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Had a woman call about some unauthorized charges on her credit card. They are from us, so of course it's all our fault. No, nobody called in pretending to be you and made a charge with your credit card, we must have pulled your credit card number out of some magic hat we have and just decided to charge it to MESS WITH YOUR HEAD! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*sigh* I wish I was allowed to do that. It would make my job so much more entertaining.
at one point she got all huffy and said---I kid you not--- she said: "But you people charged my card without authorization! That's FORNICATION!"
I literally had to put myself on mute for at least two minutes while I rocked back and forth in my chair, tears streaming down my cheeks.
I IMed it to the entire graveyard crew, and we've been laughing about it for days now. Anytime we get a call about unauthorized chagres, somebody has to make a crack "*gasp* that's FORNICATION!" and we all lose it.
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And we got another winner tonight---we'll call him Mr. Spencer.
Mr. Spencer has been trying to place an order all day. He claims it's been 3 days, but I have his whole account history laid out and it's been about 18 hours.
He refuses to give us any information to do a security verification, so we can't put his order through. Then he calls back, replaces the order, and speaks to someone else here. Here's a few highlights from Mr. Spencer's 'experience' with us.
Mr. Spencer: Give me your social security # and DOB!
Rep: I'm sorry, sir, I am not permitted to give out my personal information to customers.
Mr. Spencer: AH HA!!! See, you hypocrites! You want all my info but you won't give out your own!
Rep: No sir, we are not destroying your address. We just need you to verify it.
Rep: no sir, we are not destroying your public record. We're simply trying to use it to verify you.
Rep: Sir, if you will not help us complete the verification, we cannot process your order. Therefore I will have to cancel it. We cancelled all your other orders because you refused verification and hung up. Yes, sir, we *DO* have the right to do that. It's called policy.
Rep: Well, sir, we are not customer service, this is the security department. Our job is not to give you whatever you want.
Mr. Spencer: Yes it is!
Rep: no, it isn't!
Mr. Spencer: I want to talk to someone else!
Supervisor: Well, sir, you've already spoken to all six people in the department. There is nobody else for you to talk to.
Mr. Spencer: Yes there is! Get somebody else on the phone now!
Supervisor: Sir, you are now speaking with the supervisor for this shift. I assure you, there is no one else for you to talk to.
Mr. Spencer: You're lying! THERE'S ALWAYS SOMEBODY ELSE TO TALK TO! *click*
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The FCC guy.
SC: I have the number for the FCC right here, and I am not afraid to use it! (said in a triumphant tone of voice) I better get that money back right now!
Me: Well sir, I am not showing we have taken any funds off of your phone. So there's only one way the money would not be on there---if you used it on a call.
SC: That's bullshit! I have free nights and weekends! I am an ex-marine, missy, and you better not mess with me! I WILL call the FCC!!!
Me: Sir, if you continue to threaten me I will disconnect this call.
SC: How is calling the FCC threatening you?
Me: No, sir, telling me you're in the military and I better not mess with you is a threat. I do not get paid enough to get threatened over the phone.
SC: Well I am a disabled Gulf vet and I will not allow you to take advantage of me! I have no problem calling the FCC, you tell your manager that, missy! He'll be shaking in his damn boots!
Me: Sir, if you believe some money is missing from the phone, you are welcome to call customer service and have them look at the breakdown of your phone usage. They will be able to tell you exactly how much money went to each call you have made.
SC: But I want you people to do it! I know you can take money off these phones, I want it put back on now! I have the number to the FCC right here in front of me, I will call them and tell them you're taking money away from veterans like me!
Me: That's fine, sir. You're welcome to do that. But I am not showing any money was taken off your phone, and if you want to check it further, you'd need to speak to customer service. Is there anything else I can do for you?
SC: Why do you people make this so difficult! I just want my 59 cents! Do I have to call the FCC on you and have you people shut down! Do you really want to lose your job, missy?
Me: all right, sir, you call the FCC. You have fun with that. I am disconnecting this call now as we are getting nowhere. Thank you for calling, and have a nice day.
