Tweet
This isn't so much a bad story, as just a rather funny one. You've got to hear the whole thing for it to make sense though, so bear with me if this runs long.
Christmas 2006, I got an Xbox 360. Remember the story "Fire Bad"? Well for those who don't, the Xbox burned up. Literally. It had been traded in bad to an EB, and EB had never checked it out.
So, I got a new one from Rhino (now EB of all things) and life was good. Much game playing ensued. For a little under three months, I had fun. Then, I bought Oblivion.
TES Oblivion is a great game, but it must be cursed. For me, it was the bearer of bad news and bugs.
Playing around eighty total hours (yeah, it's that long) I start having problems. The "Red checker board of death they call it." Oh this can't be good. No, life is not good. Clouds form. Anger rising. Urge to kill rising...rising...
So, I call up tech support. The techie goes through his script of unplug this, do that, are you sure it's not the game? Check if it's not the game. No, I can wait. So, It wasn't the game? Oh well, you have to send it to Texas.
WHAT!? I'm not paying that! Oh, wait I don't have to pay? Never mind...nothing to see here.
So, I send the Xbox off, and life is slow. Days pass. Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, months into years. In my case, I only made it to weeks. The Xbox comes back, and again life is good, or so it seems. However, all is not well.
Looking at the box, I notice that one corner of it is crumpled in. This is a bad omen, I'm certain. Even so I plug the thing up and everything works fine. Oblivion goes in and I play about an hour before...oh god not again.
Pulling the HD and the game out, I try again and nothing changes. Urge to kill rising! Grabbing the phone, I call tech support. Here's where it gets really funny. REALLY funny.
T=Tech
M=(Duh)
T=Thank you for calling Xbox what is the nature of your problem.
M=My Xbox's screen is wonky.
T=Wonky?
M=Uh, yeah. sorry. The picture is corrupted, but it's not the redcheckerboard thing.
T=So it's showing the red checker..
M=No, that's just it. It's not.
T=... Uh. Hang on here...(silence with keytaps) Uh. Ok, what's it doing again?
M= (explains the whole problem.)
T= (silence) Uh. I have...never heard of that problem before.
M= *blink*
T= (more silence) uh. Could you hang on. I need to talk to my super on this one.
M=(spends about fifteen minutes on hold)
T= Have you tried cleaning the AV cable?
M=(cleans the AV cable) "It got worse."
T= (Sounds like he's taking notes.) "Do...not...suggest...cleaning...av...cable...make s...problem...worse."
M= (trying not to laugh picturing him writing that down)
T=Ok, is it set in HD...oh wait, sorry, forget that. Uh. What's it doing right now?
M=Screen's normal, and...wait it's back.
T=Did you do anything to it?
M=I touched it.
T= Sounds like me. My GF won't let me touch anything because of that. Super's back. Let me talk at him again.
M=MORE HOLD. Longer this time.
T=Uh...You sure it's not the...oh, no wait, you're in dashboard. Yeah it's not the game.
T= Uh....(he sounds totally lost by now. Not sure what to say or do. I can only imagine him staring at his screen with the little suggestions of problems that can go wrong, only to find he has no answer.) My supervisor wants to talk to you. I'm escalating this.
A few moments later, I'm on hold again. The supervisor comes on and sounds just as confused as the other guy. Though, he tells me less. After about fifteen more minutes of poking around in my file, the super notes that I had it repaired once before. Furthermore, I'm calling less than an hour after getting the original back. I'm escalated again.
This next guy can tell me something, though he seems as shocked as the others.
T=Mister Repsac, I've been uh...doing some research on your file and I need you to, if you don't mind, please send in your unit again. (He then goes on this long spiel of how sorry he is)
When he's done, I agree and wait for my confirmation number. Every other word out of the guy's mouth is about how sorry he is this happened, that it wasn't Xbox's fault, and they'll make good on it.
Of course, I'm wondering what the heck's going on. I just wanted the thing fixed. So, after a while the Techie goes quiet, reads a few things and then says quote:
Look, I'm sorry for all the trouble you've been through. To make it up to you we're sending you a copy of Gears of War for all your troubles. The box should be there in three days. (Tomarrow, may 1st)
Epilogue:
Maybe it's not as funny as I thought, but just the mental picture of a techie that's blown away by a problem. I found out later from a friend of mine that it's possible they were so appologetic about it because UPS had dropped the box; causing the error. The friend said he heard somewhere about a guy who sued Xbox (not MS. Xbox is a company) because UPS had dropped their Xbox in transit.
