attention home shoppers!!

[myswtghst]

I think I've told this story before, but my last name is very simple. It's 6 letters long, and it is a common word in the English language. There is only one way to spell it. People still ask us how. My brother, while in high school, decided to have some fun with the school nurse.

Matt-My brother
Nurse

Nurse: And your last name?
Matt: *Common 6-letter adjective*
Nurse: And how do you spell that?
Matt: K-O-P-O-D
Nurse: (writes this down) Oh wait...that can't be right.
Matt: I was kidding.

It's a long running family joke now.

My name? It's Leslie. I respond to Lindsay, Lauren, Elizabeth, and a few other names, especially in the call center.

[GyroKat]

Oh the horror of spelling names... My name used to be rather special, Dixø. (I've changed it and I'm using my father's last name instead now, which isn't much easier though since it's an Italian name)

List of misspellings:

Dicksø
Dickø
Dikcø
Dixsø
Dicksoe
Dixsoe
Divø (?!)

And probably lots more... And that's despite the fact that I ALWAYS spelled it out since I knew it was weird!

[Queen Kitty]

if you have ordered with us before, we have you name and address on file...we dont type it in everytime. so if you have shopped with us before, you dont have to spell it, just say it...thats what i meant!!! yes, the first time that you order with us, you may have to spell it...but from then on, you just have to verify it. but hey, no harm done!!! peace out yall!!!

[zzapp the witch]

How many ways are there to spell Jennifer?

6 apparently.

I gave up a long time ago. As long as what I pay for makes it to my address, I don't care anymore. Had one gal complain about how my name didn't match the name on my card, told her, "Yeah, no matter how hard I try, you guys haven't been able to get it right for over a year." She just changed it to match the card. Finally!

[Sacknahalf05]

::Hugs Kitty::

I understand, I really do. I deal with EVERY point of contention you listed just about every day. It makes me wonder, do we work in the same place? Granted, there's lots of dumb people, and a few home shopping places, but the $20 dollar 2-carat diamond ring is so TOTALLY my company lol!

[CherryB]

ALSO, IF YOUR BABY IS CRYING, TAKE CARE OF IT INSTEAD OF ORDERING FROM US!!! YOU MAY THINK ITS PRECIOUS, BUT TO US, ITS A SCREAMING POOP BOMB IN OUR EAR!!!

ROFLMAO....This is soo true. Gad I hate that.

[HYHYBT]

How do you pronounce the letter ø, anyway?

[KatL]

I'm going to take this opportunity to rant because OMG, eveything you said goes through my head countless times every day. I work at a callcenter that takes orders for about 100 catalogs and many of the worthless products that are offered on late night infomercials so I know EXACTLY what you're talking about.

please have your credit card ready <--- Why DON'T they have it ready? It's as if it's a surprise to them when we ask for it, like maybe they had no idea you'd needed to PAY for an order. Sheesh!

do not interrupt us while we do our greeting <--- This irritates me to no end. What I do now when they interupt me is stop talking and when they shut up go on from exactly where I left off.

"Thank you for calling this is KatL ho...."

"I want to place an order."

"...w can I help you?"

please do not go into detail about your personal life <--- Once an old lady told me a 40 minute story about how back in the day her husband had cheated on her with women all the time and he'd come home late and she was worried that he'd gotten in a wreck so she told him to fix up the basement as a love nest and take his women down there because she wasn't about to give him a divorce while the kids were little. That worked great until one of his women decided she wanted him for good and shot the wife in the head. Blah blah she was never supposed to walk again but praise be she CAN walk. HELP ME!

if we say that an item is sold out...dont question us <--- As if for fun, we like to randomly tell people it's no longer available. Or maybe there's one SOMEWHERE. Can we go look?

if you have ordered with us before, you do not need to spell out every little detail <--- In our case we don't have any customer info and have to ask for it every time. SO many people freak out about this. "But I order all the time. I have spent a lot of money with you!" They argue about why when they're soooooo important they have to give their info, for longer than it would have taken to simply give the info!

turn your tv down when you call in <--- When someone calls and there's some kinda noise blaring in the background it pisses me off and I lower my voice. They always tell me I need to speak up so I say in the same tone, "Is this better?" When they say no I tell them perhaps they could turn down the TV/radio.

and you dont have the item number or any other additional info on it, do not expect us to know what in the hell you are talking about <--- I love it when I ask for an item number and they give me the page number. I ask again and they tell me the color. I ask again and they tell me it's in the upper right corner of that page. I ask again and they remain silent because "item number" seems to be a foreign language. I ask again and they tell me there isn't one. I tell them it's the big, bold black number right next to the item that says "item number". Oh, they say. THAT number. Well, I didn't know you meant the item number

if we say to give an item 2 weeks to ship...dont call in the next day wondering why it hasnt arrived <--- Mmmm hmmm *takes deep breath*

also, dont get mad if you want to cancel something you ordered 2 days ago <--- They want crap to arrive yesterday unless they want to cancel it and then they freak out because we shipped it out so soon. WHAT?

we have millions of customers. dont expect me to know who you are <--- I love when someone says for instance: Hi this is Mary from Dr. Whatsits office. GREEEEEAT! I don't have a clue who the hell you are!

DO NOT EAT, BLOW YOUR NOSE, SNIFF, BREATHE HEAVY, OR USE THE BATHROOM ON THE PHONE!!! <--- Amen, amen, amen. Do they not know what it sounds like to listen to someone eat over the phone? Ewww.

please have an i.q. bigger than your bra size before you even attempt to call in. <--- I once had a lady who was ordering a hat. An older lady. She didn't know what size she needed so I gave her the measurements. To make a long story short, she said she didn't have a clue how many inches her head was around nor how she could find out. So I had to explain to her that she needed to get a measuring tape and explain step by step how to wrap it around her head to get the measurement. She put the phone down and pretty soon in the background I hear this "tink, tink" sound. It was a metal measuring tape. All the while she's wailing, "Ohhhh myyyy, ohhhhh dearrrr!" After a while she yells out near tears, "Ok, I think I'm a small but you're going to have to wait because somehow I've got all tangled up in this thing!" IQ = smaller than bra size. Sigh.

***

Drakstern: See, I always love it when people spell the easy name and neglect to spell the hard one. <--- I know huh? WTF is up with that?

Pagan, I get called names that aren't even close to my name. I don't know where they come up with them.

As you can see this post touched a nerve.

*twitch*

I'm done now

[GyroKat]

How do you pronounce the letter ø, anyway?

You don't. At least not if you're an English-speaker. Ø is actually "oe" written in one, but every time I've tried to teach English people to say it, they make a sort of "eurgh" sound as if they're throwing up...