You can't really be this stupid, can you?

[draggar]

A customer comes in with a newer model phone (named after an (in)famous character in Star Trek (TNG and Voy) series) and email issues.

She said it worked fine until she reset the device this morning to erase her contacts (red flag!).

Her information is patchy, at best. In a nutshell, she (well, the story started) that she works for a web company (I won't get into details) and her email though them wasn't working. Normally we can't touch this but our supervisor was in the store (asserting her dominance as usual) and had me call tech support for this lady (ugh).

I'm on hold and I try a few things and try to get enough information out of her to figure out what's going on. I tell her she needs to get her POP3, SMTP, username and password for her email in order to set it up.

She said she never needed that information before. (OK, then how did you access email though Outlook without it?).

I told her this is required, her IT department should have all the information for her. Then, she says that it is her website, she's the one who set it all up. (Oh go no, not one of these). She assures me she set up and is running the site using the "latest HTML" (does anyone still us HTML for an entire web based business (BTW - it seemed like a news type of site))??

So then I go on, who is your hosting company? She isn't sure. She doesn't remember who she pays for it nor what website they have,

Well, she's assuring me she doesn't have a password for her email (nice security) nor does she know if it's POP3 or IMAP. (god help me, please!! Thor, give me strength!!)

I finally get tech support on the phone and the customer takes the phone from me. She asks the person's name and she says "I spoke to you before and I know you can't help me, I want to speak to someone else". Yikes!

Well, I get the second person on the phone and he's able to get the device sending mail though my company's SMTP server (YAY!!) and he says "Since it's sending email OK, then everything is working on our end" (in other words, we can't do anything else for the lady).

I let the rep go and the lady and I go back and fourth. We cannot troubleshoot her email though her own server, she needs to contact the hosting company for that.

How the hell can this lady call herself a webmaster when you don't even know any of the informatuion that you need to know?

Sure, I run about 10 sites, I may not know the exacts, but I know the SMTP and POP3, I know the basics, and if I forget, I know where to get it.

[HawaiianShirts]

You've reminded me of a couple of my customers.

Like "Corporate Lawyer Guy" who bought a laptop and let his brother sleep on it like it was a pillow. And he was surprised that the screen cracked.

Like the "programmers" who tell me they are certified with various programming languages and such. That's great, but they still need some form of virus protection. I tell them that, though our store offers professional installation and configuration of security suites, I do not care where or how they get their internet security. Just get it. They decline my offer of the professional work, which is fine. But several times now (two I can remember by name), those "programmers" have brought back their computers because of some problem. We've discovered that they have no security, are running some peer-to-peer filesharing program, and are severely infected with viruses and other malware. Some replace their computer with a new one instead of fixing it and STILL insist they don't need security.

Like the people who would call in to the call center I worked at for business credit cards. In some cases, I could hear crickets chirping after I asked if their business was for-profit or not-for-profit.

And the guy who bragged about how many thousands of dollars he made each month with his business while insisting that he wanted the American Express Visa Mastercard. I couldn't convince him that such a thing didn't exist.

And to think we share the roadways with these people.

[JustADude]

American Express Visa Mastercard..

I hate you, HawaiianShirts! Because of you I just lost 2,385.53 brain-cells that I can never replace!

[Sandman]

You've reminded me of a couple of my customers.

Like the "programmers" who tell me they are certified with various programming languages and such. That's great, but they still need some form of virus protection. I tell them that, though our store offers professional installation and configuration of security suites, I do not care where or how they get their internet security. Just get it. They decline my offer of the professional work, which is fine. But several times now (two I can remember by name), those "programmers" have brought back their computers because of some problem. We've discovered that they have no security, are running some peer-to-peer filesharing program, and are severely infected with viruses and other malware. Some replace their computer with a new one instead of fixing it and STILL insist they don't need security.

Those are the ones I call out on the carpet about. I tell them "I thought you knew about this stuff, since you said you were a programmer!"

They turn beet red and let me tell them what they need.

