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OK, before I begin, there is some background infomation you should know. Just finished a long shift, but I need to vent because it was hell. So many complaints, but this one stook out.
So, the bar I work in has three sets of toilets. One gents, and two ladies. On Friday night, some idiot clogged one of the toilets so bad that it flooded the whole place, and there was no one available over the weekend to come fix it, so we simply turned the second ladies toilets into the gents and put a huge "Out of Order" sign in front of it.
However, we also have a problem with our ladies toilets. The wooden frames under the sinks have gone mouldy from moisture leaking down, and until someone comes in to rip out all the sinks and replace them, there is nothing we can do except put an air freshener in there.
So, this is where the SCness begins. A member of staff walks up to me and says that two customers want to see me about the state of the toilets ASAP. Before I go see these customers, I go for a quick look to see what they could be complaining about. In the ladies, there was the smell of mouldy wood, of course, but the former ladies toilets (now the gents) only had the footprints of previous customers, so I walk over to them.
SM = Sucky Man
SW = Sucky Woman
SW: Excuse me, but I'm not going to wait around all day for you to come see us. I would like to complain about the state of the toilets here!
Me: OK, sure, could I just ask what the problem is?
SW: Well, I went into the ladies toilets about two hours ago, and it smelled! I went back five minutes ago, and it still smelled!
Me: Ah well, I understand it's because...
Sucky Man joins in.
SM: And I went into the gents and it had a flooded toilet!
Me: Oh. I just came from there and there was no flood.
SM: Well you must be blind!
Me: Can I just ask what toilet you went to?
SM: That one there!
He points to the old gents toilets with the huge "OUT OF ORDER" sign on it
Me: Well they are out of order.
SM: But that's not the point! They were flooded!
Me: Which is why it is out of order, you see, last night...
Woman jumps in.
SW: This place smells of sewage!
Me: It's not sewage, its...
SW: I'm going to call the police! It is hazerdous for anyone to come in here!
Me: It's not hazerdous, it's because...
SW: You're going to get closed down!
The man interupts.
SM: Let him finish!
Me: Thank you. Can I just say, it is not sewage. The framework underneath our sinks has gone mouldy from condensation and moisture. We are fully aware of the problem, unfortuantely, there is nothing we can do in the short term. We can only go in there and spray air freshener when we get the chance until head office sends someone in to rip out the sinks and replace them with new ones with better frames.
SM: And this will happen when? Tomorrow?
Me: I can't say unfortunately. I have no idea, but we are having a renovation in a matter of weeks...
Woman jumps in.
SW: It is not mouldy wood! It is sewage! Do you know what I am going to do? When I get home, I am phoning Environmental Health...TWICE!
Me: O.....K.....
SW: Two phone calls! That's all it takes! Two phone calls and this place will be shut down! You are poisoning people with you're toxic waste! We're going to close you down, and get the police involved in this matter!
They walk out. I am completely stunned.
I go tell our manager everything that has happened. He laughed his ass off.
So, the bar I work in has three sets of toilets. One gents, and two ladies. On Friday night, some idiot clogged one of the toilets so bad that it flooded the whole place, and there was no one available over the weekend to come fix it, so we simply turned the second ladies toilets into the gents and put a huge "Out of Order" sign in front of it.
However, we also have a problem with our ladies toilets. The wooden frames under the sinks have gone mouldy from moisture leaking down, and until someone comes in to rip out all the sinks and replace them, there is nothing we can do except put an air freshener in there.
So, this is where the SCness begins. A member of staff walks up to me and says that two customers want to see me about the state of the toilets ASAP. Before I go see these customers, I go for a quick look to see what they could be complaining about. In the ladies, there was the smell of mouldy wood, of course, but the former ladies toilets (now the gents) only had the footprints of previous customers, so I walk over to them.
SM = Sucky Man
SW = Sucky Woman
SW: Excuse me, but I'm not going to wait around all day for you to come see us. I would like to complain about the state of the toilets here!
Me: OK, sure, could I just ask what the problem is?
SW: Well, I went into the ladies toilets about two hours ago, and it smelled! I went back five minutes ago, and it still smelled!
Me: Ah well, I understand it's because...
Sucky Man joins in.
SM: And I went into the gents and it had a flooded toilet!
Me: Oh. I just came from there and there was no flood.
SM: Well you must be blind!
Me: Can I just ask what toilet you went to?
SM: That one there!
He points to the old gents toilets with the huge "OUT OF ORDER" sign on it
Me: Well they are out of order.
SM: But that's not the point! They were flooded!
Me: Which is why it is out of order, you see, last night...
Woman jumps in.
SW: This place smells of sewage!
Me: It's not sewage, its...
SW: I'm going to call the police! It is hazerdous for anyone to come in here!
Me: It's not hazerdous, it's because...
SW: You're going to get closed down!
The man interupts.
SM: Let him finish!
Me: Thank you. Can I just say, it is not sewage. The framework underneath our sinks has gone mouldy from condensation and moisture. We are fully aware of the problem, unfortuantely, there is nothing we can do in the short term. We can only go in there and spray air freshener when we get the chance until head office sends someone in to rip out the sinks and replace them with new ones with better frames.
SM: And this will happen when? Tomorrow?
Me: I can't say unfortunately. I have no idea, but we are having a renovation in a matter of weeks...
Woman jumps in.
SW: It is not mouldy wood! It is sewage! Do you know what I am going to do? When I get home, I am phoning Environmental Health...TWICE!
Me: O.....K.....
SW: Two phone calls! That's all it takes! Two phone calls and this place will be shut down! You are poisoning people with you're toxic waste! We're going to close you down, and get the police involved in this matter!
They walk out. I am completely stunned.
I go tell our manager everything that has happened. He laughed his ass off.
I swear, who the hell goes into a bathroom that says "Out of order" and then bitches about the fact that it's flooded? 
WELCOME 
and that might restart their fried brain circuits.
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