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Auto Repair Chronicles: Glenda Goldleaf and other notorious SCs
Background: I own 2 auto repair shops specializing in a costly European brand. I don't suffer lookie-loos, time bandits, or free brain-pickers gladly, but sometimes you gotta tolerate a high-spend, high-maintenance customer in this biz.
Glenda Goldleaf Glenda DOES spend money, you have to give her that, but she has a way of hounding you with questions at every step of the visit, waaaay up at the far end of the bell curve of questions asked/visit.
Most people ask questions because they anticipate and value the answer, like a little intellectual gold coin. They ask a sensible question, you give a meaningful answer, everyone is satisfied and on to the next step of the conversation/gold coin of wisdom. Not Glenda. She takes her first gold coin and has to POUND it hard in every way possible, until it has been beaten down into the thinnest gold leaf, mere atoms thick; you could see light through it and it's now bigger than a king bedsheet. Only then is she ready to go on to the next part of the conversation. One down 8 recommendations to go, yippee!
One time it was about a glove box lock the size of a walnut and installs in 30 seconds, how complicated can we make this? Well it is a fast mover and obsolete even in the aftermarket and we are sold out of used ones BUT GUESS WHAT We have a brand new Genuine part on the shelf, only one in Los Angeles County, list is over $100. Inquiring about this involved three phone calls, one of which dragged on over 5 minutes with a hapless new adviser (second week on the job but had ALL relevant details at hand) then she calls Senior Manager at the other shop to spend 5 more minutes alternately complaining about the "rude" new girl and trying to get a lower price out of Senior Manager, who is also not only also already hip to Glenda's modus operandi, but jaded by it from repeated exposure.
Finally, MONTHS later the car comes in 3,000 miles late for service. Glenda has learned to make do with an off-brand pack of rolling papers (unopened, no way this uptight woman is even a sometime, closet toker) wedged in the glovebox door, plus more than enough clear tape, turning gooey even in the wan winter rays of sunny Los Angeles. She revisits the discussion about her broken glovebox lock, with a GOTCHA!-toned, "I thought you told me $80!" Pound, pound, pound; it takes a long time to get beyond, "That was for the used option which we didn't have and still don't have but still have the new [dealer not cheap aftermarket] one."
Later, get the car in the bay and examine it. The glovebox lock itself looks suspiciously brand new (they are all over ebay for those who don't expect one NAO!! over the phone but for cheap) BUT she SWEARS UP AND DOWN ITS THE ORIGINAL AND KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT IT. The ACTUAL PROBLEM, after all of this? The part of the box that the lock catches has broken away in a large, obvious chunk, which the most basic Scooby Doo detective skills could discern had fallen down to the hinge, been repeatedly slammed upon preventing the door from closing till it was broken up several ways, the pieces of which were then carefully collected and put in the glovebox proper.
The glovebox BOX is ALSO a fast mover, obsolete, and sold out locally; Glenda pounds and pounds on why we can't get one when she called us about it (months ago asking about the lock) and she dropped off after 11am on Friday and is fretting about returning her rental. Several denials of any knowlege of all the broken plastic are sandwiched with pleas of, "but it's the LOCK that's not workinnnnng!" Finally on to the rest of the recommendations.
25 grueling minutes later she has agreed to do "everything" including a transmission remove and reseal, front suspension, and heater fan motor that they basically build the car around; all told for over $1800, now casually musing, do you think it will be ready Wednesday or Thursday? Wait, I can't come till at least Thursday anyway..."
This is why some service managers refuse to answer a phone at home on the weekend!
********************
Warranty Willie Calls up the shop, "Hi, do you do warranty work?"
Yes, we are capable of doing warranty work (begin spiel about how [Manufacturer] prefers to reimburse dealers for it as they are contractually obligated to do warranty work for peanuts...)
"Oh, well it's not through [Manufacturer]!"
...
Okay, who administers this warranty?
"Oh, it is by the lot I bought the car from. It's a 30 day warranty."
Facepalm.
Okay, if you just bought it, you should check with the place you just bought it from FIRST.
"Do you guys charge to look at it?"
Yes, we charge $XX
"Even though it's under warranty?"
Facepalm. Yes.
"Well, my engine is making a knocking noise."
Okay, would you like us to check that out for you or...?
