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Stating the obvious.

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  • Stating the obvious.

    I think the numpties were out in force in my village this afternoon.

    We are in the process of havign a new shop front fitted. Today the glazing men turned up.

    Now, if you stand outside a shop and watch a team of 8 fellas removing the cracked/damaged window glass, see 2 vans with foot high lettering on the side reading "West Yorkshire Glazing" and then watch the men unloading new panes of glass from the vans, do you really really need to walk into the shop and say "What are they doing?"

    After the 17th person i started replying either "I don;t know - they just turned up" or "Tony Blair has announced that rates are calculated by glass size so we are having the windows made smaller".
    Good customers are as rare as Latinum. Treasure them. ~ The 57th Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition.

  • #2
    Oh, the fun I had after the newsagent next to us was ram-raided...

    The builders doing the temporary repairs before the main work had erected wooden boarding to cover the broken glass and brickwork. An incredible number of people came in to us, each one clutching a newspaper or other item bought in that shop, and asked if they'd been ramraided.

    "Nah, it's a more environmentally friendly conservatory. None of that UPVC to stay in the ground without rotting for generations for him - his is biodegradeable!"

    "Some of his paperboys have had their bikes stolen from out front, so he's put that there so they can hide them."

    "A new study proved that UV radiation can fade newsprint faster than anything else. It's to make sure your papers are fresher than they would be from other, inferior newsagents."

    I got inventive. People believed me.

    Mwahahahaha!

    Rapscallion

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    • #3
      So, um, what were they doing?

      *ducks and runs*
      I don't go in for ancient wisdom
      I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
      It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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      • #4
        I must have had some of those same customers in the Marshall's I used to work at!
        Not long before I left for greener pastures, the store was being renovated.
        I wish I had a nickel for every time someone asked me, "You guys remodeling?"
        "Uh, no, ma'am. That noise you hear from behind the black curtain is a new industrial band. This is their rendition of 'Begin The Beguine'."
        ~~*

        "No! You can take the kids, but you leave me my monkey." - WALK HARD: THE DEWEY COX STORY

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        • #5
          Quoth Demonoid Phenomenon View Post
          I wish I had a nickel for every time someone asked me, "You guys remodeling?"
          Maybe that's why some stores put up those "excuse our appearance while we are remodeling" signs...to keep the SQs (stupid questions) at bay...
          I don't go in for ancient wisdom
          I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
          It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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          • #6
            No! We DID have those signs up!
            Several in fact!

            But you know SCs and signs...
            ~~*

            "No! You can take the kids, but you leave me my monkey." - WALK HARD: THE DEWEY COX STORY

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            • #7
              :shakes head sadly: *sigh*
              Last edited by BookstoreEscapee; 03-01-2007, 10:52 PM. Reason: put my smileys in the wrong order
              I don't go in for ancient wisdom
              I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
              It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth Demonoid Phenomenon View Post
                This is their rendition of 'Begin The Beguine'."
                I think Sebastian may have something to discuss with these people...
                And, what the heck is ramraiding?
                "I call murder on that!"

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                • #9
                  Steal a car. Drive it into the front of a shop - through the security grille. In the next twenty or thirty seconds, you and your mates get in and grab anything valuable and easy to carry (cigs a speciality, as are drugs and jewelry). Scarper in a different stolen vehicle before the police get there.

                  Rapscallion

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                  • #10
                    Ah hah. And here, I thought it was a military procedure, or something... maybe FBI, highly covert, whatever it is...
                    "I call murder on that!"

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                    • #11
                      Well, I never heard of the numpties before (or ramraiding, for that matter) but I guess I had one of them today too. I'm going over different binder selections with a rather clueless customer (CC), when we have this exchange -

                      CC: So the Antique Vinyl is vinyl?
                      Me (unsure whether to laugh or cry) Yes, the Antique Vinyl is vinyl.
                      "Full price for gum?! That dog won't hunt, monsignor." - Philip J. Fry

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Juwl View Post
                        maybe FBI, highly covert, whatever it is...
                        Actually, I think that's the exact opposite of highly covert!
                        I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to change what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference -Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes

                        Being a pessimist and cynical wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't right so often!

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                        • #13
                          I love it when customers do this, the loss of brain cells I don't love.

                          Was working the party venue, at the dirt road entrance where you go left for VIP and right for General. The sign we put up says General, we're trained to say general, this is what I get: "Hello there, are you looking for VIP or General parking?"
                          "Uh, I'm just looking for regular not general." He said in a very clueless voice. Not understanding that regular and general are the same meanings but different words.

                          Got this working boxing a few months ago, happened at Whiskeyclone.

                          "Excuse me, is this the Whiskeyclone?"
                          (Bear in mind that they are inside the lot, there is a HUGE marquee with bright letters advertising Whiskeyclone, an arena that is on TV constantly and they are getting a GREAT view of it.)
                          "Uh, yes this is." (My poor brain cells and it went on)
                          "And boxing is going on tonight right?" (Marquee people, look at the damn marquee.)
                          "Yes."
                          "Okay cool thanks."

                          I lost braincells just remembering that.
                          The Grand Galactic Inquisitor hears all and sees all.

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                          • #14
                            That noise you hear from behind the black curtain is a new industrial band. This is their rendition of 'Begin The Beguine'."
                            "Well they're not very good then, it should sound like this..."

                            "Uh, I'm just looking for regular not general." He said in a very clueless voice. Not understanding that regular and general are the same meanings but different words.
                            They probably had you confused with the Pentagon and, not being generals...
                            Now the trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed.

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