Literary fun

[Mr B Rabbit]

A bookshop I used to work in was in a fairly upmarket area of town, we'd get members of the nobility in quite often and usually they were absolutely charming. There was one particularly notable exception. An elderly man with a knighthood, who not only would insist that everyone in the shop (not just staff, but other customers) address him by his full title. Not only that but he would try and pay with any other method than cash, ignoring the sign that said 'cash only' in big, bright letters by each till.

Last time I saw him was when he came in to shout at us for not having his book, even though he'd ordered it a month ago and had apparently phoned him to say it was in. After half an hour of abuse directed at a colleague of mine I got a little bored, picked up the phone and called our nearest rival to ask if they had a copy so I could just buy it and make him go away.

They did have a copy, ordered in by him, and they'd been trying to reach him for the last few days since if he did not pick it up soon they were going to have to return it. He never came back to the shop after that.

[HawaiianShirts]

They did have a copy, ordered in by him, and they'd been trying to reach him for the last few days since if he did not pick it up soon they were going to have to return it.

Which is precisely why we don't put items on hold. Half of the few times managers have told us to hold an item for a customer, the item gets picked up by the next day. The other half of the time, it just sits on the warehouse shelf with the customer's name on it for two weeks to two months. Of course, as soon as we decide the customer is not coming to pick up their hold and sell it, they show up wondering where their item is.

Never had any knights here, but we get our fair share of the "Don't you know who I am?" customers and the "I'm a doctor/lawyer/professor, and I need" customers who demand special treatment. I can only imagine what kind of treatment we'd get from a knight. Ugh.

[Linda]

Ah yes, my favourite "but I'm a doctor! I neeeeed it faster!" customer got busted the other day.

We found out that, in fact, she is the real Dr. K's cleaner, and not Dr. K at all.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Oh, I love the people who come to the wrong store.
=But they called meeee!
-Are you sure it was this store?
=Yes, this is the only one I come to!

We used to be able to look up orders for all the stores, and the few times I got to tell these people, no, you ordered it at X Store, was SO worth how long it took the computer to search

[ahanix1989]

I love when they throw the doctor thing
"I'm Dr. Kleiner"
"Really? You don't look like the Dr. Kleiner I know...."

[Mark Healey]

A bookshop I used to work in was in a fairly upmarket area of town, we'd get members of the nobility in quite often and usually they were absolutely charming. There was one particularly notable exception. An elderly man with a knighthood

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't modern knighthood just a civic award for government service (ex Prime Ministers) or bringing in lots of foreign trade and positive attention (Beatles, Judy Dench), without any real priveleges?

[Shironu-Akaineko]

Oh, I love the people who come to the wrong store.
=But they called meeee!
-Are you sure it was this store?
=Yes, this is the only one I come to!

We have TWO grocery stores in the whole town. TWO. US and THEM. Provigo, and IGA.

We get at least one everyday, two or three during the summer. They order something at IGA and come pick it up here. And of course throw a fit when we don't have it.

[Kara]

So I guess he'd be Sir Dumbass?

This used to happen to me at Circuit City. We had 2 in town (the one I used to work for closed down about a year after I quit, and I still drive by its desolate carcass with a big grin on my face) and people would order stuff online and hsve it shipped to the store, then drive to the wrong side of town to pick it up.

[Mr B Rabbit]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't modern knighthood just a civic award for government service (ex Prime Ministers) or bringing in lots of foreign trade and positive attention (Beatles, Judy Dench), without any real priveleges?

Usually it is for some sort of meritous behaviour, though probably not in this guys case. My great aunt is a Dame because of her charity work for example.

We also got some people with hereditary titles, say what you like about the nobility, but these ones certainly had fantastic manners. And they tipped well, in a bookshop. Often a little eccentric though...

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

"Oh I'm sorry, allow me to try again. How can I help you today Sir [fludic feminine hygine product]"

I had someone pull something like that on me and the part that flabbergasted me was that he wanted me to address him by his full title and was expecting differential treatment from someone who was not only in the USA, but in New Jersey.

When I didn't genuflect and lock my lips onto his ass he got all pissy and threatened to find another store "who would respect my rank and noble bearing".

As if he'd find anyone like that in New Joisey.

I simply told him that the door was three meters behind him and he could use it if he so desired.

Funny thing was that he came back since we were the only place in town who had one of the universal laptop power adaptors to replace the one he had left behind in England. He didn't even try to throw his weight around the second time.

M

[BookstoreEscapee]

As if he'd find anyone like that in New Joisey.

M

Yeah, not to much nobility here in the Garden State (though the only thing I see growing anymore are housing developments. Just yesterday I passed another house frame that wasn't there last time I went that way a couple weeks ago ). Mostly we've got transplants from New Yawk.

[Kara]

I've been trying to find audio to link to, but I can't locate it anywhere. Any Bob and Tom fans here reminded of "El Conquistador?"

[Imogene]

Not only that but he would try and pay with any other method than cash, ignoring the sign that said 'cash only' in big, bright letters by each till.

It doesn't matter how much you scream and rave and rant, Sir Not Appearing In This Film, but it won't change the fact that our store has not a credit card reader, much less a way to handle anything but f*cking CASH as is posted all over the store!