Inspectors and SC's

[customersruinmylife]

Wow, worked a tiring shift. We had five inspectors in today, I think they were investigating all the complaints that have been made to Head Office about us (look at my previous threads for examples) but they left realises that it is truely down to customers being sucky, and not us being rude and incompetant.

So the manager wanted the best staff in today to work, I was there, along with two other supervisors and our best associate (below a supervisor). One inspector was in the kitchen, taking notes, one was on the bar, taking notes, one was asking the staff lots of questions, and the other was talking to the manager.

So here are a few incidents that happened in front of the inspectors.

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The inspector was asking a fellow supervisor a few questions. There was no queue at the bar, the place was almost empty. Suddenly, two old women come up to the bar, and before I can walk to them, they shout to my co-worker and the inspector

SC: HELLO??? SERVICE HERE PLEASE! WE HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY!

Inspector looked shocked.

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A woman walks up to the bar.

SC: I'd like a taxi please.
Co-worker: OK, we have a pay phone just over there.
SC: I'm not using that! It costs! Use the pub phone!
Co-worker: I'm afraid thats for emergancies only.
SC: This is an emergancy! I want to go home!
Co-worker: Sorry, but you're going to have to use the pay phone.
SC: Do you have a mobile phone?
Co-worker: Yes.....
SC: Well use that!
Co-worker: But thats my personal phone with my own credit I have paid for.
SC: I don't care, use it?
Co-worker: I'm sorry you're going to have to see the pay phone.
SC: I want to see the manager, I'm making a complaint.

Inspector looks confused.

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We have a guy in a wheelchair that regulary comes in. He has really bad arthritis so he can't walk and has to use a special glass so he can hold his drink. So we give him table service, he's a very nice man and always gives generous tips, even though we insist he doesnt. I serve him, and take his drinks over to him. A group of YOUNG customers see me do this.

SC: Why can't we get table service?
Me: Ah, I'm sorry but we don't do that here, we don't have the staff for the amount of customers we usually get to do table service.
SC: What about him?
Me: Well he's in a wheelchair.
SC: I don't care! I thought they wanted to be treated like everyone else!

Inspector shakes head and takes notes.

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A guy and his girlfriend run into the pub, gasping for air.

Guy: Yes, fish and chips and lasagne, and hurry!
Me: Ok, it'll take about ten minutes to cook...
Girl: We don't have ten minutes, we're in a hurry!
Me: I'm sorry, I very much doubt it will be quicker than that.
Guy: You call this fast food!
Me: No actually, I don't. Do we look like a McDonalds?

They run off. Inspector laughs.

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So after all this, the inspector asked if I could change one thing about the place I worked, what would it be.

Me: Doormen. Far too many idiots get in and out of this place and make our jobs so much more difficult than it needs to be.

After they left, they gave the manager a review. They basically dismissed all the complaints about us, and told us we were great!

They did have one problem though...our ice machine was dusty.

[Dips]

That's great. If only every business sent inspectors to actually investigate complaints instead of just believing and caving to the SCs.

It was funny how your SCs unwittingly "helped" the inspectors figure out what the real problem is.

[HALFHUMANHALFZOMBIE]

A guy and his girlfriend run into the pub, gasping for air.

Guy: Yes, fish and chips and lasagne, and hurry!
Me: Ok, it'll take about ten minutes to cook...
Girl: We don't have ten minutes, we're in a hurry!
Me: I'm sorry, I very much doubt it will be quicker than that.
Guy: You call this fast food!
Me: No actually, I don't. Do we look like a McDonalds?

They run off. Inspector laughs.

This part is my favorite. Hurry up and move fast because I'm an idiot and can't come sooner so I'll give the staff a hard time. The inspector laughs lol! Did you actually say "Do we look like a McDonalds"?

[powerboy]

I had one come in the first month that we were opened. The place was spotless, except for one little spot, that the inspector himself brought in.

[lordlundar]

Me: Doormen. Far too many idiots get in and out of this place and make our jobs so much more difficult than it needs to be.

Armed doormen with immunity to murder.

[Becks]

SC: Do you have a mobile phone?
Co-worker: Yes.....
SC: Well use that!

And that is why I don't let customers even know I have a cell phone. I barely let my coworkers know I have one...

[SuperB]

I'd be very happy with *just* a dusty ice machine. I've had inspectors who, once a clipboard hits their hands, think they are second only to God himself.

One woman has quite the reputation in our area. She approved a specific sink for us. Next time I'll make sure they have a visual instead of taking their word that they know what we meant because after installing it she said, "no way".
They usually won't leave without finding something to mark down.

[Imogene]

And that is why I don't let customers even know I have a cell phone. I barely let my coworkers know I have one...

I have a cell phone. However, I don't know the number for it. And I certainly don't point out to potential employers that I have one. It's my phone, you are not using the minutes I had to buy for you to call me on my day off.