[lordlundar]

You can't really be this stupid, can you?

Never bet against stupidity. You'll lose every time.

[BravoOrig]

We had a customer who claimed to work for some other ISP or be a network administrator call in the other night. He kept getting our registration page because he was either temporarily shutoff or nonpay or just got our service, I'm not clear on which one. Well after he completed registration or was turned back on, his modem reset and was giving out a new ip address, but his router didn't pick it up. You can easily fix this by power cycling your router, right? No! He refused to do that but blamed the fact that he kept getting the same page on us saying it was our equipment. So the first rep went back and forth with him till he asked for a Supervisor, who got on the phone and basically questioned his working for an ISP, stated he already had his degree when questioned, and told him he should know that equipment may need to be power cycled after changes are made.

[InverseHellion]

I saw the thread title, and before I even clicked it to read I knew the answer was 'yes'. Wow where did my faith in humanity go?

[Kilamon]

How the hell can this lady call herself a webmaster when you don't even know any of the informatuion that you need to know?

As a certified Webmaster, I can tell you. They do it because they read a primer on HTML. That's it. They get an AOL account, a free space like geocities, write a couple pages in FrontPage and they think they're the bomb.

That right there is why I pursued certification AND why I couldn't find a job in the 90s as a webmaster. These idiots add layers of complexity to normal stupid. A real webmaster must know how to install, maintain and do more than content management. The individuals who identify themselves as a webmaster to me get nothing more than an, "oh? Where did you get your cert from? I got mine from the National Association of Communications Systems Engineers. I wonder, did you find that the latest version of Apache had a flawed installation on Gentoo?" *wait for ensuing blank look* "Oh, I must have misunderstood you. You're a web publisher, not a webmaster? Do you use Frontpage?" *wait for gleam of acknowledgement, stupid ramblings about how great so and so site is, blah blah, send person back to cube*.

[Dria]

As a certified Webmaster, I can tell you. They do it because they read a primer on HTML. That's it. They get an AOL account, a free space like geocities, write a couple pages in FrontPage and they think they're the bomb.

I remember when that was me, calling myself a webmaster. Geocities had more space than I'd ever need, Frontpage laid things out so nicely, and MS Paint was a bit limited but I could do some nice things with it.

And then I turned eleven. I was already starting to hate Frontpage.

[Dips]

Like the "programmers" who tell me they are certified with various programming languages and such.

That reminds me of the Supreme Dipshit [TM Irving Patrick Freleigh] who called me a liar and cited his broad experience with various operating systems, including Windows 97.

The good news was it was in an email and I didn't end up laughing in his face.

The bad news was it was in an email and I usually drink coffee while reading work emails.

[protege]

That reminds me of the Supreme Dipshit [TM Irving Patrick Freleigh] who called me a liar and cited his broad experience with various operating systems, including Windows 97.

Actually, there was a Windows 97. It was just Windows 95 with a slightly different splash screen. Needless to say, some people at my college were a bit freaked out by that...especially since we had Win95 on the older (crap) machines, and Win98 on the newer (still crap!) ones

[Gurndigarn]

And the guy who bragged about how many thousands of dollars he made each month with his business while insisting that he wanted the American Express Visa Mastercard.

I hate you, HawaiianShirts! Because of you I just lost 2,385.53 brain-cells that I can never replace!

It's offered by Discover.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Hey! I trademarked something and I don't even remember it!



The term "dipshit" is not used nearly often enough to describe somebody. Nor is "sperm-burping bar slut" or "tragic aftermath of a horribly misaimed secret handshake"

EDIT!-I found the thread in question. You never posted the MST3K of that "encounter". C'mon, don't leave me hanging here Dips!

[Dips]

Actually, there was a Windows 97.

<snip>

Cool.

I did not know that.

You never posted the MST3K of that "encounter". C'mon, don't leave me hanging here Dips!

Done! I appended it to the end of the OP in that thread. Just follow the link and scroll down in the first post:

http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...ad.php?t=10212