Fifty Shades of Brown

[fireheart]

Amusingly, back when I worked for TGI Friday's, we would commonly get this idiocy:

CUSTOMER: "I'd like a virgin mudslide, please."
SERVER: "Right. A chocolate shake."
CUSTOMER: "No. A virgin mudslide."
SERVER: "Which is basically a chocolate shake, since we have no way to add the flavors of Kahlua and Bailey's without using booze. Which leaves you with a chocolate shake."
CUSTOMER: "..."

SERIOUSLY?!

[Jay]

Amusingly, back when I worked for TGI Friday's, we would commonly get this idiocy:

CUSTOMER: "I'd like a virgin mudslide, please."
SERVER: "Right. A chocolate shake."
CUSTOMER: "No. A virgin mudslide."
SERVER: "Which is basically a chocolate shake, since we have no way to add the flavors of Kahlua and Bailey's without using booze. Which leaves you with a chocolate shake."
CUSTOMER: "..."

A virgin mud slide doesn't sound half as ignorant as the virgin screwdriver that a customer of mine used to order on a fairly regular basis. Maybe the customer just wanted it in the mudslide glass for appearance sake.

[Jester]

At least they didn't try ordering a virgin Martini, Rusty Nail, or Black Russian.

Olive in a glass; empty glass; Coke.

I heard someone order a virgin Irish Carbomb when I was at a wedding. I don't usually drink, so I was just chatting with the bartenders, learning about how to mix the drinks when this came up. All three bartenders, and myself stopped cold, turned and stared at the person.

Empty beer glass and empty shot glass--no, wait, even I can't joke about this one. This one is so stupid that it makes the virgin mudslide look intelligent by comparison. I mean, what the flying hell are you thinking? This is pretty much just as bad as ordering a virgin shot of tequila. Virgin Irish Car Bomb? Even I hadn't heard of that one before. Wow. Just wow. And then again....wow.

SERIOUSLY?!

Seriously. Not only was this a request, this was a COMMON request.

[AmbrosiaWriter]

Empty beer glass and empty shot glass--no, wait, even I can't joke about this one. This one is so stupid that it makes the virgin mudslide look intelligent by comparison. I mean, what the flying hell are you thinking? This is pretty much just as bad as ordering a virgin shot of tequila. Virgin Irish Car Bomb? Even I hadn't heard of that one before. Wow. Just wow. And then again....wow.

I think the person in question only knew that an "Irish Car Bomb" was just something that "cool people" did and thought it was some kind of mixed drink that just also had a lot of alcohol in it. So he figured it he asked for it virgin he'd be able to guzzle it and look like he could handle it, without realizing it is 100% alcohol.

That is what I think on the matter to keep myself from crying at the stupidity ions that I was subjected to that night. I'm just glad he was in no way related to me by blood. At all.

[Skeen]

M: I’M GOING TO SHOVE THIS TOAST UP HER FUCKING ASS IN A MINUTE!

A co-worker chose that moment to walk out the door. Manager’s voice echoed throughout the whole pub. EVERYONE heard her, including the SC. The SC sheepishly walked up to the bar.

SC: Umm, can you tell the manager it doesn’t matter. I’m not hungry anymore.

SC fled the building.

::slow clap:: That was maybe the most beautiful thing I have ever read.