On behalf of my whole family, I am so sorry

[Mighty Girl]

My mom is out of town for a couple of weeks, so I've had the chance, oops I mean curse of carting my grandmother's butt around town for errands and to all the people we've encountered, I want to issue a very deep heartfelt apology. If we could find a way to "fix" her or make her shut up, believe me, we would have years ago.

Cute blond waitress at the restaurant- I am SO SORRY she said that to you. I made sure to put down an extra tip just for dealing with our table. I have no idea what "child bearing hips" means, and whatever you do, don't take a word she says seriously. Get married whenever YOU are ready, and please feel free to boil your whole body- I know I've wanted to when she hugs me like that, and I'm related to her.

Cashier at the pharmacy- I was SO SO SO EMBARRASSED that she did that. I'm stunned that you didn't smack her hand, as I would have if she did that to me (sorry but I was a bit busy holding my child). No one has the right to feel up a pregnant woman, even my busybody nosy PITA grandmother. And there isn't a single thing wrong with your nose.

And to the security guard- I'm sorry, she's not as smart as she thinks she is therefore she really does think you have some power regarding speed limits and parking limits. She didn't pay any attention- she just saw you standing there with that uniform on and assumed you were a freakin lieutenant on the police force with "special ties" to the law makers. She doesn't have a clue there is a difference between security guard and cop. And I'm really sorry that she clung on to your arm like that, but you did a good job of shaking her off when you were needed elsewhere. That cracked me up. As I'm sure you know, she whined about it all the way home.

And to anyone else the old bat offended/insulted/got too touchy with, etc.

I'm really really sorry. If I could give her a personality pill, I totally would.

[Ciarrai]

Oh dear, I do sympathize with you. I remember carting my grandmother around as a teenager before she was too stricken with Alzheimer's to function.
But I must ask, could you please post some more about what she said to the waitress, cashier and security guard? What exactly was wrong with the cashier's nose?

[Max]

Ugh. I've always idly wondered what it must be like for the family members of SCs. Sympathies.

[Mr B Rabbit]

I have no idea what "child bearing hips" means, and whatever you do, don't take a word she says seriously.

Its actually a compliment, sort of. Or it can be taken as one. If you know what an hourglass figure is then it refers to the bottom half of an hourglass figure.

A compliment along the same lines as 'good peasant stock'. About as offensive as you can get to some people.

[myswtghst]

I've been told before I have child-bearing hips, as I'm rather small in the waist, but have some good hips and thights. It generally means your pelvis is set wide enough that you don't have a narrow birth canal/should be able to easily give birth. Sorry if that was too graphic for some!

[BookstoreEscapee]

You're making me appreciate my grandma all the more. She lived to 83, but she definitely had all her marbles and knew when to keep her mouth shut. (Actually, doctors/nurses and others would often talk to my parents as if she wasn't all there and couldn't answer their questions. Pissed her off! If they did that when I was with her I'd say, Ask her!)

Child bearing hips isn't too too offensive, though if someone was sensitive about their weight it might be. I'm built like a 12 year old boy so I wouldn't know what that's like (having hips, I mean - I could do with a tad less weight )

[CherryB]

What 49 years on the planet has taught me:

No matter how much she embarrasses you, aggravates you and just generally makes you wish you had been an orphan raised by wolves............................................ .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ....................................... You will miss her when she is gone, more than you know now.

[blas]

As a great grand daughter of an elderly great grama in the last stages of alzheimers, I apologize to all people that my nanna has insulted while out in public. Please forgive her, she doesn't have the brain capacity or common sense anymore, and just blurts out stuff like "stupid Negro". I apologize profusely to anyone whose feelings were hurt by my loon of a great grandma. She has thoroughly embarrassed me enough to the point where I refuse to go anywhere with her in public. Someone else with more patience can deal with her.

I know a lot of old people's minds are long gone........but it still isn't really an excuse for the hurtful things they say. It takes a lot of patience to deal with a person whose mind has regressed to that of a child.

[ForestDragon]

Mighty Girl, am I an awful person because I was through most of your post? Definitely a 'better you than me' situation though...

[Mighty Girl]

I know I'll probably miss her a great deal when she's gone- but not as much as people probably think. I'm not proud of that, but I'm honest when I say she is like a leech. It doesn't matter how much time or love you give her, it's simply not enough and she always wants more.

Now- one of you asked for details.

The waitress was a sweetheart. Looked like she was in her late teens, maybe. Definitely at an age when girls are usually very paranoid about gaining weight.

GM: Oh, you're so pretty, I bet your children are beautiful too.
Waitress: Thank you, actually no kids yet (nervous smile)
GM: Oh? Why not?
W: Well, I'm not married, still in school, etc.
GM: Well don't you worry, you're very pretty and with those hips you should have no problem having a whole bunch of beautiful children.
W: Uh, ok, thanks, can I take your order?
GM: (rambles on about her neighbor who died while giving birth back in the stone ages)
Me: GM, do you know what you want, she probably has other tables to check on
GM: Oh, I need to look at the menu
Me: Why don't you give us a few minutes
GM: No, no. I won't take but a minute
Ok, I'll have the homestead breakfast, but I want a biscuit and grape jelly, do you have grape, cause if you don't I'll have the homefries instead, blab blab blab

Finally we eat and it's time to leave, as usual GM says she'll leave the tip and totally shortchanges the poor girl so I slip more cash on the table. We run into the waitress on the way out, my grandma DEMANDS a hug, holds on for too long and too tightly, kisses the girl's cheek, and advises her to hunt herself down a husband before her metabolism slows down.

I made a mental note to wear disguises when traveling with her.

[Mighty Girl]

More details

Basically, the cashier who waited on her was quite obviously pregnant. However, I have always been taught that unless you're the father, or you're witnessing the birth AT THAT MOMENT, you never ever assume someone is pregnant.

Anyway, she asked how far along she was. The girl looked about 25, she said 32 weeks. So my grandma proceeds to lean across the counter and lay her hand on the woman's belly. I was MORTIFIED. She then proceeds to stroke the girls pregnant belly and exclaims quite loudly, "OH! Your belly button has popped out, IT WON'T BE LONG NOW!". (Shoot me please). The girl finally steps back from the counter, my grandma, not one to be deterred says, "Oh, I can't stretch that far" The girl walks away while I say "That's probably why she moved". At this point a guy comes up to finish the transaction and I mouth the words "I'm so sorry" to the girl who is behind the barrier.

[Becks]

I supposedly have child-bearing hips, but maybe they're just covered in fat. Who knows.

[Ackee]

Wider

Child bearing hips are wide hips.
This is good because back in the days, when medicine was not as good as it right now, women with narrow hips couldn't squeeze the baby out without doing themselves some serious injury(think pelvic bone fractures). Also, it meant after a few babies your body physically couldn't take the strain anymore.

This is another reason why girls got married off so young, so they could get more children out of you before your body was eventually so weak you could only narrowly hold on to the threads of life. Forget being healthy.

Anyway I digress, women with wider hips could give birth more easily and therefore have more children. Which was good because medicine was not that great and people died quite young and you could loose the line of your family if you didn't have enough and they all died. Also, it was good to have free farm labourers.

My stepdad was one of 13.

Rant over



Mighty girl your granny doesn't seem too bad, in her own way she is being nice. At least she doesn't walk around with mould growing on her shoes making lewd sexual comments to unsuspecting shop assistants and members of the public for that matter.