In which I ruined Christmas

[vloglady]

Sometimes the larger bed sets come with window stuff. Curtains, drapes, valances, etc

[HappyFun Ball]

Yay! Go you!

We should have an "I ruined Christmas" thread for these stories.

This post gave me the idea to post a few "You ruined Christmas!" myself.

[thedrunkenmonkey]

I LOVE "ruining <insert event or holiday here> for me!!!!".

Mainly because I get to then yell, "AWESOME! HEY, EVERYONE! I JUST RUINED CHRISTMAS! That is so cool! Me and the Grinch. I think I'm going to go into politics just so I can take candy away from babies! Mark another downtrodden soul for me on my Evil Grinding Death To Your Happy Holiday List! I LOVE it when people's lives are so pathetic they let me, a minion of <insert entity here> destroy their entire event! WHOO HOO! Someone pour me a mug of baby blood, Satan and I are celebratin' TONIGHT!"

...and then I was fired from my retail job, but on the whole I think it was a good career move.

(Although I do say something like this when I'm working my volunteer shifts at The Event in the Desert and someone comes up to me and says, "You're RUINING MY EVENT IN THE DESERT!" Thing is, it did take me two jobs at a now defunct sporting goods store and one at a retail clothing store to realize that quite possibly ACTUAL retail might not be the best career choice for my personality type**.)

**which still snickers like a twelve-year old boy when it sees the words "vaginal probe" in a technical manual it has to rewrite because the highly professional and yet somewhat squeamish medical device engineers have edited the whole damn thing to say "Hoo-Ha Probe". Not kidding.

[emax4]

What would be some good comebacks when one is actually on the job and has to endure hearing that? Comebacks that would ensure one wouldn't get fired?

SC: "YOU RUINED CHRISTMAS!!"

possible comebacks:

- "But saved Kwanzaa/Hanukkah!" - The customer can't report you as encouraging the ruining of Christmas

- "Hey Patty, tally up one for me in that contest.." - The customer won't know what you're talking about. They can assume, but they have no proof since they're on the end of being the customer, not the employee.

- (smiling)"You made my day sir/mam. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!" - a little iffy, even though you're wishing them good tidings. I originally had the word "and" before "you", but by omitting the word "and", your defense is that you made their day by having them come through your line.

[thedrunkenmonkey]

What would be some good comebacks when one is actually on the job and has to endure hearing that? Comebacks that would ensure one wouldn't get fired?

SC: "YOU RUINED CHRISTMAS!!"

possible comebacks:

- "But saved Kwanzaa/Hanukkah!" - The customer can't report you as encouraging the ruining of Christmas

- "Hey Patty, tally up one for me in that contest.." - The customer won't know what you're talking about. They can assume, but they have no proof since they're on the end of being the customer, not the employee.

- (smiling)"You made my day sir/mam. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!" - a little iffy, even though you're wishing them good tidings. I originally had the word "and" before "you", but by omitting the word "and", your defense is that you made their day by having them come through your line.

The thing is, nobody who says "YOU RUINED CHRISTMAS FOR ME!" is operating on a sane planet.

I hate to link this in a retail-heavy environment, but one of my Christmas / Holiday movies I love to watch EVERY year is the Reverend Billy's What Would Jesus Buy?

(TRAILER LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGi21YQFjMM)

The concept of using credit cards to finance your entire holiday, and that by spending MORE money, you somehow show your friends and loved ones how much you care about them - even if you go into debt. There's an entire culture that surrounds the idea of overindulgence and expenditure at the holidays when most of the time the only thing people really want is to spend time with family or the people they love.

(I know I'm getting all philosophical on you here, but I'll get back to it.)

So the only thing I can think of is that when I see a SC losing their shit at the holiday season, the best reply is:

Polite Reply: "I'm terribly sorry that my inability to fulfill your immediate needs and assumed expectations has caused you emotional distress and has caused your holiday season to be permamently unenjoyable. I do hope you recover from this incident long enough to enjoy the time you have with your friends and family."

Barbed Reply: "I am so sorry that our thirty-second interaction has impacted your personal life to such a horrible extent. I apologize and hope that you find what you're looking for, but I am obviously unable to assist you at this time. Thank you so much for your honest opinion of me and my store, and I do hope you have better success at another establishment."

Vicious Reply: "Thank you so much for that feedback. We do try to help all of our customers with whatever they need during the holiday season. It appears you've found out you need a nap and a time out. Please don't hesitate to ask for assistance anyplace else but here."

I Don't Give a Shit If I'm Fired, I Don't Get Paid Enough For This Crap and Should Have Gone to Law School: "I apologize, ma'am. I wasn't aware that refusing to participate in an illegal transaction that qualifies as consumer fraud would ruin your Christmas holiday."

Jewish and Funny: "But on the other hand, I made sure the store lights stayed on for eight days and eight nights while the rabid armies of psychotic suburbanites tore through our store! It's a holiday miracle!"

