with extra steak.
Me: Ok.
I punch in:
Steak burrito supreme
-bean
-red sauce
-onion
-lettuce
-cheese
+steak
SC: NO! I said I don't want beans!
Me: I know, sir.
SC: I don't want red sauce either.
Me: Yes, I
SC: Or onion!
Me: Sir
SC: Or lettuce or cheese!
Me: I kn
SC: And where's the sour cream?!!
Me: I
SC: What about the tomato?!!!
Me: SIR!
SC: Were you even listening?!!
Me: Yes. Sir, you asked for a steak burrito supreme with only sour cream, tomato and extra steak and that's exactly what I have rung up.
SC: Oh, really?! Then why do I see all these ingrediants on the screen?!
Me: Because I subtracted them?
SC: I don't think so....
Me: The minus sign in front means I'm subtracting that ingrediant.
SC: Oh....I see......
"-" means minus. "+" means plus. Minus is subtracting. Plus is adding. Didn't we all learn that in, like, 2nd grade????
Speedy Gonzales
Me: Hi, how ar
SG: Hi Iwant2softtacosnolettuceanumber5minusbeanswithapep siacinnamontwistand3beefmeltburritos. Nothingelsethanksbye!
Me: Sir, I...he left...
I am nowhere close to kidding when I say he talked that fast. I was somehow able to decipher his speed babble and rung up his order.
He came to the window, paid, and was just about to get his food when he said:
SC: Arethosepotatotacos?
CW: ...No. They are soft tacos with no lettuce.
SC: OhwellIwantpotatotacosnolettuce.
CW: Oh...Ok...
SC: How did you not get that right?! Beef and potato sound NOTHING alike.
Hmm...I don't know. Maybe it has something to do with you trying to order at the speed of light!!! Oh, yeah. And then when I tried to verify the order,you cut me off and zoomed away! Do you think that has anything to do with it?!! Hmm?!!
The Effing Effers
CW: Hi
SC: Shut the f*ck up you stupid mother f*cker! F*ck you!
SC2: How about you f*cking order you f*cking slut?!
SC: Who are you calling a f*cking slut you f*cking loose mother f*cker?!!
CW: CAN I HELP YOU?!!!!
SC: I can't deal with you!
SC2: F*ck you f*cker!
And they leave....
Manager: PLEASE, tell me they left.
CW: Yupp...they left.
Manager: Thank the Lord!
Was that REALLY necessary?
Nice Wife: Can I have *insert order* and an XXL steak burrito?
Sucky Hubby: With NO F*CKING BEANS!!!
NW: Oh...with no beans.
SH: NO BEANS! AT ALLLLLLL!!!
Me: Ok. I got it. No beans.
SH: NOOOOOOO!! BEEEAAANNNSSSSS!!!!
Me: Yup. That's what I rung up. You can stop yelling now.
NW: Sorry....
Me: You're ok.
They get to the window:
CW: Hi, your total is *total*.
SH: I f*cking hate my wife!
CW: .....ummm......
SH: She's so f*cking stupid!
CW: *raises eyebrow at flustered wife*
NW: Heehee.....*sigh*
Either you should be locked up and not allowed to mingle with the women of the world, or you are a sick sick person who thinks domesic violence is funny. I hope it's the second one.... Either way, you suck as a customer, husband and as a member of the human race. You are a pig....
The Effing Effers Part II
They came back....
SC: Are you gonna shut your f*cking mouth now you f*cking bitch?!
SC2: Shut the f*ck up and order!
Me: Hi...can I help you?
SC: Oh haha! Sorryyyyyy!
(suddenly sweet as pie)
Speedy Jr.
A couple teens come thru:
SJ: HiIgot2orderskthanks! (I have two orders. Thanks.)
Me: Wait, what?
SJ: Isaid
Me: *brain catches up* Two orders?
SJ: Yaizzatok? (Yeah. Is that ok?)
Me: Yeah...I suppose...
SJ: Ok. FirstIwanta#4withabajablasta5layerburritonobeansa# 7withsotftacoandapepsiandnachosandcheese. Forthenextorder
Me: Woahwoahwoah! Wait, I'm still working on the first order!
SJ: K.
Me: *catches up* Ok. go ahead with the second.
SJ: Kthanks. Iwant25layerburritosamediumbajablastachickenburrit oandabeefmeltburrito. That'sitkthanksbye!
Me: Woah! Hold on! *catches up* Is that right?
