Other "cards" to play

[TruthHurts]

The "I've Done Your Job Before" card. Once in a while we'll get some asshat who wants us to bend the rules for them. When we refuse they go into the spiel how they worked our job before and somehow that piece of info is gonna make us do what they want. I always want to respond with "And when you were doing my job did you let customers do whatever they want to without any concern for your job too?"

[BookstoreEscapee]

What's funny is they actually have a physical card to play. "

Hehe..so do the teachers! Well, when they haven't forgotten it/not renewed it/forgotten their school ID or check stub/etc.

[RichS]

For techs, it's the "But it was working yesterday!" card, usually played when you find that a part/application/OS isn't working anymore and needs to be replaced/reinstalled...

Yesterday was yesterday, it's not working now, is it? Do you want it to work again, or not?

[Rubystars]

The 'No comprende' card. People who speak and understand perfectly good English until you try to tell them something they don't want to hear, then they pretend not to understand you.

The biggest example is when I would want to go to break or lunch and would be closing my line down. "This line is closed." *people continue to try to put their groceries on the belt* Repeatx3, then I find out that after giving up and checking them out that they understand and speak English very well. They also seem to like to pretend not to understand when they can't do a particular price match for them even if I was carrying on a normal English conversation before then with them.

[nhollywood]

"I pay your salary."

Funny, I don't see your name on my paycheck and no, you pay for the service that the company provides which does not include abusing its employees. I don't think I would stop getting paid if you decided to cancel your service.

[Primer]

How about the "but if I fail this class, I'll lose all my financial aid" card...
Or..."you make it sound so easy in class, why did I fail the test?"
Or..."I forgot the testing center closes at 3 on Fridays, so I didn't have time to take the test"
Or..."I couldn't do any of the homework because I had to take my SO out partying for his/her birthday"

gah! The stories I hear from my students...and it seems that it's all MY fault if they don't pass.

[Mr. Crow]

The "I'm a farmer!" Happens when they have to buy a new motor when they compleatly trashed the one they had.

"It has to be working by monday." Told to us around 9:50pm on a friday. ANd they get pissed since all time worked on what ever they broke is overtime.

[Rubystars]

How about the "but if I fail this class, I'll lose all my financial aid" card...
Or..."you make it sound so easy in class, why did I fail the test?"
Or..."I forgot the testing center closes at 3 on Fridays, so I didn't have time to take the test"
Or..."I couldn't do any of the homework because I had to take my SO out partying for his/her birthday"

I would tell them "Congratulations, you're finally going to have to learn how to grow up."

[myswtghst]

The "But it's an emergency!" card, that SC's believe contains the ability to alter reality.

Story time: I used to work in a parts/accessories call center that handled cell phone stuff. We did warranty orders with advanced replacement (i.e. we sent you the new batteries with a waybill, you sent in the bad but under warranty batteries). If you weren't the best customer and were on credit card terms, we had to put the amount of the warranty order on hold on your card, to insure you weren't scamming us for free product. This is common knowledge, although I will admit, in this instance, that our CSR screwed up by letting the guy do a warranty order for nearly $1000.00 worth of product, even though the limit is supposed to be $200.00. The order was placed on a Wednesday.

The customer calls in on Friday night, around 5 minutes before closing. All the credit analysts and people with power over accounts and billing are LONG GONE for the weekend. This guy is having fits because he used his personal credit card to place the order, and now he can't use it all weekend, as the vast majority of his credit limit is on hold. "But it's an emeeeeeergenciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiy!" does not change the fact that there is no one on staff to do anything about it.

[Spawned]

How to respond to each and every card, with and without getting in trouble:

The race card:

Example: "If I was white you would not decline my return."

Possible Trouble, but worth it:

If I was (insert ethnic background of customer) and declined the return you would not accuse me of such a thing. I guess we are even.

No Trouble:

If you feel that way m'am/sir, then I would be more then happy to grab (co-worker of minority ethnicity's name) who will explain to you our store policy.

The senior card:

Example: "Back in my day..."

Trouble:

It's not your day anymore m'am/sir.

No Trouble:

Maybe so m'am/sir, however this is the policy today and I am unable to meet that request, I apologize.

The I have children card:

Example: "But my kids..."

Trouble:

You have kids, I feel sorry for them.

No Trouble:

I have children as well m'am/sir, however I cannot (summarize complaint).


Always remember to bring the playing field down to their card with pointing out that they are not the only ones in such boat and you will get them to stop.


Finally to Mr. I will have your job.

I have never gotten in trouble for this, but it is risque:

Ok then sir, my hours are, my duties are, the pay is, and you will be expecting to start immediately. With that said, I still cannot complete your request.

[zzapp the witch]

And yet every card on here fits right into the "Butthurt Whiner Card".

[Imogene]

The one I just noticed was missing: "I've been working retail <ungodly #> of years, and I would never treat my customers this way."

[Lyger]

Once had someone play a "My sports team is doing badly this year" card.
... I had to do a double take on that guy. So did the person in line behind him.

How about the "I'm a Veteran" card? Usually goes close with the "I'm a senior" card. Now, I appreciate what the army does, and I have an assload of respect for the soldiers who have to do their duty. But really, it's not any reason to think that you're somehow suddenly more entitled to discounts at retail chains because you put your life on the line. I mean, I used to have a lot of cops (in uniform) drop by the gas station I used to work at. Those guys have to deal with life-threatening stuff too. Never heard a single cop say anything about the price of their gas or anything else they were buying...

These days, at my current recycling job, the "I'm a Veteran" card comes up around the homeless dudes who ask for cans/bottles/change.

[Imogene]

Ah, and, in relation to the 'dog law' thread, what about the: "But there's a laaaaaw!" card?

[starla671]

What about the &quot;I'm a Police/Fireman&quot; Card?

I've got nothing against them, but I've had my share of customers who think they deserve free meals because they're in law enforcement, Fire fighters, or EMT's.