Christmas 2006, I got an Xbox 360. Remember the story "Fire Bad"? Well for those who don't, the Xbox burned up. Literally. It had been traded in bad to an EB, and EB had never checked it out.
So, I got a new one from Rhino (now EB of all things) and life was good. Much game playing ensued. For a little under three months, I had fun. Then, I bought Oblivion.
TES Oblivion is a great game, but it must be cursed. For me, it was the bearer of bad news and bugs.
Playing around eighty total hours (yeah, it's that long) I start having problems. The "Red checker board of death they call it." Oh this can't be good. No, life is not good. Clouds form. Anger rising. Urge to kill rising...rising...
So, I call up tech support. The techie goes through his script of unplug this, do that, are you sure it's not the game? Check if it's not the game. No, I can wait. So, It wasn't the game? Oh well, you have to send it to Texas.
WHAT!? I'm not paying that! Oh, wait I don't have to pay? Never mind...nothing to see here.
So, I send the Xbox off, and life is slow. Days pass. Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, months into years. In my case, I only made it to weeks. The Xbox comes back, and again life is good, or so it seems. However, all is not well.
Looking at the box, I notice that one corner of it is crumpled in. This is a bad omen, I'm certain. Even so I plug the thing up and everything works fine. Oblivion goes in and I play about an hour before...oh god not again.
Pulling the HD and the game out, I try again and nothing changes. Urge to kill rising! Grabbing the phone, I call tech support. Here's where it gets really funny. REALLY funny.
T=Tech
M=(Duh)
T=Thank you for calling Xbox what is the nature of your problem.
M=My Xbox's screen is wonky.
T=Wonky?
M=Uh, yeah. sorry. The picture is corrupted, but it's not the redcheckerboard thing.
T=So it's showing the red checker..
M=No, that's just it. It's not.
T=... Uh. Hang on here...(silence with keytaps) Uh. Ok, what's it doing again?
M= (explains the whole problem.)
T= (silence) Uh. I have...never heard of that problem before.
M= *blink*
T= (more silence) uh. Could you hang on. I need to talk to my super on this one.
M=(spends about fifteen minutes on hold)
T= Have you tried cleaning the AV cable?
M=(cleans the AV cable) "It got worse."
T= (Sounds like he's taking notes.) "Do...not...suggest...cleaning...av...cable...make s...problem...worse."
M= (trying not to laugh picturing him writing that down)
T=Ok, is it set in HD...oh wait, sorry, forget that. Uh. What's it doing right now?
M=Screen's normal, and...wait it's back.
T=Did you do anything to it?
M=I touched it.
T= Sounds like me. My GF won't let me touch anything because of that. Super's back. Let me talk at him again.
M=MORE HOLD. Longer this time.
T=Uh...You sure it's not the...oh, no wait, you're in dashboard. Yeah it's not the game.
T= Uh....(he sounds totally lost by now. Not sure what to say or do. I can only imagine him staring at his screen with the little suggestions of problems that can go wrong, only to find he has no answer.) My supervisor wants to talk to you. I'm escalating this.
A few moments later, I'm on hold again. The supervisor comes on and sounds just as confused as the other guy. Though, he tells me less. After about fifteen more minutes of poking around in my file, the super notes that I had it repaired once before. Furthermore, I'm calling less than an hour after getting the original back. I'm escalated again.
This next guy can tell me something, though he seems as shocked as the others.
T=Mister Repsac, I've been uh...doing some research on your file and I need you to, if you don't mind, please send in your unit again. (He then goes on this long spiel of how sorry he is)
When he's done, I agree and wait for my confirmation number. Every other word out of the guy's mouth is about how sorry he is this happened, that it wasn't Xbox's fault, and they'll make good on it.
Of course, I'm wondering what the heck's going on. I just wanted the thing fixed. So, after a while the Techie goes quiet, reads a few things and then says quote:
Look, I'm sorry for all the trouble you've been through. To make it up to you we're sending you a copy of Gears of War for all your troubles. The box should be there in three days. (Tomarrow, may 1st)
Epilogue:
Maybe it's not as funny as I thought, but just the mental picture of a techie that's blown away by a problem. I found out later from a friend of mine that it's possible they were so appologetic about it because UPS had dropped the box; causing the error. The friend said he heard somewhere about a guy who sued Xbox (not MS. Xbox is a company) because UPS had dropped their Xbox in transit.
I AM the evil bastard!
Comment