But I HAVE CHILDRENNNNNN!!

[ArenaBoy]

Some threads I've been reading involving children intrigued me as of late. I've noticed that when we complain about children being a PITA we often complain about those gord-awful heelies or their parents not taking responsibility and I have to ask: How many of us had customers use their kids as way to garner sympathy from us? I've read stories on here about bill collecters and the like saying they hate it when deadbeats use their children as a way to bail them out. I thought I wasn't going to get that but just the other night I got someone saying they deserved a good spot because they had two small children. Thoughts?

[April]

I posted this waaaaay back when, but I'll post the short version now...it wasn't exactly a way to get sympathy but rather free stuff.

A woman with her small child asks me where the cologne is. I point the direction and give her the aisle number. She leaves. All is well...right?

3 days later I get a call into the office. The manager states this woman called in, described me, described the whole cologne thing, but then adds that I called her a fat bitch and then pushed her daughter down, and she deserved a 500 dollar gift card because of her daughters trauma.

luckily management reviewed security tapes, stood by me, and assigned me a security guard when the woman threatened to "take care of that girl myself"

[Rubystars]

I hate it when I card very young looking people with small children and they scream "But I'm a MOTHER!"

[Lyse]

Working collections right now, and I wish I could say that I was shocked at how many people are teaching their kids to lie for them. One call today - asked for the borrower and heard the little girl ask who that was. In the background you could hear the mother say "That's me. Tell them I ain't here and hang up!" The little girl couldn't have been more than four or five and her mother is making her screen calls and teaching her to lie and be rude. grrrrr.

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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you a truckload of hand grenades... now *that's* a sign.

[ForestDragon]

I hate it when I card very young looking people with small children and they scream "But I'm a MOTHER!"

Considering there are kids out there who've given birth at the age of 12 I find myself unmoved by such "logic." All having kids means is that your reproductive system works. BFD. Idiots. And idiots who've bred, loverly.

[chainedbarista]

we used to have a family of transients that would often hang out by the bus stop near our store; these winners would use their children quite shamelessly to get free drinks.

they'd scrounge through the trash, pick out cups, then return with the cup and try to get coffee refills, regardless of what was marked on the cup previously. after trying this pathetic scam multiple times (gotta try every shift, after all), they finally realised they weren't getting squat and moved on.

seriously, whoring out your children like that...

[Jewels]

At my current job, I usually find myself arguing with a small child over the bill. A lot of our customers don't speak english, so when they have a problem they put the kiddie on the phone.


Its very surreal when you have a 10 year old screaming at you because their mom thinks that the bill is wrong.

[Gravekeeper]

Oh yes, The Interpreter. I get that a lot at work too. Its really baffling discussing real estate with a 5 year old while someone screams bloody murder in Chinese in the background. o.O

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

When I was 10 my parents took me on a little trip to South Carolina (we lived in NC at the time) so they could check out timeshares and pick up the little prizes (portable TV, and other nice stuff). I was excited about the timeshare because the pool was pretty nifty and the place was gorgeous.

Tour is now over and I'm in the TV room watching my Saturday Morning cartoons (remember those glorious days?) when the sales guy comes in without my parents and trys to convince me to go and "Tell Mommy and Daddy how much fun this would be to buy into".

First off I'm 10 but I haven't said "Mommy" since I was 7 and never used "Daddy" since my folks got divorced when I was 2. I was getting used to a step dad and I just called him "Dad".

The second problem is I was one of those precocious mature for my age kids. Since I was also seeing a psychologist for my Attention Deficit Disorder I knew that my emotional age was more akin to 13 years old (which when you figured that my hand-eye age was closer to 6 years old meant I was an interesting case)

So I came into the room where Mom and Dad were given a private moment to consider the offer and to decide on whether or not to buy. I say private, but pushy asshole salesman was standing right outside the door listening in as I walked in.

I came in and said, "Hey Mom, Dad, The salesman outside the door came to me in the TV room and wants me to use me as his pawn in his attempt to con you guys into buying this timeshare. He wants me to say things to the effect of "Wow! This place is really neat!" and "Can we live here forever?" and other stuff like that.

My folks were pissed off at the sales-tard and I got the chuckle of my ten-year-old life by seeing the look on the face of the guy as I, a lowly child got the upper hand and won the battle. We got the TV (which stayed in my room) and he didn't get his commission.

Sucks to be him.

[iradney]

Please, expecting special treatment because you have kids is like me expecting special treatment because I have a 3rd nipple (yep I do).
Most of the world has kids and extra body parts.Show me a well-behaved family, however, and you'll notice they generally get good service without demanding it. Why? Coz they treat the people around them with respect!

[ThePhoneGoddess]

Call I had while working for Satan's Cable Company:

SC: Yeah, my cable's not working.

Me: Ok, I can have a tech sent out to your house the day after tomorrow.

SC: WHAT?!!! I HAVE KIDS HERE! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THEM!!1 THEY CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THE DISNEY CHANNEL!!! I NEED THAT DAMN CABLE ON RIGHT NOW!!! YOU GET SOMEONE OUT HERE NOW OR I WONT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT THESE KIDS DO!!!



Hmm. Perhaps you shouldn't be responsible for them anyway...

[Rubystars]

Supernumerary nipples occur in 1 out of 50 people, and a lot of people don't even know they have a third nipple (or more) because they're reduced in size and might be mistaken for a mole or a pimple.

We used to dread the cable going out at my house because my younger sister (about 7 years younger than me) would throw massive fits whenever the cable was off. Thankfully she eventually grew out of it. So I can kind of sympathize with that SC, but he did phrase it in a silly way.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I hate it when I card very young looking people with small children and they scream "But I'm a MOTHER!"

Ha! I have an ex-friend whose sister had 2 kids by the time she was 19. She's 27 now and probably still gets carded.

Please, expecting special treatment because you have kids is like me expecting special treatment because I have a 3rd nipple (yep I do).

Well, that all depends on who you're expecting special treatment from...

[ForestDragon]

SC: WHAT?!!! I HAVE KIDS HERE! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THEM!!1 THEY CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THE DISNEY CHANNEL!!! I NEED THAT DAMN CABLE ON RIGHT NOW!!! YOU GET SOMEONE OUT HERE NOW OR I WONT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT THESE KIDS DO!!!

[singing] Now ain't that too damn bad.[/singing]

Since it sounds like these are small children (Disney being a clue), they're most likely going to be destroying your stuff in your house, so I don't see how that's my problem...

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

SC: WHAT?!!! I HAVE KIDS HERE! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THEM!!1 THEY CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THE DISNEY CHANNEL!!! I NEED THAT DAMN CABLE ON RIGHT NOW!!! YOU GET SOMEONE OUT HERE NOW OR I WONT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT THESE KIDS DO!!!

Ah-wuh?!

They can't live without the Disney Channel?

I thought the basic survival needs were food, shelter and clothing. Not Hannah Montana, Mickey Mouse and Lizzie McGuire.

If nothing else, send the kids outside to play instead of vegging out in front of the tube.