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I'm pretty sure everyone on here has had someone ask for change somewhere during their retail careers. Bus fare, split a 20, stuff like that.
At our convenience store, due to the unbelievable amount of traffic we get (People grab a scratch, sit down and come back like clockwork.) we cannot make change, no matter the situation. We do be nice and break the rule on the rare occasion but if our float for next morning runs the risk of having a higher paper content then metal, we don't give out change. Ever.
No, I don't care if your stepsister is having a baby on the side of the road, i'm not giving you bus fare to give to her so she can ride the bus to the hospital. That's what taxis are for. (One of the lamest excuses I've heard for bus fare.)
On the other hand, despite it's legal tender status we don't accept $100 bills. It's too much of a risk to an employee if he/she lets a fake slip through on a busy day and I'm sure nobody wants to replace that $100 in the till due to being overworked.
So, that in mind, rewind to last week. I had completely forgotten about this but the drive-thru stories made it surface.
Picture a busy Saturday morning: The mall is packed with shoppers, Christmas music had just begun (Including a really REALLY nasally sounding beaver woman singing "Two front teeth" Every 30 minutes or so.) and the shoppers were buying their dailies.
A kid, probably fresh out of class at SC High reaches the counter and asks for smokes. We ask for ID, he gives us his birth certificate.
Now, this isn't the wallet kind that is shaped like a credit card. Nope. This isn't a copy either. it's his full blown wrinkled stamped sweat smelling BC from way back when his Mummy granted his existence. I assume you all know what a legal photo ID is, so I won't bore with details but we refused outright.
Plus he was underage by a year.
The kid was annoyed, but tried to be reasonable stating that the certificate was government issue. Transcript as follows.
SC: This is a legal document. You can't refuse it.
Me: Sir, I require a PHOTO ID before I can verify your age. There is no picture on a BC.
SC: Well, how about I give you my student card as well?
ME: It doesn't work that way. I need a photo, signature and birthdate on the same card, one that is issued by the government.
SC: Well, I don't have one. My drivers licence was confiscated so this'll have to do.
Aha! A clue, Sherlock!
Me: I'm sorry, but i'm going to have to refuse.
SC: What?
Me: I'm refusing you your purchase. You don't have the required ID, and even if that is your legal birth certificate I can see from the birth date that you are under age. Now, unless you want candy or a drink I'm going to have to ask you to step out of-
SC: Bullshit, man! I'm 21! I want my smokes!
Me: Can you prove it?
SC: The f**k I can! I worked in this mall before you were born! Ask anyone!
Point in fact, I had my 23rd birthday two weeks ago.
Me getting annoyed: I doubt it. Please leave. There's a line growing behind you.
At this point, the kid slams a $100 bill on the counter and demands smokes.
Did I mention we don't accept $100 bills?
Me: No means no.
SC: Look, I'll give you half, just give me a pack!
Now he was trying to bribe me! If it weren't for my lifelong goal to obey the law, the fine of $$10,000 hanging over my head and the moral obligation to deny this wife-beater-in-training his precious, I maaay have accepted.
Me: Tempting, but no. Please leave the-
SC: Bullshit man! Bullshit! I want your manager!
Me: I'd be happy to give you her work number.
So I pull out a piece of paper and search for a pen, but as luck would have it, they were either in the back being used by my co-worker to do the morning paperwork or stolen. So, I grabbed a sharpie. I put the piece of paper on the counter and wrote the store's number. I probably shouldn't have done that, but you could look the number up in the phone directory anyway.
Now, here's where things get funny. I had put the paper on top of the $100 bill by accident. Those who have used Sharpies know that they bleed through thin paper and the paper I used was a roll of thermal paper commonly used for cash receipts. It's thin, it's flimsy and suffice to say the sharpie left a unique set of blots on the bill.
I noticed it immediately and my heart sank.
Thankfully he didn't.
The man swore up and down that he was going to call my manager and get me fired for poor customer service, denying him what was rightly his, not accepting legal tender (Big words! His mummy taught him well.) not going to church, blah blah blah.
He finally left. My co-worker finished her paperwork, we took stock and the day proceeded fairly normally for the next 2 hours, when guess who comes along?
Certificate kid!
This time I was in the back doing candy stock and didn't see him but apparently he was waiting for me to go away so he could try the whole dance routine on my co-worker, who is one of the smarter people I know. Sure enough, he's denied again and throws a hissy fit.
It was a few hours later when he comes by AGAIN. This time, I'm on cash and immediately say "No. Please leave."
SC: I just want some change." He puts the big 100 on the counter.
Me: Even if I were obliged to give you change, which I'm not, we cannot accept $100 bills. I think I told you this already.
SC: But I'm stuck here! I didn't bring enough bus fare to get home!
Me: That's not my problem. You didn't plan enough to have fare for home?