Obscure, Snarkily Rude*: "But on the bright side, you've initiated the first confrontation of Festivus. Congratulations! You're still ugly, ignorant, and smell like five-month old cheese. Now get out of here before you contaminate the world with your entitled ignorance."

*This one, if you get caught by a supervisor or called up on your attitude, can be legally referred to as a religious observance for a special holiday, as it is both a cultural phenomenon and an observed holiday (December 23rd). It's also not a creation of a sitcom, but rather a sitcom writer's holiday tradition. You might have to come up with a Festivus pole on short notice, though, and say, "I honestly thought she was engaging in the Airing of Grievances for Festivus and was ready for me to respond as called for in the Tome of Constanza. I apologize."

But realistically if someone's yelling at you for ruining Christmas, you had nothing to do with their meltdown. You just happened to be the focal target of their personal rage at the combination of stress, overspending, overeating, overexpectations, and the inability to unclench long enough to realize the purchase of plastic crap to wrap up and give to their spawnlings, relatives of unknown tastes and flavors, has as much emotional meaning and depth as a Justin Bieber song.

So even singing "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" and sashaying away won't save you from their impotent customer wrath.

Just know that they really do MEAN it, and that their Christmas really IS already ruined, and has been ruined for quite a very, very long time.

You weren't the cause. You were just the yudasgoat. Their Christmas was ruined the minute they lunged for the toy, tried to justify their bad behavior, tried to get more by wheedling and lying, and used fake outrage to try to get their way.

So the best response really is just to be exceedingly polite and reply to them with exact phrasing of what they said, while making it clear their ultimatum is taken as an ultimatum.

"I'm sorry you feel my actions have ruined your enjoyment of the entire holiday season, and therefore have no ability to make it any better. I hope you are able to find what you're looking for elsewhere. Have a safe journey to your next destination."

[AccountingDrone]

That looks too yummy! Now I want one and I feel that I don't get one of those, MY Christmas will be ruined! Curse you AccountingDrone! You shall rue this day!

neener

[emax4]

DANG, you had some great comebacks. I almost forgot about Festivus too. I did work at a construction place where someone went through the trouble of making Monopoly-style Festivus cards that had George's head with "Happy Festivus".

[blas]

Congrats on ruining a Christmas! We should really keep tallies around here this time of year.

I guess I should go foaming at the mouth back to Scheels and scream at them for ruining Christmas because they didn't have any Mad Bomber hats in my brother's fat head size for a more affordable price!

[ADoyle90815]

DANG, you had some great comebacks. I almost forgot about Festivus too. I did work at a construction place where someone went through the trouble of making Monopoly-style Festivus cards that had George's head with "Happy Festivus".

My brother even has a Festivus pole in his cubicle at work.

As far as ruining Christmases, so far I haven't done so this year, but in previous years when I worked in retail, several were ruined. Those were because people waited until the last minute to buy metal ornament hooks, as those sold out really early, and once those were out of stock, that was it for the year.

[Teefies2]

Being out of metal ornaments hooks ruins your Christmas????? Who knew? I always just used paper clips ;-)

[energyguy]

I was having this conversation at work yesterday, that all the Christmas's i've worked at EnergyCompany, i've never been told i ruined a christmas, which considering i deal with large bills and people in debt is quite amazing. Even more amazing was the coincidence that the very next call contained a customer claiming i had SAVED christmas.

a woman had been evicted, she was calling from a homeless shelter to let us know that she was no longer going to be responsible for the bills. However she had been paying by Direct Debit and was expecting a large bill. As it is the beginning of winter her account was actually in credit and when i explained that we would be refunding her nearly £300, she burst into tears, crying that i had saved her christmas.

So i'm now -1 in the "I Ruined Christmas" contest

[emax4]

I was having this conversation at work yesterday, that all the Christmas's i've worked at EnergyCompany, i've never been told i ruined a christmas, which considering i deal with large bills and people in debt is quite amazing. Even more amazing was the coincidence that the very next call contained a customer claiming i had SAVED christmas.

a woman had been evicted, she was calling from a homeless shelter to let us know that she was no longer going to be responsible for the bills. However she had been paying by Direct Debit and was expecting a large bill. As it is the beginning of winter her account was actually in credit and when i explained that we would be refunding her nearly £300, she burst into tears, crying that i had saved her christmas.

So i'm now -1 in the "I Ruined Christmas" contest

Awesome way to start my weekend by reading this!

[Linda]

I ruined a Christmas today!
My shop (which seems to do everything but is in fact mainly a cobbler / keycutter) doesn't do giftwrapping. For free. On items bought in a completely different shop. So I "ruined Christmas" by ensuring that her presents remain unwrapped spoiling the surprises.
I could have pointed out 2 places where they'll giftwrap anything you take them - one is free and the other is for a charity donation - but it may have slipped my mind during her rant. Oops.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Ya'll suck.

I've been too busy in the back room, and thus not spending enough time out on the salesfloor, to ruin anybody's Christmas.

One more week to go. I had best get crackin'.

[dragon_wings]

I'm stuck on the register during Christmas but that doesn't mean I can't still ruin Christmas. :P