Pregnancy, children, and their irrelevance in my line of work (language)

[veniteangeli]

Standard disclaimer: I do not hate children. I hate bad parenting, I hate a LACK of parenting, and I hate the mentality that parents are oh, so special because they had kids and I didn't. They're not better than me, we've just made different life choices. And it's not their kid's fault that their parents are jerks.

That said...

Suck the First - Wherein your choices don't exempt you from the law
I really don't give two short shits that your grotesquely swollen belly makes it "hard for you to get closer to the table". The law states that your cards have to remain over the table at all times. This is to prevent cheating, fraud, collusion, and all other sorts of fun things that are, idk, illegal. So no, you can't just sit back and rest your cards on your stomach. You don't get a free pass because you chose to get knocked up. You have arms - stretch them out and use them if you're really so limited by the size of your belly. Or, I don't know, save the casino trip for when you're not eighteen months pregnant? Either way, if you want to play, then you have to follow the damn rules just like everyone else.

Suck the Second - Wherein my personal life is none of your damn business
The only reason you know my NAME is because I'm required by law to wear it on a namebadge. Were I not required to wear it, I wouldn't. I don't want to tell you my name, how old I am, where I'm from, or anything else about me. I have an accent? Well bully for me, now can you just focus on the damn game?

What's that? You're asking if I'm single? Married? Seeing anyone? Do I have kids? Let me stop you right there. First of all, while I can appreciate that you're at least acknowledging that I'm a human and not some automaton plugged into the table to deal the cards, all of this stuff is incredibly personal and none of your business. Secondly, I realize you have no way of knowing this, but the "kids" thing is a hot button topic for me. I have a lot of very strong opinions on parents, their stupidity, and why the majority of kids today are whining illiterates who expect the world handed to them on a silver platter. I choose not to air those views at work, because they have no bearing on the job I'm here to do.

So when I shut you down with a polite "No, I don't have children, would you like to hit or stay", that's not your cue to start interrogating me. One day? Would I like kids one day? Why don't I want kids? Do I hate kids? Well, when I meet the right guy, I'll want kids (never mind that a) I only date women and b) if SHE is really the right WOMAN, then she'll respect that I don't want any, and most likely won't want any either). Well, I'll change my mind when I'm older (I'm not twelve and rebelling against parents that just don't understand, I'm twenty seven and resent the implication that I'm too stupid to know my own mind). Why I even gave you as much as "No, I don't have children" is my latest and greatest regret.

Why are you still talking? Can you not see that I'm about three seconds away from picking up this very heavy, very expensive shuffling machine and smashing it over your head? MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND KEEP THE FUCK OUT OF MINE.

Disclaimer 2: I don't hold it against anyone who has, is having, or wants to have kids in the future. I just get resentful when people either try to push their choices on me, or try to make me deal with the consequences of the choices they've made. That's all I have nieces and nephews that I adore. I swear I don't hate kids - I just don't want any. Please don't tell me I'll change my mind, even in jest. That's incredibly offensive to me, hence the making of this post! lol

[Mishi]

There's nothing wrong with being childfree, it's a valid choice and more importantly it's your choice to make.

And no, being pregnant doesn't give you any extra rights. Besides, why would anyone want to be in a noisy, busy casino when they're heavily pregnant? So many people, so much noise, uncomfortable seats, not many menu choices... It wouldn't be on my list of places to go. Then again, I do have un-commonsense.

[qwerty]

I have been pregnant twice. I know that there are some things that become more difficult and accommodation may sometimes be necessary. However, CHOOSING to go somewhere for fun and expecting to be allowed to break the rules is just silly. More so when those rules are in place to prevent cheating in a casino.

I went to a dueling piano bar when I was 7 months along with my first. I knew going in that a) I could not drink and b) it will be crowded. I made the choice and I dealt with the consequences. I had to stand the entire night because the seats were full with many reservations that were made well in advance. Did my back and feet hurt afterwards? Yes. Did I have a good time? Hell yes! Did I ask/demand that the employees find me a seat because I am pregnant? NO. I would never ask to have another customer removed from a seat for me. It is not the same type of situation as needing accommodation to perform job duties. It's optional.

[Mamochan]

Well we do have the abbreviation EW for a reason. Too many people think that they deserve special treatment for whatever thing makes them feel "special." in this case even though 10% of the women in the us can fall into this category they want special treatment. Further in Las Vegas 37 million people visited the city in 2010, estimating 50% mix male/female, 18.5 Million women... playing with stats further we could claim 1.85 million of them were pregnant at some stage. Heck how many cheaters would LOVE an exception to the rules that they can exploit. make a super accurate body suit and go around claiming to be pregnant so they can cheat.

my stats are probably making too many presumptions about the data, but that is what they do in marketing so why not here

[Evandril]

Not excusing the idiots, but after seeing wave after wave of young Airman *swear* that they are never going to do 'x'...Only to see them blissfully doing 'x' within the year, I know I'll do a mental eyeroll when I hear 'Oh, I'm never doing 'x'!' Of course, key words there are 'mental' and 'eyeroll', rather than mentioning how I feel. Of course, if they give this information without prompting, mentions of betting pools are fairly common

And NOT saying you fall into that catagory, just a default reaction to 'Oh, I'm never doing 'x'!'. Don't you wish they had a personal question fee you could add to your tip? Every question answered that didn't have to do with your work adds 1% to the tip, and makes it manditory

[blondemarmot]

The few customers/random strangers who have asked me when or if I have children get told a long, horrific story of why I cannot have children. And while it's not true to me, I do have my friend's permission to use her situation to shut people up. Awkward blissful silence ensues.

