Know your Home Keys.

[repsac]

This one may run long, the punchline is at the end though. True story. (gods, how often do we hear that?)

We're in an introduction to computing class. Stupid thing that, here you have some guys who've been coding for years having to take that due to a tech school requirement. What's worse, they wouldn't let anyone just get credit for it. So, one day, the instructor stands up and asks the following question: "What are the home keys for?" To which I, and a few other students reply "Well, they're fdsajkl;" She looks at us and says quickly. "no. You're wrong." Of course this prompts some stares and Wes turns to me saying "What has she got? A polish keyboard?" The instructor seems to hear him say that, turning to him and asking. "What are the home keys for?" He repeats the usual fdsa... To which she again replies "No. you're wrong." Meh? After a few seconds, she turns to the huge screen and with her neat little remote like mousey thing says "The home keys are found at the top of your browser. They're usually shaped like a little house. See?"

Recognition dawns on many of us in the class. Not home keys. Home button. She must have been lumping back, Forward, and stop in with that. Ah....so she's not an idiot.

Turning back to the class, she says to Wes. "You're supposedly a programmer. What does this button do?" Wes smiles. "Sends you to your homepage." Again, she shakes her head, this time saying smugly. "No. you're wrong." WTF?

Looking back to the screen, she begins this lecture about how that button will send you to the first place you visit. So, if you ever get lost you can go there. It can't be changed either, so you never have to worry about getting lost. Just click that little house and you'll go right back to where you started.

uh....no.

Wes looks up at her and then me and he starts to giggle. That laugh spreads, starting on one side of our table and working its way around as it dawns on each of us what she just said. Correction. Instructor IS an idiot.

Turning to look at us, she gets upset (understandably so) "What's so funny? Come on, tell me. If it's enough to make you laugh, maybe it will make the rest of us laugh." Wes takes a second to compose himself, and says with tears in his eyes. "No. You're wrong."

Planting her hands on her hips, the Instructor rounds on him. "What do you mean I'm wrong? I'm the teacher here, you're the student!"

Wes shrugs. "You're still wrong." He then explains that the home button goes to the site you set as your homepage, but that it's not permanent, can change; and even some spywares will change it. The instructor says he's wrong, to which Wes has the balls to say "Prove it."

So, the challenge has been made.

She goes through the motions, starting on the college's website and then ends up at yahoo or something else. Clicks home and it goes back to the college website. Turning to Wes she smirks. "So, prove me wrong smarty pants."

Wes steps up, sets the homepage to google, then starts on the college website. he goes to the same pages she did and then looks at her. "If I click this, it's going to send me, you say back to the college site." he clicks and it goes to google. She gets flustered and tries several times, once even saying to the class "now this will send me back to the college's website." It never does. Google all the way.

After a minute or two of this, the instructor bursts into tears and leaves the room. Wes is triumphant, and the whole story is recorded in the annals of history.

But, what of the punchline you ask? Ah grasshopper. It's a double one for you.

1.) The instructor supposedly held a masters degree in website design and computer science.

2.) Wes was the night time instructor for the course. HE had turned down her day time job to get the night one; but due to some wonkiness with the college (as stated earlier) he still had to take the course.

[Soulstealer]

"What are the home keys for?" To which I, and a few other students reply "Well, they're fdsajkl;" She looks at us and says quickly. "no. You're wrong." Of course this prompts some stares and Wes turns to me saying "What has she got? A polish keyboard?"

At first I thought the reason you were 'wrong' was because you were answering a 'where' question instead of a 'what' question. Then I read the rest.

Funny, I don't have a degree in anything remotly computer related and yet I knew what the home key did. Kudos on her invesment in that Masters degree.

[repsac]

Knowing the history of that place, her degrees weren't worth the paper they were printed on. I won't get into that though, just suffice it to say when you find out that NO college in the united states will accept credits from the one you're attending, you get an idea what the place is like.

[earl colby pottinger]

The kicker

The kicker to me is not what she did not know, but rather her reaction.

A good computer person no matter what their knowledge loves learning new stuff. Over all the years I worked with computers I don't remember one computer tech getting very upset if proven wrong, they just file the info as additional data and move on.

[Bagga]

While I was working an a Youth Training Scheme in computing, we were invited by British Telecom to take the trainees to a demonstration of their new scheme - an early precursor of the Internet.

Most of the trainees were very impressed with the rather attractive presenter, who seemed really well-informed about her subject area, until she took a 3 and a 1/2 inch floppy disk out of the computer, held it up in the air, and said "And this is a hard-disk".

The trainees were all computer geeks, so one of them immediately asked, incredulously, "Is that a hard disk?" Her reply was "Yes, because unlike the 5 1/4 inch floppy disks, which are bendy, these are protected in a hard plastic cover." At this point they all grinned at each other, stopped listening to her, and just concentrated on enjoying themselves looking at her...

[Flood]

: "What are the home keys for?"

I was really hoping that this was just some lead in joke about how home keys are for making it so other people can't just walk into your house.

