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Well gather around folks. We're in for an awesome time with Sucky Customers - The County Fair Edition!
On today's episode we're going to go through several tales of suck, and EW.
Part one - are you open yet?
3 out of the 4 sides of my booth are still down, early one morning. Now if you walked by a fair booth, and 2 of the 3 sides were closed (including the one by the till), wouldn't you think the booth is closed. Well, not very many people see it that way.
I had one side up so I could get the video games out for sale, and watch them while I kept getting the food ready (or, for a lot of chatters, fuds), and numerous time I had people walk over there and try to order food. Cue multiple cat-butt faces when I tell them, honestly, it will be at least a half hour till the food is ready, and I'll be open for business.
Today took the cake, though. I had ALL 3 sides still closed up. I had just got done unloading supplies, had just gotten back from parking my car, and had JUST barely started cooking fuds. The only thing that was open was the back door (which was partly blocked by trays of buns - more on that suck later). I had a customer come around back and say to me, in a snooty tone "When will you be open, my husband is impatient".
I was totally shocked by the whole thing, and told her (it was 10:20 AM. BTW) "I'm sorry it'll be an hour, or so, till I'm ready". Cue cat-butt face, and a "humppph" as she walked away.
I opened at 11:15 today.
Part 2 - Moochers.
I'm sure that no one is surprised that people are pathetic. I've had so many people coming to my booth, just to take napkins without buying anything. I've, also, had numerous people come up to the booth and ask if we have forks, and, of course, they aren't going to buy anything. I always tell them no, even though we do have forks. We also have people come up to the booth and ask for water, when we tell them it'll be $2 for a bottle of water. The moochers leave at that point, disgusted that we wouldn't give them free water. Besides, you DON'T want to drink the water coming out of our faucet, it tastes terrible.
Also props to the failed genetic experiments for trying to haggle with me on my prices. You see, the number that denotes price on the menu means nothing to them.
It means everything to me.
Part 3 - The crowd.
Kudos to the throng of people at night. I love you all - especially when I'm carrying a bunch of heavy supplies to re-stock the booth, and, instead of seeing me carrying stuff and move out of the way, YOU BLOCK MY FUCKING PATH. Thank you all so much for that, you ass holes! My back loves you.
Part 4 - Coupons/certificates.
Oh, wow, you have a coupon/certificate in your hand. Awesome. One question, though, where on it does it say you can use it at the fair? NOWHERE - YOU CAN'T USE IT HERE! I don't care what kind of cat-butt face you give me, the answer won't change EVER.
Part 5 - Drivers.
I want to thank that lovely person coming out of the merchant lot that I was trying to pull into. See the rows are tight, but you can get 2 cars passing each other if they are off to the sides. I thought it was nice when the person coming out of the lot figured this out and backed up, looking like they were going to move over, and instead go down the fucking center of the row. Thank you ass hole! It was so fun to drive around the block. NOT!
Part 6 - Deliveries.
I alluded to this in part one, briefly. Our booth is shaped like an L. There is the old part where all the cooking and serving happens, and there's a new addition, where storage is. There's doors leading to each section going to the outside where the L comes together.
I'd so like to thank the bun delivery for leaving the buns blocking BOTH DOORS! Wow, you made my job so easy today, by making me squeeze my, kinda, fat ass in between the buns to get supplies to where they needed to go. Thank you soooooo much - jump off a cliff.
So, yeah, I'm having one fun week
EDIT
Part 7 - Fries.
Our booth is so small - How small is it? - Well, it's, at most 60 square feet, and the space to walk in is about 2 1/2 feet wide. In it is some storage. A fridge for pop. A U shaped counter. A sink to wash hands. And a cooker to cook the burger. Very small, and very hot inside. During the very busy times there's 3 people in there. 1 to do the till up front. A middle person to get hot dogs and help dress buns, and get pop. A third person to make burgers.
Every year we get people demanding that we start serving fries.
WHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!! There's no bleeping room in the booth. There's hardly room to move around in there, let alone to have a deep fat fryer.
