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I hadn’t even got to work and I was annoyed. One of the managers called me in the morning.
M: Hi customersruinmylife, is there any chance you could work a six until close tonight?
Me: I’m already working. I’m doing a three until close.
M: But you were my only hope for cover!
Me: Well there’s not much I can do when I am already working.
M: Great. *click*
Yes. He was annoyed at me for not being available to cover...because I was already working.
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I didn’t think it could possibly be worse than last Friday, but it was. A co-worker gave me a ride to work, and we were stunned at what we saw. We expected the pub to be busy, but not THAT busy. The place was jam packed with people. There were people in suits who had clearly finished work for Christmas. There were families who were probably taking their kids out for a “treat” and there were a lot of Christmas shoppers, meaning there were shopping bags everywhere, creating a minefield. The place was also a mess. There were glasses, empty plates and bits of food all over the place. A co-worker who was working the floor mouthed “Help meee!” at us as soon as we walked through the door. She normally wears her hair in a bun. It had all come out of place and it was clear she had been pulling her own hair from stress.
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On our way to the bar, we noticed a massive gravy-like smear all over the wall, with several vegetables still stuck to it. I later learned this was from a particularly nasty customer who was upset at our portion sizes. Rather than deal with it like an adult, she threw the plate against the wall.
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We’re still not at the bar, and I get stopped.
SC: WHERE ARE THE TOILETS?!?!?! I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR HOURS!!!
Me: *frightened* Just to your left under the giant sign that says “Toilets”
SC: Fucking smart arse.
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Still not at the bar yet.
SC: Excuse me? How do I leave this building?
Me: Same way you came in. Over there.
SC: You don’t need to make me look like an idiot. It’s an easy mistake.
SC’S Friend: Complain to the manager Margaret.
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Walking on to the bar.
SC: Come on you lazy people! Start work and serve me! God! They are so lazy here! Jesus!
I look down the bar and see that everyone is dripping in sweat from running around like idiots.
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Just about to start. Manager walks up to this.
M: You know, I really can’t think straight. I don’t know where I want you guys at the minute.
Me: Well, judging from the state of the floor, I strongly recommend you put one of us serving on the bar and the other on the floor cleaning-
SC: YOU WILL NOT!
M: Excuse me?
SC: LOOK AT THE LINE! YOU CAN’T TAKE SOMEONE AWAY FROM THE BAAAAARRRRR!
M: *Coworker* would you like to do the floor?
CW: Yeah sure.
I started serving. A few minutes later, the SC returned.
SC: SOMEONE NEEDS TO CLEAN MY TABLE! IT’S MESSY!
Me: Look at the line! I can’t take someone away from the bar!
I walked away. I’m not entirely cruel. I sent CW over to clean his table a little while later.
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SC: Excuse me, but what time are you open on Christmas day? The sign says you are closed but *giggles* that has to be a misprint.
Me: No misprint. We are closed on Christmas day.
SC: You’re not even open for breakfast?!?!
Me: No.
SC: Nothing? But I always come here on a Sunday! Where’s the manager??
I didn’t hear what she said, but I saw the manager put his hands up, roll his eyes and turn away from her.
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I went outside to have some fresh air and clear some glasses out of the garden. A woman was stood around smoking a cigarette like Cruella Deville, talking to her friends.
SC: Oh yes, it’s soooo lovely having the Christmas period off. All your hard work finally pays off! But *turns to me* I suppose YOU will be working all the way through! Hahaha!
I didn’t respond, but I called her a bitch under my breath.
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I was working the bar when I heard a co-worker yell “NO NO NO NOOOO!”
I don’t know how he did it, but he somehow dislodged a pipe in the glasswash machine. There was a tidal wave of water down the bar. We had to spend the rest of our shift walking through about an inch of water.
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Watch this video. The magic happens about 20 seconds in.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63rcdLeXiU8
Yeah, that actually happened. There was a difference though. Before I opened the hatch, I tapped the guy on the shoulder and warned him not to lean on it. I opened it, walked off, and then he fell through. He landed in the massive puddle at the end of the bar.
