Gheble- (or the noise my brain makes some days)

[Opalin]

So while I continue to look for a better job I've been running the paper route. We'll see how this goes, my new boss loves me, because apparently he stuck me on a route which he hadn't been able to keep anybody on due to complaints or something... But I don't get that many. Usually when I do, they're honest mistakes, but sometimes...


Complaint- NOT TOUCHING

Situation - Bag not touching door, customer is elderly, please make sure the bag is touching the door.

Problem I had with complaint - This person has a locked fence. I can't get in, (at least not without doing property damage, which, I'll admit when people are stupid... ) So it is literally impossible for me to 100% of the time get the bag exactly touching the door, when the weight of the paper changes each day.
Problem the second - their mailbox, garage etc are on the outside of this fence. By sheer virtue of this, you have to be able to get in there, or else you wouldn't keep that fence locked since you have a custom mailbox.... Everyone in that neighborhood has their mailbox right next to their door. You're the only one with an enclosing fence.

Complaint - POOR SERVICE

Situation THE PAPER HIT MY DOOR!! THE PAPER SHOULD NOT HIT MY DOOR! IT SHOULD BE PLACED CAREFULLY ON MY PORCH! POOR SERVICE.

Yes. They actually sent it in all caps. 0_o At 3 in the afternoon. W.T.F. Sir. You are aware you are one of over a hundred people I have spread out over 8 neighborhoods? If you are going to request the bag be placed on your porch, instead of the nice little newspaper holder, I am going to generally be throwing the bag, like your 3 neighbors, who have no problems with this.

This one requires the actual story of me getting this. It isn't a complaint per se.

B- my boss, not the greatest, but at least sane
Me -
OID - over entitled dude.

Me- B did you see this request that's on my "start" sheet?
B - no, what's it say?
OID

When paper is delivered to front door, please call me at xxx-xxxx, then stand and wait at the door until I come down the stairs

B- Yeah. you don't have to do that. You weren't hired as a wakeup call.
Me - if he calls back and offers me 40$ a week, let me know, I might consider it then.

[bainsidhe]

Was the last guy in an apartment complex? Not saying it's right, but sis always has her paper stolen.

[bhskittykatt]

Ugh. Sounds like some of the customers on Hubby's old paper route. We got some weird complaints on that one as well.

One of my favorites? Almost EVERYONE on that route, for the most part, wanted their newspapers on their porch instead of their driveway. So Hubs would park the car, deliver to four or five, drive a bit and park, deliver to the next for or so, etc. On one block since he was already stopped to deliver to these three porch requests, he went ahead and decided to be nice delivered to the porch to a fourth customer there who had no special requests.

Cue the ranting and raving. No, it can't be on the porch by the door! It HAD to be at the END of the driveway by the ROAD!!! Not the porch, not in the middle of the driveway, specifically right at the END! And if we didn't do it they would CANCEL!!!!

Yeah...glad we don't have to deal with that route any more. Some of those people were nuts.

[Opalin]

He is, but I'd prefer to just ring the doorbell (which is what I've been doing) rather than get more complaints waiting for him to wake up.

Yeah...glad we don't have to deal with that route any more. Some of those people were nuts.

Reminds me of one of the customers, I had an extra paper (it happens once in a while) and decided to gift it to the person. They don't have to pay, and usually I just give it to the business at the end of my route, but, eh. it was one house over. Cue message informing me that THEY DON'T WANT FREE PAPERS. (yes, they put that. Yes, they understood it was free).

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

Here's what you do for the "place it gently" ass:

Giftwrap it, and put it on his porch.

Or put a little Andes Mint on it.

[Maria]

My in-laws used to have paper routes, and I used to go with my sister-in-law, when I had insomniac nights. She always got the strangest complaints, and then the people who we figured would definitely complain, never did.

