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  • People are Dumb on Vacation

    I lived and worked in Grand Canyon National Park, and every year the local employee newsletter has a "Stupid Question" contest at the end of the summer. Here are some of the dumb questions I heard:

    When does the Canyon fill up with water and become a big lake?

    Can I have the deer and elk placed outside my window in the morning? (Sure, we round them up every night and put them in cages just so we can fill requests like yours. We also train them to STAY.)

    Where is the elevator to the bottom?

    Can you hike to the bottom and back in one day? (This question is often asked after you have explained the it is at least 14 miles round trip-longer depending on what trail you take-of steep inclines)

    Where are the cliffs with the President's faces on them? A: Go east on I-40 until you get to I-25 Go north in to Wyoming.

    And my all time favorite...Can you direct me to the rim? (asked by some one standing about 10 feet from it. I instructed them to turn around)

  • #2
    Can you hike to the bottom and back in one day?
    maybe, let's try it *pushes idiot off the cliff.* ok, i did my part, getting back is on you
    look! it's ghengis khan!
    Sorry, but while I can do many things, extracting heads from anuses isn't one of them. (so sayeth the irv)

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    • #3
      Oh yeah.

      My uncle used to get complaints from Campers while working at Yellowstone about the coyotes.

      "We were kept up all night by the coyotes howling. Can't you get rid of these troublesome animals?"

      Yeah, we'll get right on that.
      Because as we all know, on the Internet all men are men, all women are men and all children are FBI agents.

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      • #4
        [QUOTE=zaleonia;92493]I
        Where are the cliffs with the President's faces on them? A: Go east on I-40 until you get to I-25 Go north in to Wyoming.




        Ummm..just to clarify in case anyone gets a tad bit confused..the President's faces (Mt. Rushmore) is NOT in Wyoming, is in South Dakota..of course if you are coming from Arizona you would probably go thru Wyoming to get here. Just thought I would throw that little bit of information in.

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        • #5
          Haha, good ones.

          Some of mine, from when I worked inside of Grand Teton National Park in Wyoming. I did not work for the park service, I worked at the Jackson Hole airport, which is located in the park. Since GTNP is the gateway to the Southwest entrance of Yellowstone, we got a ton of people heading that way as well.

          When do the Moose turn into Elk?

          Is that snow on top of the Mountains man-made? (asked all the time in the summer)

          Can I hunt in the National Elk Refuge?

          Can I swim in the Geysers (think Old Faithful)?

          How can I attract Bears?

          And my all time-favorite.....
          Is there a Statue of Yogi Bear somewhere in the Park? (Yogi Bears adventures took place in a fictional park called "Jellystone", so that would be a negative.)
          If watermelons are made up of water, what are kumquats made up of?
          www.myspace.com/rentalracer

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          • #6
            "When do the Moose turn into Elk?"

            Great googlymoogly.

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            • #7
              There is a Jellystone Park in South Jersey (Elmer & Mays Landing, NJ) and also in New York in the Catskills. Still a ways from Wyoming...
              I don't go in for ancient wisdom
              I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
              It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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              • #8
                Quoth BookstoreEscapee View Post
                There is a Jellystone Park in South Jersey (Elmer & Mays Landing, NJ) and also in New York in the Catskills. Still a ways from Wyoming...

                So I gotta ask...Any Yogi Bear statues in either place?
                If watermelons are made up of water, what are kumquats made up of?
                www.myspace.com/rentalracer

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                • #9
                  Quoth RentalRacer View Post
                  So I gotta ask...Any Yogi Bear statues in either place?
                  I'm sure there are. I just looked a little closer at one of the sites I googled and learned that there are over 70 Jellystone Parks around the country (each individually owned and operated).

                  Some photos from the NJ page. You'll see a statue and also Yogi himself, in the flesh (ok, fake fur).
                  I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                  I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                  It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth RentalRacer View Post
                    So I gotta ask...Any Yogi Bear statues in either place?
                    As somebody from New Jersey I can vouch that the Jellystone Campground does in fact have a statue of Yogi Bear.

                    And as an added bonus, there are usually people dressed in the Yogi Bear Costume so you can now direct all the furries out there.

                    M
                    I never lost my faith in humanity. Can't lose what you never had right?

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                    • #11
                      Quoth ThePhoneGoddess View Post
                      "We were kept up all night by the coyotes howling. Can't you get rid of these troublesome animals?"

                      Yeah, we'll get right on that.
                      I could help you with that, but then they would complain about the gunfire comming from all hours of the night. (I wouldn't use my suppressor, just to anoy them. )
                      "Magic sometimes sounds like tape." - The Amazing Johnathan

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                      • #12
                        There's also a Jelly stone in Western Maryland.

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                        • #13
                          Quoth zaleonia View Post

                          Can you hike to the bottom and back in one day? (This question is often asked after you have explained the it is at least 14 miles round trip-longer depending on what trail you take-of steep inclines)
                          I've never seen the trails, but I bet you could hike to the bottom and back in one day if you start early and are really, really fit and tough. But I bet the people who ask this are wearing hawaiian shirts, hushpuppies, and have a nice layer of pudge about them.

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                          • #14
                            Ummm..just to clarify in case anyone gets a tad bit confused..the President's faces (Mt. Rushmore) is NOT in Wyoming, is in South Dakota..of course if you are coming from Arizona you would probably go thru Wyoming to get here. Just thought I would throw that little bit of information in.
                            I was hoping someone would catch that.
                            Tamezin

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                            • #15
                              Quoth RentalRacer View Post
                              How can I attract Bears?

                              I get these idiots in the form of vacation cabin owners. People who spend a regular amount of time up here, not so much but when they rent out their cabins or loan them to family and friends they just don't get it. And then when the bears begin breaking into cabins on a regular basis because they thought it was cute to leave their garbage out to attract and see them, they're the first to b*tch and want it shot.

                              "You'd feel a Hell of a lot better if you'd just rip into the occasional customer."
                              ~Clerks

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