Tweet
So, this is a college town, which means roughly twice a year the motorized locust horde of new students moving in descend on us like a biblical plague. Since campus was laid out around 1830-ish, it was never designed to handle road traffic that didn't walk around on 4 legs and any hope of maintaining order when 10,000 Toyota Highlanders with trailers show up is a mass delusion who's persistence is something the psychology department can't even explain.
So, In an effort to make things easier, the University sent around a memo telling people that they had called of the campus cops and for this week only new arrivals could park anywhere on campus and not be towed. The more astute of you in the audience can already tell the massive blunder they made by using the word "anywhere", as that's where most people just stopped reading.
Oh the joys I had telling angry parents that the following places we towed their SUV's from did not count as "campus"
- A Dentist's Office
-The Burger King
-The Dry Cleaners
-Some Random Person's HOUSE DRIVEWAY
-Private Apartment Complexes up to EIGHT BLOCKS from campus
And what did I hear all night as an excuse?
"BUT THEY TOLD US WE COULD PARK ANNNNNNYWHEEEEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
(Except for the lone car with Massachusetts tags, who's complaint was more along the lines of "BUT THEY TOLD US WE COULD PARK EEENNY-WEHYAH!")
Ugh, the various threats to call the cops on us was nice, as was the person lamenting how "Sad" it was that we were towing people for illegal parking because that was "Ruining the name of this university!" One seemed shocked that they had to pay to get their car back and was incredulous that we were "Making money off towing!"
And if their parents are that bad at reading comprehension, imagine the mayhem their kids are going to cause me later in the week.... no, wait I don't have to imagine, I already got it. I got a call last night from one new arrival who wanted a car towed from his space at his apartment.... but didn't know where he lived. And that was followed by another student who's car was towed, but they don't know what kind it is.... they thought it was a Chevy, then called back and said maybe it was a Pontiac, and then after all of THAT, it was towed from a lot we don't do, someone ELSE'S name was on the signs and they STILL called us.
And you folks got IN to college? HOW?
So, In an effort to make things easier, the University sent around a memo telling people that they had called of the campus cops and for this week only new arrivals could park anywhere on campus and not be towed. The more astute of you in the audience can already tell the massive blunder they made by using the word "anywhere", as that's where most people just stopped reading.
Oh the joys I had telling angry parents that the following places we towed their SUV's from did not count as "campus"
- A Dentist's Office
-The Burger King
-The Dry Cleaners
-Some Random Person's HOUSE DRIVEWAY
-Private Apartment Complexes up to EIGHT BLOCKS from campus
And what did I hear all night as an excuse?
"BUT THEY TOLD US WE COULD PARK ANNNNNNYWHEEEEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
(Except for the lone car with Massachusetts tags, who's complaint was more along the lines of "BUT THEY TOLD US WE COULD PARK EEENNY-WEHYAH!")
Ugh, the various threats to call the cops on us was nice, as was the person lamenting how "Sad" it was that we were towing people for illegal parking because that was "Ruining the name of this university!" One seemed shocked that they had to pay to get their car back and was incredulous that we were "Making money off towing!"
And if their parents are that bad at reading comprehension, imagine the mayhem their kids are going to cause me later in the week.... no, wait I don't have to imagine, I already got it. I got a call last night from one new arrival who wanted a car towed from his space at his apartment.... but didn't know where he lived. And that was followed by another student who's car was towed, but they don't know what kind it is.... they thought it was a Chevy, then called back and said maybe it was a Pontiac, and then after all of THAT, it was towed from a lot we don't do, someone ELSE'S name was on the signs and they STILL called us.
And you folks got IN to college? HOW?
This made me bust out laughing. Ah, accents.
Comment