Guy whose paper landed about 5 feet up, skewered to his saguaro cactus? No complaints. Lady whose truck we nailed, setting off the alarm at 5:17 on a holiday morning? Not a word. Lady whose dog shredded the paper before she picked it up? Signed up for a second subscription, one to be thrown into the yard for the dog, and the other to be left outside the fence for her. Guy who got nailed in the shins, when his paper sailed onto the porch right as he stepped out? Ran up to the truck laughing to high-five us.

But we ended up with about 50% of subscribers complaining about missing a section, the week that our newspaper changed its Monday format from two sections to one. We once got a complaint from a customer whose house we intentionally skipped, because we were short a paper and they hadn't picked theirs up in the past 6 weeks. I'm still not sure how they noticed one missing.

The manager griped at her for not following one customer request to toss the paper into the bed of his pickup truck. And he griped about the complaints from the guy's neighbors every time the paper set his truck alarm off. We got yelled at for being late at the end of the route, because we paused to report a dead body in one apartment complex parking lot. We were late once because instead of splitting up to cover one complex, we had to go together, SIL throwing papers, and me being shoved around backwards, hanging onto the horns of a goat that was trying to head-butt her to death. It was a no-pet complex, but I guess livestock didn't count..?

Yeah, I don't really miss that job, although it was kind fun at the time, our own private little pre-dawn adventure through the city.

[notlovinit]

Reminds me of one of the customers, I had an extra paper (it happens once in a while) and decided to gift it to the person.

Ah, I didn't realize this could happen. At my house we only get Sunday and holiday delivery and we randomly got a paper in the middle of the week this week. I was confused by it, but just figured they messed up and gave it to the wrong house. It didn't even occur to me that they were trying to be nice. I feel bad now.

Also, your story about the lady with a locked gate reminds me of a story. As a little background, my mom works for the post office and my soon to be father-in-law lives in the city that she works for and he has a locked gate. One day he was expecting a package and when he didn't get it CHASED down the mail carrier (not my mom) and yelled at him about how dare he not deliver the package and instead leave a slip in the mailbox to come pick it up at the office!! Mail carrier simply states,"I cannot get up to your door to deliver it when your gate is locked." FIL demands the postal carrier jump over the fence to deliver packages from now on. Mail carrier isn't going to do it and FIL now is known by all the mail carriers in the city.

[Opalin]

We were late once because instead of splitting up to cover one complex, we had to go together, SIL throwing papers, and me being shoved around backwards, hanging onto the horns of a goat that was trying to head-butt her to death. It was a no-pet complex, but I guess livestock didn't count..?

Yeah, I don't really miss that job, although it was kind fun at the time, our own private little pre-dawn adventure through the city.

That is impressive indeed.

FIL demands the postal carrier jump over the fence to deliver packages from now on

He wanted them to jump... with the package?? How agile are your postal carriers?

[wynjara]

We were late once because instead of splitting up to cover one complex, we had to go together, SIL throwing papers, and me being shoved around backwards, hanging onto the horns of a goat that was trying to head-butt her to death. It was a no-pet complex, but I guess livestock didn't count..?

Just reading along, being amused, go to pick up soda and hit this line- so glad I read a smidgen faster than I pick up cans. Very nearly had a rule violation there

Worst I ever had on a walking route (not papers, just a job I had to walk a lot) was a pig hissing at me from a driveway.

[XCashier]

Here's what you do for the "place it gently" ass:

Giftwrap it, and put it on his porch.

Or put a little Andes Mint on it.

Sadly, they'll demand that every time. Besides, why waste a perfectly nice candy on a SC?

We got yelled at for being late at the end of the route, because we paused to report a dead body in one apartment complex parking lot.

I would think that the death of a human being would be a tad more important than finishing a paper route on time! Then again, I'm not a SC...

We were late once because instead of splitting up to cover one complex, we had to go together, SIL throwing papers, and me being shoved around backwards, hanging onto the horns of a goat that was trying to head-butt her to death. It was a no-pet complex, but I guess livestock didn't count..?

I...have no words. Just...wow.

[thehuckster]

The last guy, just put him at the start of your route for a few days... I'm sure he'll ask you to stop after he is called routinely at 3:30 in the morning to pick up his newspaper.