"Ummm... (long pause, hamster walking on the wheel in his brain) I think what I'll do is take it to the place I bought it from, and let them check it out first."
Sounds like a good plan.
"{click}"
-Automan
Glenda Goldleaf Glenda DOES spend money, you have to give her that, but she has a way of hounding you with questions at every step of the visit, waaaay up at the far end of the bell curve of questions asked/visit.
Most people ask questions because they anticipate and value the answer, like a little intellectual gold coin. They ask a sensible question, you give a meaningful answer, everyone is satisfied and on to the next step of the conversation/gold coin of wisdom. Not Glenda. She takes her first gold coin and has to POUND it hard in every way possible, until it has been beaten down into the thinnest gold leaf, mere atoms thick; you could see light through it and it's now bigger than a king bedsheet. Only then is she ready to go on to the next part of the conversation. One down 8 recommendations to go, yippee!
One time it was about a glove box lock the size of a walnut and installs in 30 seconds, how complicated can we make this? Well it is a fast mover and obsolete even in the aftermarket and we are sold out of used ones BUT GUESS WHAT We have a brand new Genuine part on the shelf, only one in Los Angeles County, list is over $100. Inquiring about this involved three phone calls, one of which dragged on over 5 minutes with a hapless new adviser (second week on the job but had ALL relevant details at hand) then she calls Senior Manager at the other shop to spend 5 more minutes alternately complaining about the "rude" new girl and trying to get a lower price out of Senior Manager, who is also not only also already hip to Glenda's modus operandi, but jaded by it from repeated exposure.
Finally, MONTHS later the car comes in 3,000 miles late for service. Glenda has learned to make do with an off-brand pack of rolling papers (unopened, no way this uptight woman is even a sometime, closet toker) wedged in the glovebox door, plus more than enough clear tape, turning gooey even in the wan winter rays of sunny Los Angeles. She revisits the discussion about her broken glovebox lock, with a GOTCHA!-toned, "I thought you told me $80!" Pound, pound, pound; it takes a long time to get beyond, "That was for the used option which we didn't have and still don't have but still have the new [dealer not cheap aftermarket] one."
Later, get the car in the bay and examine it. The glovebox lock itself looks suspiciously brand new (they are all over ebay for those who don't expect one NAO!! over the phone but for cheap) BUT she SWEARS UP AND DOWN ITS THE ORIGINAL AND KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT IT. The ACTUAL PROBLEM, after all of this? The part of the box that the lock catches has broken away in a large, obvious chunk, which the most basic Scooby Doo detective skills could discern had fallen down to the hinge, been repeatedly slammed upon preventing the door from closing till it was broken up several ways, the pieces of which were then carefully collected and put in the glovebox proper.
The glovebox BOX is ALSO a fast mover, obsolete, and sold out locally; Glenda pounds and pounds on why we can't get one when she called us about it (months ago asking about the lock) and she dropped off after 11am on Friday and is fretting about returning her rental. Several denials of any knowlege of all the broken plastic are sandwiched with pleas of, "but it's the LOCK that's not workinnnnng!" Finally on to the rest of the recommendations.
25 grueling minutes later she has agreed to do "everything" including a transmission remove and reseal, front suspension, and heater fan motor that they basically build the car around; all told for over $1800, now casually musing, do you think it will be ready Wednesday or Thursday? Wait, I can't come till at least Thursday anyway..."
This is why some service managers refuse to answer a phone at home on the weekend!
********************
Warranty Willie Calls up the shop, "Hi, do you do warranty work?"
Yes, we are capable of doing warranty work (begin spiel about how [Manufacturer] prefers to reimburse dealers for it as they are contractually obligated to do warranty work for peanuts...)
"Oh, well it's not through [Manufacturer]!"
...
Okay, who administers this warranty?
"Oh, it is by the lot I bought the car from. It's a 30 day warranty."
Facepalm.
Okay, if you just bought it, you should check with the place you just bought it from FIRST."Do you guys charge to look at it?"
Yes, we charge $XX
"Even though it's under warranty?"
Facepalm. Yes.
"Well, my engine is making a knocking noise."
Okay, would you like us to check that out for you or...?
"Ummm... (long pause, hamster walking on the wheel in his brain) I think what I'll do is take it to the place I bought it from, and let them check it out first."
Sounds like a good plan.
"{click}"
-Automan
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