WTF? 3 mins!?

[allniter]

Sometimes I wish the company would buy me a plane ticket so I can go to people's door and hit them in the nose with a rolled up newspaper.

Why go all that way just to use a rolled up newspaper? Here, borrow my hammer.

[ShockQueen]

The only sweating I do is comically oversized and hangs only from my left temple.

Thanks Juwl......I gotta remember NOT to eat ramen while reading your replies.....or drinking Pepsi. Uck.....

[Jester]

Sometimes I wish the company would buy me a plane ticket so I can go to people's door and hit them in the nose with a rolled up newspaper.

Just a newspaper? Come now. There are so many better options. For example:

Sledghammer, baseball bat, golf club, lead pipe, two by four, clue by four, four by four (off road on their ass!), mallet, wrench, tire iron, spare tire, crowbar, closet door, police baton, twirler baton (hey, the can hurt!), animal bone, club, mace, morning star, staff, broomstick, mop handle, microphone stand, folding chair, desk chair, patio chair, armchair, recliner chair, loveseat, couch, sofa, riding crop, bullwhip, rifle butt, whiskey bottle, mason jar, ceramic pot, flower pot, battle axe, hatchet, wooden dowel, nunchuks, katana, sword, dagger, hardcover copy of War and Peace, lamp, bed frame, car fender, car bumper, bumper car, bumper pool table, pool cue, cue ball, basketball, baseball, football, golf ball, volley ball, soccer ball, VCR, eight track player, DVD player, television, radio, stereo speaker, steering wheel, pane of plate glass, serving tray, rubber hose, blackjack, dead fish, live fish, fishing rod, PVC pipe, fan blade, car door, cane, crutch, walking stick, ski pole, ski, water ski, skateboard, snowboard, fork, knife, cleaver, frying pan, sauce pan, Peter Pan, cutting board, backboard, snow shovel, spade, rake, or perhaps sign post?

Keep in mind I am only suggesting better things you can DREAM about hitting them with than a rolled up newspaper.

I am not in ANY WAY advocating violence against any SCs.

[Kusanagi]

Did anyone else read Jester's post to the tune of "Hardware Store" by Wierd Al?