Seriously- over a POOL game???

[SmileyBouncer]

It was a pretty relaxed night at the bar, I was standing at the door checking IDs when this short muscular hefty woman in leather chaps (our SC for the story) came thundering up with a couple sleazy friends. Right away I thought she was bad news. When she was inside she whipped out a CD that she apparently made and demanded that the DJ stop their entire set to play it for the bar. This is obscene to begin with but what made it even worse ---On the cover of the CD was a really bad photo of SC – in the chaps- by a motorcycle with blonde women on either side. I kid you not! She was marketing herself this way! So manager grabbed the cd and set it behind the bar. This appeased the woman for the moment, and the CD came in handy later.

After SC and her greasy friends had several drinks and got really rowdy I decided to tail them so I would be right there if SC did something stupid. She left her group and pushed her way downstairs to the pool table and SLAPPED two quarters down- aggressively staking her challenge against the winner of the game being played. The game being played just happened to be between a really tough girl who worked at the bar but was off-shift, and her date. They had been almost done with the game and, being that nobody was around, had already placed their quarters on-deck so they could play together again- SC obviously didn’t notice.. ohboy
Let’s call my friend who was off-duty “TG” for Tough Girl
“AB” is my fellow bouncer- (AB stands for Amateur Boxer/ who had incidentally already informed SC she wouldn’t be doing any more shots) yeah this gets fun.

TG: Hey, sorry man we were gonna play just one more
SC: No yer NOT I put my quarters DOWN!
TG: (really nice about it) We did too *points to rightful quarter mount*, you’re just one after us we’ll be fast
SC: (charges up to TG aggressively and blurbs insults)
TG: (brandishes pool cue in front of her body defensively like WTF?)

At this point I bolted over and wedged my right arm between the two of them and kept my body aside. I don’t think SC even knew I was there she was so spitting mad all of a sudden (maybe because we hadn’t played her cd yet!! Ha!). TG of course knew what was up and unfortunately MILKED anger out of SC knowing that I would separate them anyway.
SC: (insults and threats)
TG: (Equal array of insults- now holding cue stick more confidently)
TG: (had enough) What the FUCK- who are you anyway?
I guess it rubbed SC’s wannabe celebrity ego wrong because at that point I felt SC lunge at TG(hahah she didn’t feel my arm there!) I hooked her hard and hauled her back towards the door, tripping her over my feet and guiding her to the floor into a suplex (brains over brawn baby). Once I had her WELL pinned I then informed her that she would need to leave the bar immediately or police would be notified . She looked up at me all flustered and agreed. Mind you this woman was short but she was beefy she must have been TWICE my size! I’m sure she was shocked to see the SmileyBouncer on top of her all of a sudden! AB came over to help me get SC up while we used our bodies to corral her to the door. As soon as SC looked up she recognized AB as being the one who denied her a shot earlier – AB was still busy helping this woman up and SC DECKED AB hard in the jaw! I couldn’t believe it! Bar fights are common but going straight for a guard is just rare and stupid!

So in effort to basically now save this horrible SC’s LIFE and prevent a bloodbath because AB would have ripped – I mean ripped- this womans head off and spit down her throat- I had to take SC down again fast before AB could get to her! This time I pulled her OUT the door, took her down the same way but couldn’t get a pin. She tried to lunge up forward on me right after she hit the ground and I met her head with the blade/butt of my hand- clocked her hard and square in the forehead. I thank my ex-roomie of the White Dragon Kung Fu School for that move. Anyway- knocked her out clean in the blink of an eye. She flopped right back down like a pile of sh*t in the doorway and stopped moving entirely.

It honestly scared the *** out of me. The move I used on her is designed to hit the chest- it's a killing strike. I used it on her HEAD. The first thing I did was call 911, I was afraid I may have done some serious damage to SC and I was thankful she was breathing. I was on the phone with the dispatcher for 10 or 15 minutes (they keep you on the line until help arrives) when SC started moving again (I was actually thankful for that). Her friends came down. I advised them not to touch her as she could be in bad shape and police were on their way. Of course they responded with panic and tried to rush this lump of SC to their old beat up diesel Mercedes. I followed them to read the plate # to the 911 dispatcher as they tried to make a speedy getaway. Other guards surrounded the car. The engine cranked.
Cranked.
Cranked.

Black smoke came out the back with a sputter. Their getaway car wouldn’t start! 4 or 5 times they tried to turn that engine over in a hurry and it just sputtered and died. I was so excited that they might not get away at all! It was getting ridiculous- but alas the thing finally started and off they went!

By the time the cops showed up the SCs were well on the freeway- but not the CD! Complete with a picture of her and contact info. (which came in handy for the cops when AB’s molar fell out the next day)
I don’t think AB ever did press charges though (total rip-off). I think it hurt her pride a little bit, taking a sucker punch that way. I donno I would have loved to see justice come from that. At least I gave SC a good week's worth of headache.