[XCashier]

I hate the mentality that parents are oh, so special because they had kids and I didn't....MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND KEEP THE FUCK OUT OF MINE.

It has nothing to do with kids or lack of, it has everything to do with being too nosy for one's own good! There is no reason to play Twenty Questions with the employee! Yes, it's nice that you see her as a fellow human being, but she's got a job to do at the moment and you're holding her up with questions that really aren't any of your business and you won't remember anyway five minutes later!

If it makes you feel any better, I am a mother and I still have to deal with self-righteous parents who think their crap and that of their children smells like roses. Being a parent myself doesn't make it any easier to deal with these Princess Mommies and their laissez-faire parenting.

[BlaqueKatt]

There is no reason to play Twenty Questions with the employee! Yes, it's nice that you see her as a fellow human being, but she's got a job to do at the moment and you're holding her up with questions that really aren't any of your business and you won't remember anyway five minutes later!

whatever happened to the nice but not very intrusive "how's your day been?"
It's polite, and can be a short answer(fine, good, can't complain), or a long one(great, just got my pet frog waxed and polished, he's really shiny, next time I'm thinking of getting him shellacked!), depending on the situation, time constraints, and comfort level between the inquisitor and the answerer(seriously I wouldn't tell just anyone about my pet frog murphy*)



*Murphy the frog may or may not exist, or may have existed at some previous point in history but no longer exists on this plane as we knew him, or may not exist yet, and is a future frog I may become enamored with enough to take responsibility for his waxing and shellacking needs at some later date in the very near or very far future....

[Lace Neil Singer]

I'm childfree too, and I hate it when people patronise me with, "Oh, you'll change your mind someday". No, I won't. I don't like kids enough to want any of my own and I enjoy being selfish and doing stuff like staying up all night drinking, thanks very much.

If it were only possible, I would gladly swap my fertility for the infertility of some poor woman desperate for babies.

[Sapphire Silk]

There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids. Some people know they're not meant to be parents; I think its responsible for such people to NOT have children.

However, your desires regarding the potential of parenthood are really irrelevant. Even if you hypothetically couldn't wait to find the right guy (or gal, there's always artificial insemination) it's still NONE of the SC's business and he shouldn't even be asking the question. He especially should not ask it in a lame attempt to pick you up.

[Android Kaeli]

If you want to be a parent, are a parent, or don't want to be a parent, that's your decision -- not anyone elses. I, too, do not want kids for many different reasons and have not changed my mind in the last twenty or so years since I made this decision [made it when I was still young, hasn't changed] .

I agree: it's none of the SC's business what you do on your own time or your decisions. You are doing your job, what you think and do about your personal life has no business at your place of employment.

[Pixilated]

whatever happened to the nice but not very intrusive "how's your day been?"
It's polite, and can be a short answer(fine, good, can't complain), or a long one(great, just got my pet frog waxed and polished, he's really shiny, next time I'm thinking of getting him shellacked!), depending on the situation, time constraints, and comfort level between the inquisitor and the answerer(seriously I wouldn't tell just anyone about my pet frog murphy*)

*Murphy the frog may or may not exist, or may have existed at some previous point in history but no longer exists on this plane as we knew him, or may not exist yet, and is a future frog I may become enamored with enough to take responsibility for his waxing and shellacking needs at some later date in the very near or very far future....

I think it disappeared somewhere -- as did bland comments about the weather -- when the "let it all hang out" philosophy took over. It's a shame, considering what has taken over as "acceptable" conversation.

My reaction to this type of question used to be, "Why yes, I love kids (which is true) -- provided that, when they go home, they go to somebody else's house (which is also true)."

One of the advantages of being visibly middle-aged: I no longer get questions about any possibly impending motherhood.

[veniteangeli]

"Why yes, I love kids..."

...especially with barbecue sauce.

...but I could never eat a whole one.

...but the guv'mint says I have to stay 100 feet away from them.

Take your pick. I don't humor people.

[fireheart]

I went to a dueling piano bar when I was 7 months along with my first.

I'm assuming that there was a performance of duelling pianos, not that random strangers played the pianos?

[Seshat]

"... but I wouldn't wish my genes on anyone"


Also shuts them down neatly. Except for the ones who then get nosy about what your genetic problems might be: some of those are actually, genuinely interested. Some just want .. well, I don't know what they want. Ghoulishness factor?