Wherein Nature Invents a Better Idiot
And I thought the directionless wonder who couldn't find his way to our garage from across the street was bad, but, like most things in life, just when you think you've found the lowest possible level that something can sink to, someone comes along and proves to you that that particular elevator still had a few more floors to drop....
*ring* Hello, Friendly Neighborhood Towing
RED BRICK BUILDING!
Okay, GREEN FEATHER BIRD!
Wait, you aren't just trading spy authentication phrases with me? There's a different reason you called us? Oh, you say you want your car back? Okay, where was it parked?
RED BRICK BUILDING!
Uh, which one? This may shock you, there's MORE THAN ONE RED BRICK BUILDING in this town, Sir. And more than one of them that we offer towing from for the owner
IT WAS A RED BRICK BUILDING!
Okay, what address.... you don't know? What street? don't know that either? You don't know where you were parked? Yes, you told me it was a red brick building, but, without a street address or general idea of what part of town you were towed out of, I'm going to have a very hard time offering you any assistance. Lets make it easy shall we? What kind of car was it?
Oh, You don't know that either?
Plate number, make, model, color, you don't know ANY of those? You were driving it, and you don't even remember what COLOR it was? It was your buddy's car? Okay, point still stands, you don't remember a thing about it, not even the color? I mean, I hope you were at least going to try and find it after you were done using it and return it to him (the fact you noticed it missing and called us looking for it certainly would suggest that) so how were you going to FIND it if you don't even know what it is? Were you just going to try the keys in every car in town until you hit the one that worked? From a purely logical standpoint, I can't fault you for that, using an algorithmic approach means you'll find the answer if it exsists.... but I'm probably giving you way more credit than is due to you. You'll just have to call us back when you have more information about that vehicle, Sir
No, this isn't "poor customer service" , you're asking me if I have something despite being unable to describe to me what it is or where it came from. How am I supposed to do that? It's........ well, I'm going to need some time to come up with a new word that describes the epicness of stupidity and failure you've foisted upon me. I think we've literaly broken new ground in human history here, so good news is, they'll be putting your face in the dictionary right next to that word, whatever they come up with.
I've mentioned people batting .000 before when they come looking for a car, unable to tell me the make/model/plate, but they usually remember where they got towed from, so we can usualy muddle it out.
This gentleman however, this wasn't batting .000. This was failure to find your way from the on deck circle to the plate. No, on second thought, this was a failure to even get to the ballpark, no, scratch that, this was failure to find your way out of the concourse of the airport for the city the ballpark is in after the team plane lands.....
And now the truly frightening fact, children.
HE WAS SOBER!
And I thought the directionless wonder who couldn't find his way to our garage from across the street was bad, but, like most things in life, just when you think you've found the lowest possible level that something can sink to, someone comes along and proves to you that that particular elevator still had a few more floors to drop....
*ring* Hello, Friendly Neighborhood Towing
RED BRICK BUILDING!
Okay, GREEN FEATHER BIRD!
Wait, you aren't just trading spy authentication phrases with me? There's a different reason you called us? Oh, you say you want your car back? Okay, where was it parked?
RED BRICK BUILDING!
Uh, which one? This may shock you, there's MORE THAN ONE RED BRICK BUILDING in this town, Sir. And more than one of them that we offer towing from for the owner
IT WAS A RED BRICK BUILDING!
Okay, what address.... you don't know? What street? don't know that either? You don't know where you were parked? Yes, you told me it was a red brick building, but, without a street address or general idea of what part of town you were towed out of, I'm going to have a very hard time offering you any assistance. Lets make it easy shall we? What kind of car was it?
Oh, You don't know that either?
Plate number, make, model, color, you don't know ANY of those? You were driving it, and you don't even remember what COLOR it was? It was your buddy's car? Okay, point still stands, you don't remember a thing about it, not even the color? I mean, I hope you were at least going to try and find it after you were done using it and return it to him (the fact you noticed it missing and called us looking for it certainly would suggest that) so how were you going to FIND it if you don't even know what it is? Were you just going to try the keys in every car in town until you hit the one that worked? From a purely logical standpoint, I can't fault you for that, using an algorithmic approach means you'll find the answer if it exsists.... but I'm probably giving you way more credit than is due to you. You'll just have to call us back when you have more information about that vehicle, Sir
No, this isn't "poor customer service" , you're asking me if I have something despite being unable to describe to me what it is or where it came from. How am I supposed to do that? It's........ well, I'm going to need some time to come up with a new word that describes the epicness of stupidity and failure you've foisted upon me. I think we've literaly broken new ground in human history here, so good news is, they'll be putting your face in the dictionary right next to that word, whatever they come up with.
I've mentioned people batting .000 before when they come looking for a car, unable to tell me the make/model/plate, but they usually remember where they got towed from, so we can usualy muddle it out.
This gentleman however, this wasn't batting .000. This was failure to find your way from the on deck circle to the plate. No, on second thought, this was a failure to even get to the ballpark, no, scratch that, this was failure to find your way out of the concourse of the airport for the city the ballpark is in after the team plane lands.....
And now the truly frightening fact, children.
HE WAS SOBER!

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