SJ: Yupthanksbye! *zooms off*
Me: Holy shit...
Honking ALWAYS helps
We had 4 HUGE orders in a row, all of which were more than 15 items, one of which had 30 items. A guy in line (way back in line) was honking and honking. And honking. And honking. Aaannnd honking. Honking some more. And, oh yeah....honking.
Dude...honking like a lunatic isn't going to make us go any faster, nor will it magically levitate the cars ahead of you so you can cut in line. Seriously.... Just knock it off....
We finish one order and I start taking a new order. The guy is apparently right behind her and decides to honk at her now. This is never a good idea because:
1) Now the driver is getting upset and distracted and is ordering slower.
2) The order taker now hates you.
3) The order taker must constantly ask the driver to repeat that because no one can hear anything over your horn.
4) All the other customers now hate you.
I finally finished taking her order and the honker pulls up.
SC: DAAAMMMNN! What took so f*cking looonnggg???!!! Was she ordering the whoolleee stooorrreeeeee????!!!!111!!!
Me: It was hard to hear her order over all that honking.
SC: .....
Me: You can thank whoever that was for the long wait.
SC: .....I don't like waiting.
Me: If you feel like you have been waiting too long, there is another Taco Bell on Blank Street around the corner. They are usually less busy than we are.
SC: .............
Creeepppyyyyy
A guy came thru and kept staring at me...like this...
|
|
|
\ /
\ /
Car Accidents are Ruining my Visit
Mr. Dave was running out to move his car because some douche bag almost hit it as he sped around the corner. He decided to move it elswehere before someone really DOES hit it. As soon as he closes the door, someone smashes into the bed of his truck. Mr Dave gets paper ans pens and is outside getting the guys information and talking with him when this lady comes to the speaker.
Me: Hi how are you?
SC: There's an accident in the parking lot. Right. Next. To. Me.
Me: Yes, I know.
SC: You know but you didn't do anythiinngg abouuttt ittttt???!!!!
Me: ......
SC: You should doooo sommethiiinnggg! It's yooouuurrrrr paarrkiinnggg loootttt!!!
Me: Mam, the cars will move as soon as they exchange information and talk things out. What happens in the parking lot I have little authority over.
SC: But they are ruuuiinniiinngggg my viissiiitttt!!!!
Me: I will get your order to you as quickly as possible then.
She sulked.
A Little Boogie
Manager Kay came in and grabbed a headset, put it on, grabbed a paper towel and wiped her nose.
Kay: Ugh...I got a boogie in my nose....
At this point, the entire store broke out in laughter. Not because of what she said, but because she accidentally turned her headset on and all the employees and the customers at the speaker heard her!
CW: Way to start the day right Kay!
Kay: Oh shuddup (-//-)
The customers come to the window, lean over real serious like...
Un-sucky Customer: Did you get it??
CW: Oh, no. That wasn't me.
That was Kay.Kay: Don't be tellin' them my name!!! (>//<)
What is this "minus" you speak of?
SC: I want a steak burrito supreme with only steak, tomato, and sour cream with extra steak.
Me: Ok.
I punch in:
Steak burrito supreme
-bean
-red sauce
-onion
-lettuce
-cheese
+steak
SC: NO! I said I don't want beans!
Me: I know, sir.
SC: I don't want red sauce either.
Me: Yes, I
SC: Or onion!
Me: Sir
SC: Or lettuce or cheese!
Me: I kn
SC: And where's the sour cream?!!
Me: I
SC: What about the tomato?!!!
Me: SIR!
SC: Were you even listening?!!
Me: Yes. Sir, you asked for a steak burrito supreme with only sour cream, tomato and extra steak and that's exactly what I have rung up.
SC: Oh, really?! Then why do I see all these ingrediants on the screen?!
Me: Because I subtracted them?
SC: I don't think so....
Me: The minus sign in front means I'm subtracting that ingrediant.
SC: Oh....I see......
"-" means minus. "+" means plus. Minus is subtracting. Plus is adding. Didn't we all learn that in, like, 2nd grade????
Speedy Gonzales
Me: Hi, how ar
SG: Hi Iwant2softtacosnolettuceanumber5minusbeanswithapep siacinnamontwistand3beefmeltburritos. Nothingelsethanksbye!
Me: Sir, I...he left...
I am nowhere close to kidding when I say he talked that fast. I was somehow able to decipher his speed babble and rung up his order.
He came to the window, paid, and was just about to get his food when he said:
SC: Arethosepotatotacos?
