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I just got off the phone with a caller for my three-letter-acronym government agency (no, not that one...or THAT one either) who requested a conference bridge set up for 8:00 PM EDT. At 7:55 PM, she called me and started freaking out because the bridge wasn't up yet. For security reasons, I have to verify all contact information before I proceed, but she keeps interrupting me telling me she doesn't have time.
Finally, I find the previous ticket. Everything looks to be fine, but I can't tell for sure since I'm just technical support and not the operator. I ask the customer to hold on for a moment while I get the operator on the line. The operator starts setting up a new bridge for her active immediately. After a few moments, I say "I'm going to switch over to the caller and let her know what's going on because she was freaking out."
So I switch back with her SCREAMING at me. Here's a paraphrasing of what happened:
Me: Tech support, NOT operator with no access to the internal phone network.
Caller: Doesn't understand compartmentalized support.
Me: Hello, ma'am? I'm on the other line with the operator now and--
Caller: What happened to the conference?
M: I'm not sure ma'am. (Personal note about me: When I get very upset and my temper is close to snapping, I get VERY polite and cheerful. First I go monotone (only warning you get), then my voice turns sing-songy (which means my temper has already snapped) and I start getting very formal in my speech.)
C: Why not? I called in half an hour ago (it was ten minutes) and asked that this be set up! Why isn't it working?
M: (monotone) I have no idea, ma'am. I've got the line operator working on setting up a new bridge for you instead of finding out why the other one failed since time is so important.
C: What's taking so long!? I called in an hour ago and this still isn't working? How long is this going to take?
M: Well, ma'am, it will only take a few moments. If you can hold on for--
C: DO NOT PUT ME ON HOLD!!
M: I'm sorry?
C: I called in an hour ago and this bridge still isn't working and I've got people calling ME asking why it's not up and--
M: Ma'am. (Here's the last warning you get from me -- I almost NEVER interrupt customers unless they're rambling over a simple issue or they're reading out every line of the error message when I figured out what error it was after the first three words) I do not have access to the phone system. If you--
C: I can't believe this! I've got all these people calling in saying they can't get in and they're calling ME and you just want me to wait on hold and--
M: Excuse me, ma'am (sing-songy), but like I said I don't have any access to the phone system at all. If you want to know why the other bridge didn't work (caller tried to say something but I kept talking so I have no idea what it was), then I can have him stop setting up the new bridge for you and look into it, ma'am. Or I can go back to him and verify when the bridge is set up and give you the dial-in number and PIN, ma'am. However, since I don't have access to that system, ma'am, there's nothing I can do other than speak with the operator and make sure the bridge is working. Now, would you mind holding for just another moment, ma'am, while I check on the status of the bridge?
C: (Trying to pretend she has some authority left over this matter) I guess I don't have a choice.
M: Thank you.
I then jab the "Switch Lines" button on my phone hard enough to send it across my desk and knock over half my Pez Dispenser collection. Long story short, I made no effort whatsoever to speed up the operator and was sorely tempted to "accidentally" lose the call and delay her bridge that much further. What I did was sit there, get the bridge information, relay that to her, and dump the ticket to the operator's queue.
Moral of the story: You can either waste time and yell at me about everything that's going wrong, or you can shut up for fifteen seconds and listen to me when I try to get it fixed for you.
Finally, I find the previous ticket. Everything looks to be fine, but I can't tell for sure since I'm just technical support and not the operator. I ask the customer to hold on for a moment while I get the operator on the line. The operator starts setting up a new bridge for her active immediately. After a few moments, I say "I'm going to switch over to the caller and let her know what's going on because she was freaking out."
So I switch back with her SCREAMING at me. Here's a paraphrasing of what happened:
Me: Tech support, NOT operator with no access to the internal phone network.
Caller: Doesn't understand compartmentalized support.
Me: Hello, ma'am? I'm on the other line with the operator now and--
Caller: What happened to the conference?
M: I'm not sure ma'am. (Personal note about me: When I get very upset and my temper is close to snapping, I get VERY polite and cheerful. First I go monotone (only warning you get), then my voice turns sing-songy (which means my temper has already snapped) and I start getting very formal in my speech.)
C: Why not? I called in half an hour ago (it was ten minutes) and asked that this be set up! Why isn't it working?
M: (monotone) I have no idea, ma'am. I've got the line operator working on setting up a new bridge for you instead of finding out why the other one failed since time is so important.
C: What's taking so long!? I called in an hour ago and this still isn't working? How long is this going to take?
M: Well, ma'am, it will only take a few moments. If you can hold on for--
C: DO NOT PUT ME ON HOLD!!
M: I'm sorry?
C: I called in an hour ago and this bridge still isn't working and I've got people calling ME asking why it's not up and--
M: Ma'am. (Here's the last warning you get from me -- I almost NEVER interrupt customers unless they're rambling over a simple issue or they're reading out every line of the error message when I figured out what error it was after the first three words) I do not have access to the phone system. If you--
C: I can't believe this! I've got all these people calling in saying they can't get in and they're calling ME and you just want me to wait on hold and--
M: Excuse me, ma'am (sing-songy), but like I said I don't have any access to the phone system at all. If you want to know why the other bridge didn't work (caller tried to say something but I kept talking so I have no idea what it was), then I can have him stop setting up the new bridge for you and look into it, ma'am. Or I can go back to him and verify when the bridge is set up and give you the dial-in number and PIN, ma'am. However, since I don't have access to that system, ma'am, there's nothing I can do other than speak with the operator and make sure the bridge is working. Now, would you mind holding for just another moment, ma'am, while I check on the status of the bridge?
C: (Trying to pretend she has some authority left over this matter) I guess I don't have a choice.
M: Thank you.
I then jab the "Switch Lines" button on my phone hard enough to send it across my desk and knock over half my Pez Dispenser collection. Long story short, I made no effort whatsoever to speed up the operator and was sorely tempted to "accidentally" lose the call and delay her bridge that much further. What I did was sit there, get the bridge information, relay that to her, and dump the ticket to the operator's queue.
Moral of the story: You can either waste time and yell at me about everything that's going wrong, or you can shut up for fifteen seconds and listen to me when I try to get it fixed for you.
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