Of course, it was all my fault.
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I walked into the kitchen to go cool off. As I went to walk in, I noticed a customer leaning against the kitchen door.
Me: It’s not a good idea to stand there. When someone walks out that door is going to hit you.
He didn’t respond.
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I hid in the freezer with a co-worker for five minutes. When we walked out, we were shocked to see a customer stood in the kitchen, talking on his phone.
SC: Yes, I can hear you much better now...
CW: Excuse me, you can’t be in here.
The SC turned his back on us, deliberately ignoring us.
CW: Excuse me...
The SC put his finger in his ear to block him out.
ME: OI! GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!!!!!
He turned and ran out the door. CW had his hand over his chest.
CW: Fuck! Customersruinmylife you scared the crap out of me!
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We walked out the kitchen. The door swung open and hit the SC I had warned earlier. He was talking a sip out of his glass, which shattered against his teeth.
Me: Well I did warn you.
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I went to the bar to get the first aid kit. The kitchen SC is complaining to the manager.
SC: There he is! That’s the one that shouted at me!
Me: Oh Jesus.
SC: You know, I really think you should talk to someone. You clearly have anger issues.
Me: I am working a ten hour shift, no break, dealing with several hundred people who quite clearly should never ever touch alcohol. I absolutely have anger issues. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go deal with yet another customer who refused to listen to me.
Manager didn’t say a word to me.
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Here is the big finale. I need to divide it up into parts.
Part One
I noticed Bald Guy wandering around the pub. He seemed to be canvassing everyone, looking for trouble. I know his type. Someone who is desperate for a fight and is walking around looking for the opportunity. I pulled up one of the doormen and told him about my suspicions. Doorman promised to keep an eye on him. Bald guy eventually seemed to vanish. Phew.
Part Two
Two guys started fighting. Red Shirt and Blue Shirt. RS started punching BS after being spat on. At first we weren’t sure if it was serious or not, because they were both smiling. But then BS’s nose exploded, showering people in blood. The doormen jumped in and separated them, while a co-worker ran outside to flag down a passing police van. Because of the large amount of people in the pub, there was a stampede. Some people were trying to run away, some were trying to run and get a better view.
RS was covered in blood. It looked like he had lost a couple of teeth. The doorman has managed to get RS away from the commotion.
Part Three
Bald Guy reappeared. It was like he sprang out of a hole in the ground, because none of us saw him coming. He ran over and punched RS straight between the eyes, shattering his glasses. RS stood up and gave him a single punch back. But it was a good one.
BG was knocked unconscious instantly. He spun around in the spot and landed on the ground, his head missing a table by about an inch. His jaw and cheekbone were shattered.
I thought he was dead. My first thought was “Fuck. Now I have to go to a murder trial.” He was out of it for over 20 minutes. The police arrived about a second later and arrested BS and RS. A co-worker and I ran over and started to clear the area and put him in the recovery position. I still thought he was dead at this point.
An ambulance arrived and began to treat the injured. He was taken away, while the police stayed and collected all of our camera footage and statements. He was awake when they took him. His face was a disaster. Manager turned to me.
M: I think it’s time we called it a night.
Me/All the co-workers: Good idea!
We cleared the pub in seconds. Only the injured stayed (others were hurt in the stampede)
Here is the list of injuries:
Between BG, RS AND BS, there were:
Two broken noses
One set of front teeth knocked out
One smashed cheekbone
One broken jaw
In the stampede:
One broken ankle
Two black eyes.
I guess BG will think twice about fighting! Because he was not involved at all. He jumped in as it was calming down and made it so much worse. He’ll be having Christmas dinner through a straw.
We closed two hours early, and all I say is that we got fucking hammered once we were done. I have a nice Christmas Eve hangover.
Merry Christmas everyone!
