Be on the line when you call in!

[BookstoreEscapee]

You: (when the caller comes back on the line) Yes, we have a book. Many, in fact.

I have actually done this on occasion, but only to friendly-looking people that come up to the customer service desk.

I'm looking for a book.

-pick up random book from a counter display- Here ya go!

[TWOLF]

the worst ones are when people give kids the phones to play with and your sitting there wondering if you have a problem with your phone since you can hear others talking. the worst was the other day when I had to give our no response script and after the second time I was going to hit the release button when the customer goes will you hold on it takes awhile to get to the phone.

[MrSunshineState]

the worst ones are when people give kids the phones to play with and your sitting there wondering if you have a problem with your phone since you can hear others talking. the worst was the other day when I had to give our no response script and after the second time I was going to hit the release button when the customer goes will you hold on it takes awhile to get to the phone.

When I was on the phones, if I stated my greeting and was met with "Hold on a minute" followed by the sound of a phone being put down, I would hit the release button and go on to the next call.

In my opinion, calling somewhere is JUST LIKE waiting in line. There are other people waiting that need help. You can't get to the front of a line in public and tell the clerk to hold on and go get stuff. You lose your place....period

[Kara]

The funniest dead air call I've ever had was a couple years ago. I repeated my greeting and got no response, and as I started to read the script, I heard a grunting noise. So I stopped, said hello, and got nothing. Then I start hearing this heavy breathing and I'm thinking, "alright, joke's over pervert," when I hear a loud snap. I listened some more, and I realize that something is chewing on the phone. Then I hear some more panting and growling and realized this poor SOB's dog is eating his phone! All I could do was finish reading the script and end the call, but by the time I got to that point I had tears running down my face from laughing so hard.

[TWOLF]

My girlfriends mother got a call where the guy and his other half were having fun and he told her he had to call back.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

*5 second pause*
R: I am unable to establish contact, please call back anytime 24/7 at 1-888-XXX-XXXX, that number again is 1-888-XXX-XXXX
SC: Hello?
Me:

Not only is this guy not the sharpest tool in the shed, someone was taking a file and grinding the edge down.

M

[Pezzle]

Gargh, we aren't scripted at Circuit City but I once put someone on hold for seventy six minutes. I put him on hold to check our inventory then the SM made me help another customer, which put me in the middle of a crowd of them... by the time I'd helped every customer, I'd forgotten about him. 76:34. Couldn't believe it.

[CurlyLocks]

The caller actually stayed on the line for 76 minutes?

[Kara]

My favorite is when you answer the phone and the person on the other end has an echo like they're in a hallway or... *flush* bathroom.

OMG! That is so gross. It's like, I know you have whatever issue, but don't you think you could wait 5 minutes to call me?

The worst one EVER was this woman who called me about something on her bill. It was a few years back, so I don't remember the details but it went something like this.

SC: I want to...URGH!...see what my bill is.
ME: Ok, well, your bill is $XX.XX
SC: NNNGH! Ok. I'll pay that later. Can you tell me...URRRRGH!! ARGH!... how many minutes...*grunt* I used last month? *huffing and puffing*
ME: Um... (something's not right here), sure. You used XXX minutes and-
SC: HURG! UMF! UUUURRGGH!
ME: ...you had..uh... XXX text messages.
SC: HUUUNNMMGH! *fart* UNNNNNGH! *splash* Aaaah.
ME:
SC: *flush* Thank you.
ME: No, thank you! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to vomit.