CW: ...No. They are soft tacos with no lettuce.
SC: OhwellIwantpotatotacosnolettuce.
CW: Oh...Ok...
SC: How did you not get that right?! Beef and potato sound NOTHING alike.
Hmm...I don't know. Maybe it has something to do with you trying to order at the speed of light!!! Oh, yeah. And then when I tried to verify the order,you cut me off and zoomed away! Do you think that has anything to do with it?!! Hmm?!!
The Effing Effers
CW: Hi
SC: Shut the f*ck up you stupid mother f*cker! F*ck you!
SC2: How about you f*cking order you f*cking slut?!
SC: Who are you calling a f*cking slut you f*cking loose mother f*cker?!!
CW: CAN I HELP YOU?!!!!
SC: I can't deal with you!
SC2: F*ck you f*cker!
And they leave....
Manager: PLEASE, tell me they left.
CW: Yupp...they left.
Manager: Thank the Lord!
Was that REALLY necessary?
Nice Wife: Can I have *insert order* and an XXL steak burrito?
Sucky Hubby: With NO F*CKING BEANS!!!
NW: Oh...with no beans.
SH: NO BEANS! AT ALLLLLLL!!!
Me: Ok. I got it. No beans.
SH: NOOOOOOO!! BEEEAAANNNSSSSS!!!!
Me: Yup. That's what I rung up. You can stop yelling now.
NW: Sorry....
Me: You're ok.
They get to the window:
CW: Hi, your total is *total*.
SH: I f*cking hate my wife!
CW: .....ummm......
SH: She's so f*cking stupid!
CW: *raises eyebrow at flustered wife*
NW: Heehee.....*sigh*
Either you should be locked up and not allowed to mingle with the women of the world, or you are a sick sick person who thinks domesic violence is funny. I hope it's the second one.... Either way, you suck as a customer, husband and as a member of the human race. You are a pig....
The Effing Effers Part II
They came back....
SC: Are you gonna shut your f*cking mouth now you f*cking bitch?!
SC2: Shut the f*ck up and order!
Me: Hi...can I help you?
SC: Oh haha! Sorryyyyyy!
(suddenly sweet as pie)Speedy Jr.
A couple teens come thru:
SJ: HiIgot2orderskthanks! (I have two orders. Thanks.)
Me: Wait, what?
SJ: Isaid
Me: *brain catches up* Two orders?
SJ: Yaizzatok? (Yeah. Is that ok?)
Me: Yeah...I suppose...
SJ: Ok. FirstIwanta#4withabajablasta5layerburritonobeansa# 7withsotftacoandapepsiandnachosandcheese. Forthenextorder
Me: Woahwoahwoah! Wait, I'm still working on the first order!
SJ: K.
Me: *catches up* Ok. go ahead with the second.
SJ: Kthanks. Iwant25layerburritosamediumbajablastachickenburrit oandabeefmeltburrito. That'sitkthanksbye!
Me: Woah! Hold on! *catches up* Is that right?
SJ: Yupthanksbye! *zooms off*
Me: Holy shit...
Honking ALWAYS helps
We had 4 HUGE orders in a row, all of which were more than 15 items, one of which had 30 items. A guy in line (way back in line) was honking and honking. And honking. And honking. Aaannnd honking. Honking some more. And, oh yeah....honking.
Dude...honking like a lunatic isn't going to make us go any faster, nor will it magically levitate the cars ahead of you so you can cut in line. Seriously.... Just knock it off....
We finish one order and I start taking a new order. The guy is apparently right behind her and decides to honk at her now. This is never a good idea because:
1) Now the driver is getting upset and distracted and is ordering slower.
2) The order taker now hates you.
3) The order taker must constantly ask the driver to repeat that because no one can hear anything over your horn.
4) All the other customers now hate you.
I finally finished taking her order and the honker pulls up.
SC: DAAAMMMNN! What took so f*cking looonnggg???!!! Was she ordering the whoolleee stooorrreeeeee????!!!!111!!!
Me: It was hard to hear her order over all that honking.
SC: .....
Me: You can thank whoever that was for the long wait.
SC: .....I don't like waiting.
Me: If you feel like you have been waiting too long, there is another Taco Bell on Blank Street around the corner. They are usually less busy than we are.
SC: .............
Creeepppyyyyy
A guy came thru and kept staring at me...like this...
|
|
|
\ /
\ /
Attached Files
Comment