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Wherein I dabble in carpentry, self-help and stand-up comedy
Monday Monday...can't trust that day.
Insert Tab A Into Slot B
I spent close to twenty minutes on the phone with a lady...explaining to her how to work her plastic six-foot folding table. >.>
Which has all of maybe 8 moving parts. Stick your hands in the notch at the top, fold the table out, fold out the legs and adjust the little metal rings so they lock, and push the button to the "lock" position to lock the table top and keep it from folding. How this needed to be elaborated more specifically in a twenty-minute phone call, I have no idea.
Thanks For Helping
An older woman needs help getting an artifical Christmas tree into her cart, and schlepping it to her car. She asks the swamp's electronics specialist, who happens to be walking by, for help. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, so he pages somebody from the salesfloor to help her instead. When nobody responds, he seeks out the one person on the salesfloor, another older lady, and tells her to help the lady.
Because a sixty-something lady trying to lift a Christmas tree for a seventy-or-eighty something lady is kinda hazardous, she sought out me, because I must just have testosterone Niagara-falling out of my ears or something.
Why electronics specialist refused to help is beyond me--oh wait, now I know why: Because he's a lazy fuck. It isn't as if he needed to get back to the department so there would be something there. We've been running two people back in electronics almost all day every day lately.
Your Toolbox Called. When Are You Coming Back
Woman comes in to return an armoire from one of our bedroom furniture collections because her husband, who's "good with tools," couldn't figure out how to put it together.
I assembled a similar armoire at the small-town store a few weeks ago. If I can do that, it ceases to become a challenge of any magnitude.
A cursory glance at the several pieces and parts dumped in the backroom identified the problem--the guy didn't follow the directions and stuck cam bolts where they didn't belong and assembled certain pieces out of order. I ended up taking a few things apart and reassembling them, and the resulting completed piece of furniture went out in the middle of aisle in front of furniture, on clearance.
Riddle Time:
What's the difference between the guy who came to pick up a crib, a crib mattress, two chests of drawers and a dresser in a Toyota Prius, and Al Gore?
Answer: One is a dim-witted, self-important windbag feigning environmental consciousness, and the other did An Inconvenient Truth.
Thank you, you've been great. Enjoy Ugly Kid Joe, and join us for double bubble Thursday night.
Insert Tab A Into Slot B
I spent close to twenty minutes on the phone with a lady...explaining to her how to work her plastic six-foot folding table. >.>
Which has all of maybe 8 moving parts. Stick your hands in the notch at the top, fold the table out, fold out the legs and adjust the little metal rings so they lock, and push the button to the "lock" position to lock the table top and keep it from folding. How this needed to be elaborated more specifically in a twenty-minute phone call, I have no idea.
Thanks For Helping
An older woman needs help getting an artifical Christmas tree into her cart, and schlepping it to her car. She asks the swamp's electronics specialist, who happens to be walking by, for help. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, so he pages somebody from the salesfloor to help her instead. When nobody responds, he seeks out the one person on the salesfloor, another older lady, and tells her to help the lady.
Because a sixty-something lady trying to lift a Christmas tree for a seventy-or-eighty something lady is kinda hazardous, she sought out me, because I must just have testosterone Niagara-falling out of my ears or something.
Why electronics specialist refused to help is beyond me--oh wait, now I know why: Because he's a lazy fuck. It isn't as if he needed to get back to the department so there would be something there. We've been running two people back in electronics almost all day every day lately.
Your Toolbox Called. When Are You Coming Back
Woman comes in to return an armoire from one of our bedroom furniture collections because her husband, who's "good with tools," couldn't figure out how to put it together.
I assembled a similar armoire at the small-town store a few weeks ago. If I can do that, it ceases to become a challenge of any magnitude.
A cursory glance at the several pieces and parts dumped in the backroom identified the problem--the guy didn't follow the directions and stuck cam bolts where they didn't belong and assembled certain pieces out of order. I ended up taking a few things apart and reassembling them, and the resulting completed piece of furniture went out in the middle of aisle in front of furniture, on clearance.
Riddle Time:
What's the difference between the guy who came to pick up a crib, a crib mattress, two chests of drawers and a dresser in a Toyota Prius, and Al Gore?
Answer: One is a dim-witted, self-important windbag feigning environmental consciousness, and the other did An Inconvenient Truth.
Thank you, you've been great. Enjoy Ugly Kid Joe, and join us for double bubble Thursday night.
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