That's right, boys and girls, he was threatening us with the FCC over 59 CENTS!!!
*sigh* I wish I was allowed to do that. It would make my job so much more entertaining.
at one point she got all huffy and said---I kid you not--- she said: "But you people charged my card without authorization! That's FORNICATION!"
I literally had to put myself on mute for at least two minutes while I rocked back and forth in my chair, tears streaming down my cheeks.
I IMed it to the entire graveyard crew, and we've been laughing about it for days now. Anytime we get a call about unauthorized chagres, somebody has to make a crack "*gasp* that's FORNICATION!" and we all lose it.
----------------------------------------------------
And we got another winner tonight---we'll call him Mr. Spencer.
Mr. Spencer has been trying to place an order all day. He claims it's been 3 days, but I have his whole account history laid out and it's been about 18 hours.
He refuses to give us any information to do a security verification, so we can't put his order through. Then he calls back, replaces the order, and speaks to someone else here. Here's a few highlights from Mr. Spencer's 'experience' with us.
Mr. Spencer: Give me your social security # and DOB!
Rep: I'm sorry, sir, I am not permitted to give out my personal information to customers.
Mr. Spencer: AH HA!!! See, you hypocrites! You want all my info but you won't give out your own!
Rep: No sir, we are not destroying your address. We just need you to verify it.
Rep: no sir, we are not destroying your public record. We're simply trying to use it to verify you.
Rep: Sir, if you will not help us complete the verification, we cannot process your order. Therefore I will have to cancel it. We cancelled all your other orders because you refused verification and hung up. Yes, sir, we *DO* have the right to do that. It's called policy.
Rep: Well, sir, we are not customer service, this is the security department. Our job is not to give you whatever you want.
Mr. Spencer: Yes it is!
Rep: no, it isn't!
Mr. Spencer: I want to talk to someone else!
Supervisor: Well, sir, you've already spoken to all six people in the department. There is nobody else for you to talk to.
Mr. Spencer: Yes there is! Get somebody else on the phone now!
Supervisor: Sir, you are now speaking with the supervisor for this shift. I assure you, there is no one else for you to talk to.
Mr. Spencer: You're lying! THERE'S ALWAYS SOMEBODY ELSE TO TALK TO! *click*
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The FCC guy.
SC: I have the number for the FCC right here, and I am not afraid to use it! (said in a triumphant tone of voice) I better get that money back right now!
Me: Well sir, I am not showing we have taken any funds off of your phone. So there's only one way the money would not be on there---if you used it on a call.
SC: That's bullshit! I have free nights and weekends! I am an ex-marine, missy, and you better not mess with me! I WILL call the FCC!!!
Me: Sir, if you continue to threaten me I will disconnect this call.
SC: How is calling the FCC threatening you?
Me: No, sir, telling me you're in the military and I better not mess with you is a threat. I do not get paid enough to get threatened over the phone.
SC: Well I am a disabled Gulf vet and I will not allow you to take advantage of me! I have no problem calling the FCC, you tell your manager that, missy! He'll be shaking in his damn boots!
Me: Sir, if you believe some money is missing from the phone, you are welcome to call customer service and have them look at the breakdown of your phone usage. They will be able to tell you exactly how much money went to each call you have made.
SC: But I want you people to do it! I know you can take money off these phones, I want it put back on now! I have the number to the FCC right here in front of me, I will call them and tell them you're taking money away from veterans like me!
Me: That's fine, sir. You're welcome to do that. But I am not showing any money was taken off your phone, and if you want to check it further, you'd need to speak to customer service. Is there anything else I can do for you?
SC: Why do you people make this so difficult! I just want my 59 cents! Do I have to call the FCC on you and have you people shut down! Do you really want to lose your job, missy?
Me: all right, sir, you call the FCC. You have fun with that. I am disconnecting this call now as we are getting nowhere. Thank you for calling, and have a nice day.
That's right, boys and girls, he was threatening us with the FCC over 59 CENTS!!!
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