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"Tell Janet to take a shower and stay out of Lake Michigan"
Crazy lady comes up to me at the info desk and shows me a kids book with an owl on the cover and begins her tirade by saying she is not afraid of owls. coworker A proceeds to ask her if it is a common fear and she replies by saying that there are people out there who are afraid of owls but she is not.
She then says "I know a guy who tells me he has three different names" at which point I'm thinking she's going to give me the name of an author, but I am oh so wrong. Apparently she knows this guy named Jim, Paul, and Mark and he gives her all three names at different times. Jim/Paul/Mark is a smart guy, really into technology, but he is trying to understand reincarnation, which is simply 'way over his head.' By the way I have been reincarnated twice. I don't understand why god reincarnates people, we really don't want to come back, we are just TORTURED SOULS. I would not have wanted to come back in this life/body because my parents died in a train wreck and I was raised by my sister, who is a nice person but very busy because she runs a business. If you see Jim/Paul/Mark and he is with Karen, oh wait he is no longer with Karen, he's stuck with Janet. If you see Janet tell her to start drinking a lot and not to go into Lake Michigan. I went into Lake Michigan and I lost 2 teeth and I have to get bridges and I don't have the money to get bridges, so you tell Janet that she should just take a shower and stay out of Lake Michigan."
(The woman is still standing at the info desk telling me these strange tales and switching from one subject to another in the blink of an eye)
"I am reincarnated twice, never get involved with a reincarnated person they will just be way over your head and you will never understand them because you can't just put a cell phone into someone's hand and expect them to understand, they are still in their past lives. Those evil women in Cedarburg stole my soul - it just shot right out of my body. We are TORTURED SOULS. Never try to understand reincarnation ..."
I have spent this whole time with a serious look on my face nodding and saying agreeable things like 'yeah' and 'mmm-hmm' all the while thinking "this woman is completely insane!!!" She finally leaves after another round of TORTURED SOULS action and proceeds up to the cafe. The fun doesn't end there, Army Pants is in cafe ordering his usual and she walks up to him and asks him what his level of education is to which he replies that he is a college graduate (who knew?) she then continues by saying "I would want to have sex with you but I am pre-menopausal." WTF ... holy hell ... she wants to have sex with Army Pants.
Remember: if you see Janet tell her not to go into Lake Michigan and never date a reincarnated person because they are TORTURED SOULS.
(btw, i janked this from my friend's myspace page with her permission. i did a little editing. army pants is a regular. we know him by his attire, which is, well, army pants.)
She then says "I know a guy who tells me he has three different names" at which point I'm thinking she's going to give me the name of an author, but I am oh so wrong. Apparently she knows this guy named Jim, Paul, and Mark and he gives her all three names at different times. Jim/Paul/Mark is a smart guy, really into technology, but he is trying to understand reincarnation, which is simply 'way over his head.' By the way I have been reincarnated twice. I don't understand why god reincarnates people, we really don't want to come back, we are just TORTURED SOULS. I would not have wanted to come back in this life/body because my parents died in a train wreck and I was raised by my sister, who is a nice person but very busy because she runs a business. If you see Jim/Paul/Mark and he is with Karen, oh wait he is no longer with Karen, he's stuck with Janet. If you see Janet tell her to start drinking a lot and not to go into Lake Michigan. I went into Lake Michigan and I lost 2 teeth and I have to get bridges and I don't have the money to get bridges, so you tell Janet that she should just take a shower and stay out of Lake Michigan."
(The woman is still standing at the info desk telling me these strange tales and switching from one subject to another in the blink of an eye)
"I am reincarnated twice, never get involved with a reincarnated person they will just be way over your head and you will never understand them because you can't just put a cell phone into someone's hand and expect them to understand, they are still in their past lives. Those evil women in Cedarburg stole my soul - it just shot right out of my body. We are TORTURED SOULS. Never try to understand reincarnation ..."
I have spent this whole time with a serious look on my face nodding and saying agreeable things like 'yeah' and 'mmm-hmm' all the while thinking "this woman is completely insane!!!" She finally leaves after another round of TORTURED SOULS action and proceeds up to the cafe. The fun doesn't end there, Army Pants is in cafe ordering his usual and she walks up to him and asks him what his level of education is to which he replies that he is a college graduate (who knew?) she then continues by saying "I would want to have sex with you but I am pre-menopausal." WTF ... holy hell ... she wants to have sex with Army Pants.
Remember: if you see Janet tell her not to go into Lake Michigan and never date a reincarnated person because they are TORTURED SOULS.
(btw, i janked this from my friend's myspace page with her permission. i did a little editing. army pants is a regular. we know him by his attire, which is, well, army pants.)
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