Shrek 5

[Iseeyouthere]

I'm just having a hard time wrapping my brain around the first one.

Customer wants pub to close because the disable loo is down for service.

But doesn't want the pub to close because he's having a drink?

KERNEL PANIC - Error in Customer Logic module caused a fatal system crash. User will be rebooted in 60 seconds.

Given how many people think employees are robots...
Heh... I just had a thought.
If all the employees were robots, then that type of question would cause them all to crash, effectively closing the pub.

[Mr Hero]

If all employees are robots, I want to get away with saying "Bite my shiny metal ass"

[froglet]

I feel much the same way.

I'd also love to go over to the UK just to go to CRML's pub and give the SCs the crap they deserve. Of course, that'd be the one night that nobody is sucky...

That'd make for a nice vacation for CRML though, wouldn't it? A shift without suck!

[Eevie]

Reading over this I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. You poor thing.

Also the people dressed as Shrek...

[lordlundar]

SC: What are you doing?
YG: This is going on Facebook under the tag: Moaning old man expects far too much from a £3 meal.

Well played YG!

He walked away with his nose in the air.

Guy probably needs an umbrella on hand all the time or he'd drown when it rains.

[depechemodefan]

The scs in the second story take the cake. One guy egging the other to call the manager. Wish the manager kicked out both guys.

[Jay 2K Winger]

I'm just having a hard time wrapping my brain around the first one.

Customer wants pub to close because the disable loo is down for service.

But doesn't want the pub to close because he's having a drink?

KERNEL PANIC - Error in Customer Logic module caused a fatal system crash. User will be rebooted in 60 seconds.

Oop, it happened again. One second...

#include booze.h
#include sanity.h

Now let's give Mongo a reboot, and we should be fine.

[PandaHat]

The scs in the second story take the cake. One guy egging the other to call the manager. Wish the manager kicked out both guys.

Fixed it for you.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

SC: I say, hello? Vodka tonic please?

I don't know why you say goodbye. I say hello.

[PepperElf]

i like how the one ass is shouting "I am your customer!" ... as if the other customers ahead of him weren't customers.

[Ironclad Alibi]

KERNEL PANIC - Error in Customer Logic module caused a fatal system crash. User will be rebooted in 60 seconds.

The way it should have been.

As for the guy sampling ales, my favorite pub sells a tray of samplers if you want to sample them all. Might be something to consider.

[Jester]

My bar has a good selection of craft beers. Like many bars that serve craft beers, including at least one other such bar in this town, we offer a sampler platter of beers, wherein you get a specific number of beers, you choose which beers go on the platter, and you receive miniature versions of those beers. Each bar does it differently, but the basic premise is the same.

That being said, if someone at my bar or even in the dining room wants a small taste of Beer X, if it is on draft, we will gladly give them said sample. (Obviously this is not realistic to do with the bottled beers.) And I've had a few people ask for samples of more than one beer. Which is somewhat okay.

But if some scamming jackhole actually wanted to try a sample of every one of the beers we have, I and the other bartenders would tell them that it's simply not going to happen. Yes, the samples we give are far smaller than what you would get with the beer sampler. Just tastes, really. But at a certain point, it goes from trying to decide if you want this beer or that beer to being abuse of the kindness of the establishment and its employees.

On the flip side of this, as a customer and beer lover, I have asked for samples, or tastes. Most places are happy to oblige....within reason. Some places go above and beyond: I was at a beer bar in Houston, and asked about a few beers, simply trying to pick the brain of the bartender in regards to those beers. The lovely young lady helping me out gave me tastes (without charge) of at least a half dozen of their draft beers, far beyond what I had asked for or expected. I was very grateful. And, when I got the bill for the two full beers I did have there, I tipped her handsomely for both the tastings and her professional insight into the beers we discussed. (My bill: $6. I gave her $20, and told her to keep the change. She earned it.)

My point with the Houston story is that I did not expect such copious samplings, but was pleasantly surprised and grateful when I got them. AND that I tipped my server well for the service, and the probably inconvenience to her, as the bar was anything but slow that night.

The guy in the OP was the opposite, insisting on trying each and every beer. There is a word for for that: ridiculous. Of course, part of the problem lies with management, for allowing such shenanigans to continue each time that yahoo comes in the door. At some point, they need to put their foot down and say "Enough!"