[HawaiianShirts]

Wow. And here I thought it was bad when I had to prove to my English teacher that she was teaching us incorrect spelling rules. I was dumb enough to speak up during class, and so I was actually reprimanded after class for being disruptive, disrespectful, and "ignernt." I couldn't stop myself and pointed out that I was not being ignorant if I knew something the teacher did not. I was reprimanded again and corrected. Apparently not only could this woman not spell or teach properly, she thought "ignernt" (which is "ignorant" poorly enunciated) meant "rude."

A good computer person no matter what their knowledge loves learning new stuff. Over all the years I worked with computers I don't remember one computer tech getting very upset if proven wrong, they just file the info as additional data and move on.

True! Just the other day we had a customer point out something we didn't know.

Customer: Do you have any Toshibas?
Me: Yes, I do. Over here.
Customer: What about the one with a subwoofer in it?
Me: ... No. I've never seen a laptop with a sub in it. I don't know how that could be done.
Customer: Well, Competitor had one. It was a Quosmio.
Me: I do have a Toshiba Quosmio model. This one. But I'm pretty sure it doesn't have a subwoofer.
Customer: (tilts laptop back so we can see the underside) Sure it does. Right there.
Me: (takes a closer look, runs some music on the laptop, looks again) Hey, it IS a subwoofer! How do you like that? I thought it was ventilation! (turning) Hey, Co-Worker, come check this out. This Toshiba's got a subwoofer!

No back-pedaling. No excuses (other than something like "Don't ever feel bad about not knowing something technological. As you can see, it's hard enough for us who work in the industry to keep up with it."). No trying to make obviously incorrect statements magically appear correct. No crying. We're usually pretty excited about it. Just means now we know more.

[Gurndigarn]

I was reprimanded again and corrected. Apparently not only could this woman not spell or teach properly, she thought "ignernt" (which is "ignorant" poorly enunciated) meant "rude."

In at least one US dialect, it does. Usually people who use it that way also know the standard usage, as well, though.

[earl colby pottinger]

Yep

Me: (takes a closer look, runs some music on the laptop, looks again) Hey, it IS a subwoofer! How do you like that? I thought it was ventilation! (turning) Hey, Co-Worker, come check this out. This Toshiba's got a subwoofer!

No back-pedaling. No excuses (other than something like "Don't ever feel bad about not knowing something technological. As you can see, it's hard enough for us who work in the industry to keep up with it."). No trying to make obviously incorrect statements magically appear correct. No crying. We're usually pretty excited about it. Just means now we know more.

Yep, that is what I am use to. And it did not matter if it was a dozen techs coming over and seeing something they did not know before (ps. I never of a sub-woofer *INSIDE* a laptop before your message), it was fun to all to learn something new like that.

And we usually thanked the customer too, so s/he goes away felling good too.

[PaRaGaS]

Of course this prompts some stares and Wes turns to me saying "What has she got? A polish keyboard?"

Would you mind explaining this remark to me, as I'm pretty sure that in Poland virtually all computers are setup with standard US QWERTY layout keyboards with Polish letters accessible via an Alt+letter combo. In France, on the other hand...

[Soulstealer]

Would you mind explaining this remark to me, as I'm pretty sure that in Poland virtually all computers are setup with standard US QWERTY layout keyboards with Polish letters accessible via an Alt+letter combo. In France, on the other hand...

Maybe he's never been to Poland, sounds like a joke on how her keyboard is set up.

[PaRaGaS]

Maybe he's never been to Poland, sounds like a joke on how her keyboard is set up.

Yeah, but a rather misinformed one

[Banrion]

Now to me "home keys" has different connotations in different settings. If you are talking about typing/keyboarding, I will agree on the asdfjkl; definition, but in a computing class, I would assume reference to the actual HOME key and would have said that it takes you to the top of the page. However, the house icon on the toolbar is NEVER a key in my world, calling it a button is acceptable, but not a key.

[Broomjockey]

I would assume reference to the actual HOME key and would have said that it takes you to the top of the page. However, the house icon on the toolbar is NEVER a key in my world, calling it a button is acceptable, but not a key.

Heh, never thought of the home key specifically. But then I also didn't think of the button in the broswer (don't have one in my browser). I was thinking of the button on my spiffy keyboard that actually has a picture of a house and opens up my web browser.

[Tigress]

Most of the trainees were very impressed with the rather attractive presenter, who seemed really well-informed about her subject area, until she took a 3 and a 1/2 inch floppy disk out of the computer, held it up in the air, and said "And this is a hard-disk".

The trainees were all computer geeks, so one of them immediately asked, incredulously, "Is that a hard disk?" Her reply was "Yes, because unlike the 5 1/4 inch floppy disks, which are bendy, these are protected in a hard plastic cover." At this point they all grinned at each other, stopped listening to her, and just concentrated on enjoying themselves looking at her...

I can forgive her that. When the 3 1/2 diskettes first came out, a lot of people called them "hard disks" because they were, well, hard. Eventually, I taught myself to call 5 1/4 "floppies" and 3 1/2 "diskettes".

It still amazes me how incompetent some computer teachers are.