Mistaken Identity (Longish)

[Kara]

This is an actual call I had the other day. Bear in mind, the customer had his wireless bill from us in his hand the whole time But, he was 86 years old and sounds like he was just a wee bit confused over what he was looking at, I guess.

To start with, the customer came on my line upset because he said he was fed up with our company, and that ever few months we changed names and the bills kept changing and getting more confusing. I let him know that there shouldn't be any change to his billing and that he'd been on the same plan for about 3 years, since his service started. After getting him calmed down a little, the fun began.

Me: I'd like to get you taken care of, if you give me a moment I think I can clarify things for you. Now, you said your bills keep changing? Our bill format has been untouched for about 2 years now, and we've been COMPANY X for over 6 years, so it's certainly odd that you are seeing any changes. When was the last time you noticed a change to your statement?
Customer: Well, I've got this bill for $24.xx and... you know what? Forget it. You know, the only reason I put up with you people is because I like to watch Turner Classic Movies. If I didn't have that, I'd just be done with you!
Me: I'm sorry, I must have misunderstood you.
Customer: I said the only reason I even have you is because of my Turner Classic Movies!
Me:

While a few companies offer TV service or work with cable providers to bundle everything in one bill, we don't and never have.

Me: Mr Customer, I think you may have the wrong company. We are your wireless provider, and have nothing to do with your Cable or Satellite service.
Customer: You what? See, this is what I'm talking about! You know what, just cancel my service!
Me: I'm sorry for all the frustration and we definitely want to get you taken care of. But if you have a question about your Cable/Satellite service, you'll need to contact your provider. Now, if I can help you with your COMPANY X service and bill of $24.xx...
Customer: My what now?
Me: We are COMPANY X. Your wireless phone service.
Customer: My phone? My daughter set this phone up for me, so she can call and check on me. But, look, I'm really tired of this. If I cancel my service with you, do I still get Turner Classic Movies?
Me: Sir, we are only your wireless PHONE provider. We have nothing to do with what channels you may or may not receive on your TV. That would be your TV PROVIDER. (I wasn't yelling at the guy, only emphasizing the point).
Customer: I just want to know if I'll still have Turner Classic Movies if I cancel you!
Me: Well.... Technically, yes, you'll still have Turner Classic Movies. In fact, you'll still have ALL your channels, because we have nothing to do with that. What you won't have is your mobile phone service.
Customer: Alright, fine. Cancel my account then.
Me: Perhaps you should talk it over with your daughter. You mentioned she helped you set up the account, and maybe she could better explain-
Customer: I want this thing canceled RIGHT NOW!

I wound up making it perfectly clear about 20 more times that we weren't his cable company and exactly what service he was canceling, but it just never clicked and I canceled him. I mean, I know his gears were probably a little rusty, but if he's that bad off he probably shouldn't be living alone.

[Kusanagi]

Bet you a months pay there will be a followup where the daughter calls upset you cancelled her father's service.

[Geek King]

Bet you a months pay there will be a followup where the daughter calls upset you cancelled her father's service.

I've got 20 bucks on "Screaming Harpy."

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

I've got 20 bucks on "Screaming Harpy."

I'll see your "screaming harpy" and I'll raise you one angry (if a little vague) old timer bitching about the fact that he is still getting a bill for his cable company.

M

[Boozy]

People who take care of elderly parents need to be more aware of how confusing all these bills can be for them. When my grandpa was younger and more "with it", the only bills he received were for hydro, gas, and phone. Now we've got him signed up for internet, cable, cellphone, etc. All of which he knows how to use and have greatly improved his life...but the number of bills he receives in a month are overwhelming to him. To make matters worse, 3 of these services are from the SAME company, but they send him 3 separate bills....you can imagine his reaction the first month THAT happened.
The responsibility for that phonecall lies squarely on the shoulders of his daughter. She needs to explain his bills to him. You handled it very well. Unfortunately, cancelling his account was the only thing you could do.

[ShortTemperHatesStupidity]

I'll see your "screaming harpy" and I'll raise you one angry (if a little vague) old timer bitching about the fact that he is still getting a bill for his cable company.

M

Can I tell you that as I was reading down the posts I was thinking the exact same farking thing.. It's scary how predictable they are.

[Arachne]

My father and his brothers take very good care of my grandmother (their mother). They got her internet, showed her how to use it (sorta -- she's never completely caught on) and satellite TV, etc. The bills don't go to her. They go to one of her sons.

(They also bought her A HOUSE for her 80th birthday. A HOUSE. This is from a family that, when they were growing up, only had a Thanksgiving dinner one year because my father stayed up all night several nights in a row so that he could win a radio contest. And she deserves every bit of it, BTW. Sweetest woman in the whole world. I gain five pounds whenever I visit.)