SC: I thought I was getting smokes!
Me: Well, sorry but no.
SC: F**k You, man. F**k You. I'm calling your manager right now!
At this a biiiiiig smile grows on my face. My co-worker was in the back counting cigs so she would be the first to get the phone.
He dials, it rings, the phone in the back picks up.
Now, if you rub two brain cells together you would come to the conclusion, or at least a relative one that when your phone starts to ring and a nearby one does, you might be calling that phone!
Nope. Not to him.
For the sake of clarity, i'll call my co-worker CW.
CW: [Store name here,] This is CW how may I help you?
SC (Who can't see her talking) You the boss?
CW: No, sir. She's-
SC: I have a complaint to make! One of your workers has refused-
CW: Sir, I'm not the-
SC: Shut up and listen! I want your employee, the one with the ponytail to be fired for incompetence (Ooh! Big words again! Oxford worthy!) and being rude!
CW: Sir, please stop-
At this point the line behind the man was getting longer. In an almost uncharacteristically nice move, he gets out of line and stands on the side to continue his call.
SC: Not 2 minutes ago he refused me -again!- service and legal ID and tender! I want him out, and a formal-
CW (Who now realizes who is on the phone) *Click!*
Now due to his angle to the booth, he notices for the first time my co-worker on the phone. As she hangs up on him, his last two remaining braincells snap together and have a mind blowing conference.
He leaves in a huff, swearing left right and center that he'll be back.
THE NEXT DAY:
The day was moving smoothly, sales and traffic were a little above average.
At one point, a man comes up to the counter and orders a pack of cigs. We go through the routine, ID him, grab his purchase and tell him the total.
That's when we notice something REALLY funny.
As the man pulls out a leaf of bills, one of them is a $100 bill.
A very familiar $100 bill.
Remember when I said that I accidentally marked the kid's $100 with sharpie? The pattern on the bill was distinct and very easily remembered, seeing as it's the store's phone number.
We refuse, cite reasons and tell him we suspect he's buying for someone underage which we can refuse someone for, and cancel his transaction.
The man, despite the illegal attempt is nonplussed and leaves the line. Not 20 feet away, sitting in a chair in the food court, guess who he gives the bill back to?
The kid. He begins to loudly swear, stomp his feet and starts throwing food court trays. Security lands on him like a ton of bricks and escort him outside where I'm told they banned him from the mall for life.
Fun times folks! Idiot customers abound but sometimes their desperation can make your day a whole lot brighter.
At our convenience store, due to the unbelievable amount of traffic we get (People grab a scratch, sit down and come back like clockwork.) we cannot make change, no matter the situation. We do be nice and break the rule on the rare occasion but if our float for next morning runs the risk of having a higher paper content then metal, we don't give out change. Ever.
No, I don't care if your stepsister is having a baby on the side of the road, i'm not giving you bus fare to give to her so she can ride the bus to the hospital. That's what taxis are for. (One of the lamest excuses I've heard for bus fare.)
On the other hand, despite it's legal tender status we don't accept $100 bills. It's too much of a risk to an employee if he/she lets a fake slip through on a busy day and I'm sure nobody wants to replace that $100 in the till due to being overworked.
So, that in mind, rewind to last week. I had completely forgotten about this but the drive-thru stories made it surface.
Picture a busy Saturday morning: The mall is packed with shoppers, Christmas music had just begun (Including a really REALLY nasally sounding beaver woman singing "Two front teeth" Every 30 minutes or so.) and the shoppers were buying their dailies.
A kid, probably fresh out of class at SC High reaches the counter and asks for smokes. We ask for ID, he gives us his birth certificate.
Now, this isn't the wallet kind that is shaped like a credit card. Nope. This isn't a copy either. it's his full blown wrinkled stamped sweat smelling BC from way back when his Mummy granted his existence. I assume you all know what a legal photo ID is, so I won't bore with details but we refused outright.
Plus he was underage by a year.
The kid was annoyed, but tried to be reasonable stating that the certificate was government issue. Transcript as follows.
SC: This is a legal document. You can't refuse it.
Me: Sir, I require a PHOTO ID before I can verify your age. There is no picture on a BC.
SC: Well, how about I give you my student card as well?
ME: It doesn't work that way. I need a photo, signature and birthdate on the same card, one that is issued by the government.
SC: Well, I don't have one. My drivers licence was confiscated so this'll have to do.
Aha! A clue, Sherlock!
Me: I'm sorry, but i'm going to have to refuse.
SC: What?
Me: I'm refusing you your purchase. You don't have the required ID, and even if that is your legal birth certificate I can see from the birth date that you are under age. Now, unless you want candy or a drink I'm going to have to ask you to step out of-
SC: Bullshit, man! I'm 21! I want my smokes!
Me: Can you prove it?