M: Hi customersruinmylife, is there any chance you could work a six until close tonight?
Me: I’m already working. I’m doing a three until close.
M: But you were my only hope for cover!
Me: Well there’s not much I can do when I am already working.
M: Great. *click*
Yes. He was annoyed at me for not being available to cover...because I was already working.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I didn’t think it could possibly be worse than last Friday, but it was. A co-worker gave me a ride to work, and we were stunned at what we saw. We expected the pub to be busy, but not THAT busy. The place was jam packed with people. There were people in suits who had clearly finished work for Christmas. There were families who were probably taking their kids out for a “treat” and there were a lot of Christmas shoppers, meaning there were shopping bags everywhere, creating a minefield. The place was also a mess. There were glasses, empty plates and bits of food all over the place. A co-worker who was working the floor mouthed “Help meee!” at us as soon as we walked through the door. She normally wears her hair in a bun. It had all come out of place and it was clear she had been pulling her own hair from stress.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On our way to the bar, we noticed a massive gravy-like smear all over the wall, with several vegetables still stuck to it. I later learned this was from a particularly nasty customer who was upset at our portion sizes. Rather than deal with it like an adult, she threw the plate against the wall.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We’re still not at the bar, and I get stopped.
SC: WHERE ARE THE TOILETS?!?!?! I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR HOURS!!!
Me: *frightened* Just to your left under the giant sign that says “Toilets”
SC: Fucking smart arse.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Still not at the bar yet.
SC: Excuse me? How do I leave this building?
Me: Same way you came in. Over there.
SC: You don’t need to make me look like an idiot. It’s an easy mistake.
SC’S Friend: Complain to the manager Margaret.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Walking on to the bar.
SC: Come on you lazy people! Start work and serve me! God! They are so lazy here! Jesus!
I look down the bar and see that everyone is dripping in sweat from running around like idiots.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just about to start. Manager walks up to this.
M: You know, I really can’t think straight. I don’t know where I want you guys at the minute.
Me: Well, judging from the state of the floor, I strongly recommend you put one of us serving on the bar and the other on the floor cleaning-
SC: YOU WILL NOT!
M: Excuse me?
SC: LOOK AT THE LINE! YOU CAN’T TAKE SOMEONE AWAY FROM THE BAAAAARRRRR!
M: *Coworker* would you like to do the floor?
CW: Yeah sure.
I started serving. A few minutes later, the SC returned.
SC: SOMEONE NEEDS TO CLEAN MY TABLE! IT’S MESSY!
Me: Look at the line! I can’t take someone away from the bar!
I walked away. I’m not entirely cruel. I sent CW over to clean his table a little while later.
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SC: Excuse me, but what time are you open on Christmas day? The sign says you are closed but *giggles* that has to be a misprint.
Me: No misprint. We are closed on Christmas day.
SC: You’re not even open for breakfast?!?!
Me: No.
SC: Nothing? But I always come here on a Sunday! Where’s the manager??
I didn’t hear what she said, but I saw the manager put his hands up, roll his eyes and turn away from her.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I went outside to have some fresh air and clear some glasses out of the garden. A woman was stood around smoking a cigarette like Cruella Deville, talking to her friends.
SC: Oh yes, it’s soooo lovely having the Christmas period off. All your hard work finally pays off! But *turns to me* I suppose YOU will be working all the way through! Hahaha!
I didn’t respond, but I called her a bitch under my breath.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was working the bar when I heard a co-worker yell “NO NO NO NOOOO!”
I don’t know how he did it, but he somehow dislodged a pipe in the glasswash machine. There was a tidal wave of water down the bar. We had to spend the rest of our shift walking through about an inch of water.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Watch this video. The magic happens about 20 seconds in.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63rcdLeXiU8
Yeah, that actually happened. There was a difference though. Before I opened the hatch, I tapped the guy on the shoulder and warned him not to lean on it. I opened it, walked off, and then he fell through. He landed in the massive puddle at the end of the bar.
