I'm sorry but my time machine is down...

[computergeekett]

This is the first of many stories I hope to be posting for your enjoyment.
Setting the scene: I work for an online company in tech support.

On monday 3/5/07 our office received an email from a customer requesting to be canceled as of 1/28/07. To which we responded that he was in a free trial and that the account would be closed as of today (monday) because that is the way our database system works.
To which he responded: "You obviously didn't read what I wrote... I WANT MY ACCOUNT CANCELED AS OF 1/28/07"

We had a few laughs in the office with what we wanted to reply with, but as usual sent a proper reply.

I just had to share the stupidity.

[Reyneth]

Is he thinking he can regain his free trial or something?

[myswtghst]

That hurt my brain. You can't retroactively enforce a cancellation you made today.

[Jack7957]

So tell him his account is cancelled as of 1/28/07, and that....

1) All emails still on your servers will be deleted
2) Anything he bought online since 1/28 must be returned
3) Any information or conversations he had online since 1/28 must be forgotten

[ominousoat]

It's amazing just how many people seem to think that's possible. I get so many people saying things like:

"My renters told me to get gas under my name about two months ago, um, could you set that as effective two months ago so they're not mad at me?"

[greensinestro]

In my internet department, business customers are required to fax anything in on the account, ie changes, disconnects, what have you. I love that ones I get where they call in up and down that they canceled the service three months ago (verbally, of course, instead of faxing it in, like they were told to do), and demand a credit. Then, after you have explained that you see where the fax was advised, yet the customer groaned and moaned, refusing to take the extra two minutes to fax it in, this person will then fax in the request, dating it with the date of three months prior. It does not say, "Make it effective as of this date". They make it look as it all along they sent the fax, and are now trying to look like their internet provider screwed up. Some of these people will say, "Well, I did send it in", yet the notes say how upset the customer was that they had to do that, plus the fax servers show no record of the fax being received.

[RebeccaOTool]

That's funny.

[Imogene]

Well, well, the Morlocks will live to see another day, then.