SC: The f**k I can! I worked in this mall before you were born! Ask anyone!
Point in fact, I had my 23rd birthday two weeks ago.
Me getting annoyed: I doubt it. Please leave. There's a line growing behind you.
At this point, the kid slams a $100 bill on the counter and demands smokes.
Did I mention we don't accept $100 bills?
Me: No means no.
SC: Look, I'll give you half, just give me a pack!
Now he was trying to bribe me! If it weren't for my lifelong goal to obey the law, the fine of $$10,000 hanging over my head and the moral obligation to deny this wife-beater-in-training his precious, I maaay have accepted.
Me: Tempting, but no. Please leave the-
SC: Bullshit man! Bullshit! I want your manager!
Me: I'd be happy to give you her work number.
So I pull out a piece of paper and search for a pen, but as luck would have it, they were either in the back being used by my co-worker to do the morning paperwork or stolen. So, I grabbed a sharpie. I put the piece of paper on the counter and wrote the store's number. I probably shouldn't have done that, but you could look the number up in the phone directory anyway.
Now, here's where things get funny. I had put the paper on top of the $100 bill by accident. Those who have used Sharpies know that they bleed through thin paper and the paper I used was a roll of thermal paper commonly used for cash receipts. It's thin, it's flimsy and suffice to say the sharpie left a unique set of blots on the bill.
I noticed it immediately and my heart sank.
Thankfully he didn't.
The man swore up and down that he was going to call my manager and get me fired for poor customer service, denying him what was rightly his, not accepting legal tender (Big words! His mummy taught him well.) not going to church, blah blah blah.
He finally left. My co-worker finished her paperwork, we took stock and the day proceeded fairly normally for the next 2 hours, when guess who comes along?
Certificate kid!
This time I was in the back doing candy stock and didn't see him but apparently he was waiting for me to go away so he could try the whole dance routine on my co-worker, who is one of the smarter people I know. Sure enough, he's denied again and throws a hissy fit.
It was a few hours later when he comes by AGAIN. This time, I'm on cash and immediately say "No. Please leave."
SC: I just want some change." He puts the big 100 on the counter.
Me: Even if I were obliged to give you change, which I'm not, we cannot accept $100 bills. I think I told you this already.
SC: But I'm stuck here! I didn't bring enough bus fare to get home!
Me: That's not my problem. You didn't plan enough to have fare for home?
SC: I thought I was getting smokes!
Me: Well, sorry but no.
SC: F**k You, man. F**k You. I'm calling your manager right now!
At this a biiiiiig smile grows on my face. My co-worker was in the back counting cigs so she would be the first to get the phone.
He dials, it rings, the phone in the back picks up.
Now, if you rub two brain cells together you would come to the conclusion, or at least a relative one that when your phone starts to ring and a nearby one does, you might be calling that phone!
Nope. Not to him.
For the sake of clarity, i'll call my co-worker CW.
CW: [Store name here,] This is CW how may I help you?
SC (Who can't see her talking) You the boss?
CW: No, sir. She's-
SC: I have a complaint to make! One of your workers has refused-
CW: Sir, I'm not the-
SC: Shut up and listen! I want your employee, the one with the ponytail to be fired for incompetence (Ooh! Big words again! Oxford worthy!) and being rude!
CW: Sir, please stop-
At this point the line behind the man was getting longer. In an almost uncharacteristically nice move, he gets out of line and stands on the side to continue his call.
SC: Not 2 minutes ago he refused me -again!- service and legal ID and tender! I want him out, and a formal-
CW (Who now realizes who is on the phone) *Click!*
Now due to his angle to the booth, he notices for the first time my co-worker on the phone. As she hangs up on him, his last two remaining braincells snap together and have a mind blowing conference.
He leaves in a huff, swearing left right and center that he'll be back.
THE NEXT DAY:
The day was moving smoothly, sales and traffic were a little above average.
At one point, a man comes up to the counter and orders a pack of cigs. We go through the routine, ID him, grab his purchase and tell him the total.
That's when we notice something REALLY funny.
As the man pulls out a leaf of bills, one of them is a $100 bill.
A very familiar $100 bill.
Remember when I said that I accidentally marked the kid's $100 with sharpie? The pattern on the bill was distinct and very easily remembered, seeing as it's the store's phone number.
We refuse, cite reasons and tell him we suspect he's buying for someone underage which we can refuse someone for, and cancel his transaction.
The man, despite the illegal attempt is nonplussed and leaves the line. Not 20 feet away, sitting in a chair in the food court, guess who he gives the bill back to?
The kid. He begins to loudly swear, stomp his feet and starts throwing food court trays. Security lands on him like a ton of bricks and escort him outside where I'm told they banned him from the mall for life.
Fun times folks! Idiot customers abound but sometimes their desperation can make your day a whole lot brighter.
And if
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