Anyway the moral is : DO NOT POKE/PUNCH THE BOUNCER! And remember how pool is supposed to be fun, kids- not bloody.

[Greenday]

It's not even like she lost a game of pool for cash. Alls that happened was she had to wait. What a moron. And not only does she hit someone, she hits someone who works there. Stupidity has no end for some people.

[ominousoat]

The only thing worse than an out of control celebrity is an out of control no-name wanna-be celebrity.

[chainedbarista]

i'm liking the left behind cd with her contact info; sheerly priceless!

[SmileyBouncer]

i'm liking the left behind cd with her contact info; sheerly priceless!

That's right she planted her own demise right there! On top of that- nobody will ever hear the CD because it's tagged as evidence in some police closet.

[repsac]

I heard this one second hand, but it's worth passing on. Ended up being rather funny, though I'm told at the time the "target" wasn't laughing.


The story goes that there's a bar fight going on, and this fellow with his own stick was trying his best to stay OUT of the way. Hiding somewhat in a corner, a few people who were of the same mind, noticed that this guy started messing with the end of his two part stick and just stood there.

A few seconds later, one of the larger fellows (brandishing a knife or bottle, or weapon of some sort) procedes to approach this guy. The guy with the cue stood his ground and then suddenly snapped his wrist down. Most thought he'd hit the guy over the head with the cue, since the guy with the weapon just staggered about drunkedly for a second before collapsing in a heap.

The police later sorted out that the guy with the pool cue had removed the end of his stick, and that flick wasn't him hitting the guy with it; but rather causing the lead weight in it to fly out like a bullet. No charges were filed because of the weapon the "target" had, but they (the police) did note that in any other case the guy with the stick would have faced some serious charges.

I'm told, the guy that got hit never did talk right after that.

[ArenaBoy]

She tried to lunge up forward on me right after she hit the ground and I met her head with the blade/butt of my hand- clocked her hard and square in the forehead. I thank my ex-roomie of the White Dragon Kung Fu School for that move. Anyway- knocked her out clean in the blink of an eye. She flopped right back down like a pile of sh*t in the doorway and stopped moving entirely.

It honestly scared the *** out of me. The move I used on her is designed to hit the chest- it's a killing strike. I used it on her HEAD.

Zounds! If you were properly trained you would've committed overkill right there. I took Goju-Ryu karate for 5 years and the blade/butt of your hand is one of the most effective parts of your body you could ever use along with your palm heel as that can break a nose in one solid hit. I loved the story, idiocy is often fun to watch collapse.

[Decker]

That was quite an epic tale! She sounded like she was full of herself and needed her pride deflated a little.

[Mr. Crow]

Ok, how many other jobs let you hit a SC? Well, besides law enforcment. Did I mention I have a brother in law who loves his job as a cop?

[Becks]

Do they have rumbles over skee ball and air hockey?

[MadRocketScientist]

And before one of the mods says it, yes, we know, violence is never advocated or condoned ;-)

[MadMike]

And before one of the mods says it, yes, we know, violence is never advocated or condoned ;-)

Only unnecessary violence. Necessary violence, such as self-defense, is a completely different story.

[Gurndigarn]

Do they have rumbles over skee ball and air hockey?

Nah. You only get halfhearted bitch slapping over skeeball. Air hockey can get all the way up to serious pushing.

Pinball, now, that's when the knives and guns appear.

[counterjockey]

See, this here? This is why I don't do the bar scene. I work at a gas station, where part of my responsibilities at times include refusing to sell beer or smokes to people without id or to people who are barely standing (more for the beer than the smokes in that case, I'll grant.)

Also, I haven't exactly endeared myself to a number of SCs who want to a.)scam more prepaid phone minutes, b.)cash checks (we don't do that, we haven't ever done that, and the day somebody from corporate says we do is the day I walk without notice) c.)scam returns, i.e., even if you did buy that pack of cigs here yesterday, if I see you pull it out of your cleavage I'm not returning it. No no no no no no no... d.)hand me bags of cans to count while they go around and put half my goddamn store in their pockets. ("You want me to count your cans? I want you to pound sand.") or e.)be monkeyshit. For any reason. For no reason at all, sometimes. Gets to be a fun job some days, can ya tell?

Needless to say, these people hang out in bars. Days at a time sometimes. When I'm not working, I avoid the hell out of them by reading books, driving a car with a current license, registration, and insurance, and generally being sober during daylight hours. All of these are activities many of my customers can't/won't do.

[/bitterness]

[Becks]

Pinball, now, that's when the knives and guns appear.

"Too bad...I liked Pinball."

Hee hee...movie quote.