Don't lie to me

[technical.angel]

Got another one who would rather lie to me than tell me the truth.

SS= Sucky Student
Me= Well, me.

SS "I can't get online! I keep getting this message about a problem with the website's security certificate."
Me "You'll need to to click "Continue to this website"."
SS "There's nothing like that on the page!"
Me "Can you read the entire page to me?"
SS reads "blah blah blah "continue to this website". But I clicked that before and it didn't do anything."
Me So you did click it, eh?

[draggar]

Oh why do people lie to tech support?? WHY WHY WHY??

Lying just makes the whole process longer and more painful for us.

DO NOT LIE!!!!!!!!!

[Pedersen]

My theory on why they lie: Because they don't want to admit to having made a mistake of some sort.

Too bad, really, because I don't think people are idiots for making mistakes. These things happen. No, I think they're idiots when they let those mistakes grow by failing to own up to them, and thereby making everybody's lives miserable.

[Geek King]

Then, because of people like this, my roommate gets to hear conversations that go like this:

"Yes, everytime I log onto the training website, my PC reboots."

"Yes, I'll hold"

"Hello. Uh-huh. That's right. Reboots."

"No, seriously."

"Um, okaaay....I'll unplug them."

"Nope, rebooting again."

"No, I only have five cables back there now."

"Five. Monitor, network, keyboard, mouse, and power."

"No, honestly. I did unplug them."

"Yes, I'm using the correct ActiveX."

"Of course I looked."

"Yes, right there. It says, "<<reads off exact wording>>"

"Right."

"No, I'm not lying..."

"Wait, wait! Hold on! Why would I lie about this? I want this to work too."

"No.....ma'am....if I could..."<sigh>

"Look, please stop accusing me..."

"I AM NOT LYING TO YOU"

"By all means, please DO transfer me"

<<repeats problem>>

"The video on the site is doing that to some computers?"

"Huh. Okay, I'll try back in a bit when you've removed it."

"Great, Thank you. Have a good day."

[technical.angel]

My theory on why they lie: Because they don't want to admit to having made a mistake of some sort.

Well, when they have on-site support available, I think they lie to make someone come and fix it for them, so they don't have to do ANYTHING... Like the two people who made me stay on the phone with them the ENTIRE time they went through Windows updates...........................

[Pedersen]

Like the two people who made me stay on the phone with them the ENTIRE time they went through Windows updates...........................

Ah, an update to the theory is required: Lie to avoid admitting a mistake. And keep the tech person on the phone so that when the boss asks why something isn't done you can honestly reply "But I was on the phone with tech support about my computer all afternoon yesterday!"

[MadRocketScientist]

I had one professor I used to support who thought himself smart enough to tweak his own laptop. Then he'd break it and call me. When I asked him what he did, his standard response was "Nothing".

Listen buddy, Windows NT does not magically 'decide' to reduce the pagefile to 20 MB when the hard disk is almost full. I had it set to 384 MB for a reason. You did not want to take the time to clean off your hard drive to the back-up server and decided to instead free up some more disk space. You only have 256 MB* RAM, NT sucked that down before it was done booting, no wonder you can not get Office to work.

*Don't quote me on the numbers, but you get the idea.

[gunsage]

Strangely, I get less of the customer lying and more of other agents lying. I've provided other examples, but here's an interesting one that resulted in PARAGRAPHS of negative feedback. I will attempt to remember as much as possible about it, because it's rather humorous, looking back on it now...

Me: Um...me.
T2: Tier 2 agent with balls, but no brains.

Me: "* Blah Blah Support *, level 3 department, this is * Gun Sage *, how I can help?"
T2: "Yeah, I got a customer here who needs their modem provisioned."

Normally these are REALLY EASY, REALLY FAST calls. Under normal circumstances, I would be more than willing to just take the customer over, even without the ticket, phone number, etc., because IF that's really what it is, it's a 5 minute or less call. All I do is send transmissions to the modem, BAM, you're up!

However, I've learned to distrust agents, unfortunately, and as a result, I typically ask for more info. Therefore...

Me: "Okay, what's the phone number."
T2 reads off phone number.
Me: "Alright, it's Mr. Such-and-such?"
T2: "Yes, that's correct."

In the meantime, I ATTEMPT (deliberate emphasis) to pull up the modem diagnostics...it's taking forever. I keep asking questions.

Me: "Hmm...it's having a hard time pulling this up..."
T2: "I've got a ticket number if that helps!"

WHY WOULD THAT HELP?

Me: "Sure, let me get my ticket checking system up." (wait, wait, wait) "Okay, what is it?"
T2 relays ticket. I look over the notes. The diagnostics are STILL loading. I note a few problems with the ticket. They're relatively minor, but could be construed as misleading.
Me: "This says transferred to local office."
T2: "Well, that's what you are."
Me: "Uh, we're level 3."
T2: (Gets flustered and...) "Well, WHATEVER, it's the same building!"

Strike one. At least it keeps him talking, but WHY haven't the diagnostics loaded up yet? Maybe something more's going here? I'm about to find out.

Me: "These diagnostics still haven't loaded. What happens when he tries to get online?"
T2: "Well, he can't!"
Me: "No, I understand that, but what happens? Does he get an error message, or-"
T2: "He can't get online!"

Now I'm getting very suspicious. Why is he being evasive? Our modems have a default state I've come to know as "Automated Provisioning" or "autoprov" for short. As has been described to me, when you get a new modem and it doesn't have any data yet, when you try to get online it gives you a welcome page with your MAC address and advised you to contact your ISP.

Here's the problem...this guy is claiming the customer can't get on, which would still be true, but you'd think he would've mentioned the MAC address. So why didn't he? Well...

Me: "Well, let me ask you this...when he attempts to get online, does he see a MAC address?"
T2: "No, he doesn't!"

AH-HA! Strike two!

Me: "Well that right there tells you he's not in autoprov."
T2: (Deep breath and then LIMIT BREAK: ANGER) "LOOK, ALL WE'RE SUPPOSED TO DO IS FOLLOW THESE STEPS AND TRANSFER ON UP!"
Me: "So...what happens, exactly, when he tries to get online?"
T2: "I don't know."
Me: "You didn't check?"
T2: "I guess not!"

And now you're rude?! Strike three! On top of this, the diagnostics finally came back...ALL ERRORS. This is a busted modem. Now, theoretically, I could take this call and relay that the customer will have to go to one of our lobbies and pick up a new modem. But you know what? Screw it...let the agent handle it and transfer back to customer service at midnight! HA!

Me: "Yeah, so I'm getting all errors here."
T2: "Uh huh...let me check MY diagnostics."
Me: "You do that, but he's going to need a new modem."
T2: "..."
Me: "Get him on back to customer service. Have a good night."

CLICK. I'm a simple person. I have three rules if you're going to be on my line...

1. Be polite. I deal with crap alllllllllllll day. Sometimes more, sometimes less than you.
2. Don't lie. If you do ANYTHING on my line, DON'T. LIE.
3. Be patient. Sometimes I'm asking questions to figure out what's going on because one or more of my tools is acting funky and this will better validify what exactly is going on.

That's about it. Well, break time!