Lying to me about your car getting towed...

[Raveni]

...won't get your car back any faster. Or cheaper.

So, one of my job perks duties is to issue warnings for people who are parked in a community without having the proper permit and then tow them if they continue to park there.

One bright guy comes to my office (by taxi) after his ride has been Argabarga'd:

BG: I need to know if someone towed my car or if it was stolen.
Me: Did you call the police? If it was towed, they would be notified.
BG: No. What's their number?
Me: 911
BG: I'm not calling 911 to see if my car was stolen. You guys towed it.

Me: Okay, well if you already know that, why are you here asking me if it was towed instead of at the tow yard picking it up?
BG: You can't tow my car. It's illegal because I live there. (I can't? Your car has already been towed...)
Me: If there isn't a permit on the car, it gets tagged and towed.
BG: I have a permit.
Me: It wasn't on the car.
BG: Yes it was.
Me: Here is the picture taken when your car was tagged. There is no permit visible.

BG: Why did you put a sticker on my window? That's illegal too.
Me: If there is no permit, it gets tagged. Usually, this leads to people correcting the problem or calling us to ask how to avoid getting towed.
BG: Well, I'm not cleaning the sticker off.
Me: Okay.
BG: I want you to clean it up, or pay to clean my car.
Me: We don't pay to clean the cars that we tag for parking without a permit. It comes off with water and is a lot better than the alternative, since very few people ignore a sticker on their window and let their car get towed.

BG: But it's still illegal to put stickers on windows. That's vandalism.
Me: Are you a lawyer?
BG: No, but I know the law! (Really?)
Me: Well, I'll take our lawyer's advice about towing cars, and not from the person giving out free legal advice without a license.

[Argabarga]

Cool, I am officially a verb!

Whenever someone claims something I have done is "illegal" I invite them to call the cops and file a report. Only 1 person ever did, the cops told them to stop wasting their time.

[dalesys]

I'd rather be Argabarga'd than Gravekeeper'd...


...since the second would entail being bundled onto a dogsled, exchanged for many, many musk ox hooves, and being parted out around the village as pants, hats and polar bear decoy.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Cool, I am officially a verb!

Whenever someone claims something I have done is "illegal" I invite them to call the cops and file a report. Only 1 person ever did, the cops told them to stop wasting their time.

Yes, you are!

Copy-pasting from another thread---

argabarga (ar-gah-BAR-gah) v.
1. to tow a vehicle, esp. one that has been illegally parked.
ex. "I went inside for five minutes and someone argabarga'd my car!"

From the onomatopoeia for the sounds and noises the owner or driver of the vehicle makes after discovering the absence of said vehicle, esp. to the person(s) responsible for towing it. Popular culture also holds that the term is derived from a screen-name on certain Internet message boards, of an employee of a towing company, who often related anecdotes related to his job.

[rose_metal_nz]

BG: But it's still illegal to put stickers on windows. That's vandalism.
Me: Are you a lawyer?
BG: No, but I know the law! (Really?)
Me: Well, I'll take our lawyer's advice about towing cars, and not from the person giving out free legal advice without a license.

Beautifully said

[sms001]

BG: You can't tow my car. .... (I can't? Your car has already been towed...)

pwnd.

Me: Here is the picture taken when your car was tagged. There is no permit visible.

x 2.

BG: No, but I know the law! (Really?)
Me: Well, I'll take our lawyer's advice about towing cars, and not from the person giving out free legal advice without a license.

annnnnnnnddddd..... the hat trick. Nicely played Rav.

As for that last line, I have GOT to get back into a business with a closet full of lawyers just so I can use it.

[fireheart]

Yes, you are!

Copy-pasting from another thread---

argabarga (ar-gah-BAR-gah) v.
1. to tow a vehicle, esp. one that has been illegally parked.
ex. "I went inside for five minutes and someone argabarga'd my car!"

From the onomatopoeia for the sounds and noises the owner or driver of the vehicle makes after discovering the absence of said vehicle, esp. to the person(s) responsible for towing it. Popular culture also holds that the term is derived from a screen-name on certain Internet message boards, of an employee of a towing company, who often related anecdotes related to his job.

So I wonder what the dictionary definition of being Lupo'd is.

[dalesys]

So I wonder what the dictionary definition of being Lupo'd is.

Well...

Blas'd: Being thwapped into a near-death experience with radishes.

Praise the FSM for unlimited regurgitations resurrections.

[EricKei]

So I wonder what the dictionary definition of being Lupo'd is.

...Ugh. Now I'm doing my best to NOT think about what it might mean to be dalesys'd or sheldonrs'd >_> As I'm fairly certain that (a) they would be NSFW and (b) I'm really better off not knowing.

*repeats "they mean 'epic pun war'" over and over in his head*

[dalesys]

...Ugh. Now I'm doing my best to NOT think about what it might mean to be dalesys'd or sheldonrs'd ...

To quote a Tom Paxton penned ode: Mr. Blue - Clear Light...
... it can be arranged ....


ETA: That song was my motivational music for high school.

[Syriilord]

Lupo'd: To be unwantedly assaulted with all manner of crazy stupid while performing mundane routine tasks outside of one's home. Possibly followed up with traffic-injury related close calls.

E.g.: I went shopping yesterday and got Lupo'd twice before I'd finished crossing the parking lot.

[fireheart]

Sheldonr'd....to have one's mind immediately spring to the gutter upon any innocent event.

For example: I was sheldonr'd when I saw the words "penal colony" in a textbook

[Raveni]

As for that last line, I have GOT to get back into a business with a closet full of lawyers just so I can use it.

It's nice, but they are expensive.

About 50% of people stop arguing when they realize that I'm the boss so it isn't a case of "your guy's word against mine". I always believe in myself.


About 50% of people stop arguing when they realize that I always take pictures, so I can just send that picture to police/judge/mommy or whoever else they try to convince they are being picked on.

The others just keep forging down that path of "no common sense" (I mean, they already got their car towed a FULL DAY after getting the warning sticker) and need a stern letter from an attorney to finally figure out that they should cut their losses and drop it.

This guy was definitely being Blas'd by his girlfriend for having to take her home in a taxi before coming to see me. I hope he gets Lupo'd on his way to get his car (not likely because he just called another taxi, but I can hope). I wouldn't want anyone to be Sheldonr'd at a tow yard.

[Shalom]

This guy was definitely being Blas'd by his girlfriend for having to take her home in a taxi before coming to see me.

Doesn't always mean anything. My brother was on a date with a girl he'd just been set up with, they came out of the restaurant to find his car had been Argabarga'd by the City of New York. He took her in a taxi to my parents' house in Brooklyn, borrowed his father's car to take the girl back home to Jersey, and then went and dealt with getting his car back from the impound.

She married him anyway. Said she was impressed with how calmly he handled the whole thing...