Drugs are bad, mmmmmmkay!
On today's episode we're going to go through several tales of suck, and EW.
Part one - are you open yet?
3 out of the 4 sides of my booth are still down, early one morning. Now if you walked by a fair booth, and 2 of the 3 sides were closed (including the one by the till), wouldn't you think the booth is closed. Well, not very many people see it that way.
I had one side up so I could get the video games out for sale, and watch them while I kept getting the food ready (or, for a lot of chatters, fuds), and numerous time I had people walk over there and try to order food. Cue multiple cat-butt faces when I tell them, honestly, it will be at least a half hour till the food is ready, and I'll be open for business.
Today took the cake, though. I had ALL 3 sides still closed up. I had just got done unloading supplies, had just gotten back from parking my car, and had JUST barely started cooking fuds. The only thing that was open was the back door (which was partly blocked by trays of buns - more on that suck later). I had a customer come around back and say to me, in a snooty tone "When will you be open, my husband is impatient".
I was totally shocked by the whole thing, and told her (it was 10:20 AM. BTW) "I'm sorry it'll be an hour, or so, till I'm ready". Cue cat-butt face, and a "humppph" as she walked away.
I opened at 11:15 today.
Part 2 - Moochers.
I'm sure that no one is surprised that people are pathetic. I've had so many people coming to my booth, just to take napkins without buying anything. I've, also, had numerous people come up to the booth and ask if we have forks, and, of course, they aren't going to buy anything. I always tell them no, even though we do have forks. We also have people come up to the booth and ask for water, when we tell them it'll be $2 for a bottle of water. The moochers leave at that point, disgusted that we wouldn't give them free water. Besides, you DON'T want to drink the water coming out of our faucet, it tastes terrible.
Also props to the failed genetic experiments for trying to haggle with me on my prices. You see, the number that denotes price on the menu means nothing to them.
It means everything to me.
Part 3 - The crowd.
Kudos to the throng of people at night. I love you all - especially when I'm carrying a bunch of heavy supplies to re-stock the booth, and, instead of seeing me carrying stuff and move out of the way, YOU BLOCK MY FUCKING PATH. Thank you all so much for that, you ass holes! My back loves you.
Part 4 - Coupons/certificates.
Oh, wow, you have a coupon/certificate in your hand. Awesome. One question, though, where on it does it say you can use it at the fair? NOWHERE - YOU CAN'T USE IT HERE! I don't care what kind of cat-butt face you give me, the answer won't change EVER.
Part 5 - Drivers.
I want to thank that lovely person coming out of the merchant lot that I was trying to pull into. See the rows are tight, but you can get 2 cars passing each other if they are off to the sides. I thought it was nice when the person coming out of the lot figured this out and backed up, looking like they were going to move over, and instead go down the fucking center of the row. Thank you ass hole! It was so fun to drive around the block. NOT!
Part 6 - Deliveries.
I alluded to this in part one, briefly. Our booth is shaped like an L. There is the old part where all the cooking and serving happens, and there's a new addition, where storage is. There's doors leading to each section going to the outside where the L comes together.
I'd so like to thank the bun delivery for leaving the buns blocking BOTH DOORS! Wow, you made my job so easy today, by making me squeeze my, kinda, fat ass in between the buns to get supplies to where they needed to go. Thank you soooooo much - jump off a cliff.
So, yeah, I'm having one fun week
EDIT
Part 7 - Fries.
Our booth is so small - How small is it? - Well, it's, at most 60 square feet, and the space to walk in is about 2 1/2 feet wide. In it is some storage. A fridge for pop. A U shaped counter. A sink to wash hands. And a cooker to cook the burger. Very small, and very hot inside. During the very busy times there's 3 people in there. 1 to do the till up front. A middle person to get hot dogs and help dress buns, and get pop. A third person to make burgers.
Every year we get people demanding that we start serving fries.
WHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!! There's no bleeping room in the booth. There's hardly room to move around in there, let alone to have a deep fat fryer.
Drugs are bad, mmmmmmkay!
... Your customers are idiots 
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