Of course, it was all my fault.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I walked into the kitchen to go cool off. As I went to walk in, I noticed a customer leaning against the kitchen door.
Me: It’s not a good idea to stand there. When someone walks out that door is going to hit you.
He didn’t respond.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hid in the freezer with a co-worker for five minutes. When we walked out, we were shocked to see a customer stood in the kitchen, talking on his phone.
SC: Yes, I can hear you much better now...
CW: Excuse me, you can’t be in here.
The SC turned his back on us, deliberately ignoring us.
CW: Excuse me...
The SC put his finger in his ear to block him out.
ME: OI! GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!!!!!
He turned and ran out the door. CW had his hand over his chest.
CW: Fuck! Customersruinmylife you scared the crap out of me!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We walked out the kitchen. The door swung open and hit the SC I had warned earlier. He was talking a sip out of his glass, which shattered against his teeth.
Me: Well I did warn you.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I went to the bar to get the first aid kit. The kitchen SC is complaining to the manager.
SC: There he is! That’s the one that shouted at me!
Me: Oh Jesus.
SC: You know, I really think you should talk to someone. You clearly have anger issues.
Me: I am working a ten hour shift, no break, dealing with several hundred people who quite clearly should never ever touch alcohol. I absolutely have anger issues. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go deal with yet another customer who refused to listen to me.
Manager didn’t say a word to me.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here is the big finale. I need to divide it up into parts.
Part One
I noticed Bald Guy wandering around the pub. He seemed to be canvassing everyone, looking for trouble. I know his type. Someone who is desperate for a fight and is walking around looking for the opportunity. I pulled up one of the doormen and told him about my suspicions. Doorman promised to keep an eye on him. Bald guy eventually seemed to vanish. Phew.
Part Two
Two guys started fighting. Red Shirt and Blue Shirt. RS started punching BS after being spat on. At first we weren’t sure if it was serious or not, because they were both smiling. But then BS’s nose exploded, showering people in blood. The doormen jumped in and separated them, while a co-worker ran outside to flag down a passing police van. Because of the large amount of people in the pub, there was a stampede. Some people were trying to run away, some were trying to run and get a better view.
RS was covered in blood. It looked like he had lost a couple of teeth. The doorman has managed to get RS away from the commotion.
Part Three
Bald Guy reappeared. It was like he sprang out of a hole in the ground, because none of us saw him coming. He ran over and punched RS straight between the eyes, shattering his glasses. RS stood up and gave him a single punch back. But it was a good one.
BG was knocked unconscious instantly. He spun around in the spot and landed on the ground, his head missing a table by about an inch. His jaw and cheekbone were shattered.
I thought he was dead. My first thought was “Fuck. Now I have to go to a murder trial.” He was out of it for over 20 minutes. The police arrived about a second later and arrested BS and RS. A co-worker and I ran over and started to clear the area and put him in the recovery position. I still thought he was dead at this point.
An ambulance arrived and began to treat the injured. He was taken away, while the police stayed and collected all of our camera footage and statements. He was awake when they took him. His face was a disaster. Manager turned to me.
M: I think it’s time we called it a night.
Me/All the co-workers: Good idea!
We cleared the pub in seconds. Only the injured stayed (others were hurt in the stampede)
Here is the list of injuries:
Between BG, RS AND BS, there were:
Two broken noses
One set of front teeth knocked out
One smashed cheekbone
One broken jaw
In the stampede:
One broken ankle
Two black eyes.
I guess BG will think twice about fighting! Because he was not involved at all. He jumped in as it was calming down and made it so much worse. He’ll be having Christmas dinner through a straw.
We closed two hours early, and all I say is that we got fucking hammered once we were done. I have a nice Christmas Eve hangover.
Merry Christmas everyone!
)
I'm so glad you have a bit of leeway when talking to the SCs in your pub because they are insufferable. Put your feet up and enjoy your Christmas!
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