Silky Smooth

[clowninasack]

The other day I was in the back, working on computers when I overheard bits and pieces of this, and I just knew there would be no good coming from this customer:

SC: You know who it is.
D: My boss.
J: The front-end guy. He deals with the customers so I don't have to ... Most of the time.
Italics = My thoughts.

SC: Yeah this system is state-of-the-art, it's got 256 Megawhutzitz (not the actual word, but it was made up) and top of the line graphics! (Yes he actually said that)
D: I think somebody took you for a ride, because that's an onboard graphics card, and they generally aren't very good.
SC: Well...

Lo and behold a little bit later D tells me to get that system out in a hurry, so I take a look at the work order. D wrote down that someone had formatted the computer and reinstalled windows, but didn't install the drivers. As a result it wasn't working too well. I boot her up and find that, indeed, none of the drivers had been installed. I crack open the case to find what kind of motherboard it is: ASRock. Top of the line, you say? So I download the drivers, install them, and remove some of the junk that had been installed. (Yahoo toolbar, how I loathe thee!) The download taking the better part of a few hours since ASRock's server is extremely slow. I was just about to take her of the bench when I notice Flight Simulator X is installed. Oh my. Flight Sim X + Onboard graphics = NO GOOD. I fire the game up and of course it's a slideshow, and looks like Flight Simulator 0.0000001. I note on the work order that FSX probably won't work very well due to the onboard graphics (VIA Unichrome), and then "Bilbo Douchebaggins" arrives.

When I bring the computer out I have this conversation since J is busy:

SC: So it's all fixed up?
Me: Yep, just needed to install the drivers.
SC: Graphics are good, huh?
Me: Well it's not going to work very well even with the drivers installed since it's onboard video. I tried running it, and it was just a slideshow. Even on my computer at home with a quad-core processor, 4GB of RAM, and dual video cards sometimes has trouble if I turn up the settings too high. (I love to brag)
(At this point he FREAKS out)
SC: Well it was SILKY SMOOTH before! Are you telling me that it's not going to work anymore?!
Me: ...

At this point J notices that SC is becoming an.. SC and steps in.

J: If it's onboard graphics I really doubt it was running "silky smooth".
SC: Well it was SILKY SMOOTH before. Are you telling me it's going to be worse when I get it back?!
J (to me): Did you test FSX with it?
Me: Yeah, it was a slideshow.
J: Well, this isn't our fault, SC. We just installed the drivers.
SC: Well what are you going to do about it?
J: Would you like us to work on it a little bit more and see what we can do, or would you like to take it now?
SC: Well I guess you can work on it a little bit more. Geez!
Me: I guess I can try to turn the settings down.

As he walked out I heard him say, "it better work!"

So it gets put back on the bench and I try to turn down the settings. It was already on the minimum, so there is nothing I can do. We wait for SC to come back in.

So later that day the whole story comes out. Apparently his old motherboard had died, and this was a replacement board that some idjit had put in and then reinstalled windows. The new board was PCI-E and I would assume the old board was AGP, so the graphics card got junked. Since the drivers were never installed after the new motherboard was installed he never played FSX on it until we fixed it. So basically he was being a huge jerk to us because of somebody else's mistake. Fucking asshole. Since my job was pretty much done I never really had much contact with him, but I did talk to him on the phone a few times after this and he was all peachy keen and unicorns.

BONUS STORY!!!

I overheard a conversation between another SC and J a while ago. Basically someone came in off the street and said they were having problems with the wireless internet connection at the hotel he was staying at and wanted help.

SC: Hey, I'm at the *hotel* down by the *place*, and I can't get on their wireless.
J: Okay, does it give you an error?
SC: Yeah it tries to "verify" the connection, but it always fails.
J: Have you made sure you typed in the password correctly?
SC: There is no password.
J: I know for a fact that they use a password for their wireless at that hotel.
SC: No, I just need to get it verified on their wireless!
J: Well, you need to get the password and I don't remember what it is.
SC: You don't know anything about computers! I just need to get it verified!
J: I can't help you. *walks away*
Me: *Snickering in the back*
SC: *Rants about how J doesn't know anything about computers on his way out*

[DataJager]

Ah, consumers. A "top of the line system" with on-board graphics is like a Lexus that you have to pedal. That was funny.

Though I've had good luck playing Flight Sim X with my ECS motherboard and its on-board GeForce 7100, it usually sucks. That and I wish people would be a bit more understanding about hardware. I mean, if I take a bunch of the insides of a car out and replace them with knock-off parts, it's obviously going to be worse. Though at least with drivers it might be reasonable. Though with Vista, drivers/DirectX10 can actually make things far worse.

Some days I think we need to give certain people plushy computers instead of real ones. It would save us a lot of headaches.

[mharbourgirl]

If you hear the phrase 'top-of-the-line' coming out of a customer's mouth, that's a clear indicator that his technology, well, it isn't.

On-board video .. unless it's your work computer that is only running outlook and Word, it sucks the galactic muffin. If you play games (and I don't mean solitaire and crap like that), you do NOT want onboard video.

On a related tangent, I HAVE two video cards in my personal system, and FSX still runs like crap, because they built it for a technology path that was never actually followed. That's the Hubster's problem, though. He's the flight-sim junkie. I prefer games that let me blow things up.

[Dips]

BONUS STORY!!!

I overheard a conversation between another SC and J a while ago. Basically someone came in off the street and said they were having problems with the wireless internet connection at the hotel he was staying at and wanted help.

Suuuuure he was at guest at that hotel.

[wraiths_crono]

semi-on topic.
1. had someone try that before "windows 98 is still NEW, they said it would work JUST FINE for high speed internet!!!!!" (cu speed test showed 110 KBPS, where connection was showing fine) got cu to tell me the system info P1 @ 256MHZ, with a whoping 64meg o ram
2. Got yelled at at the computer store for the sales agent creating a stupid cu. He was trying to sell a Modem, and router to a customer where their internet provider GIVES you a modem with router built in!!! gah!

[otakuneko]

Win98 and a 266MHz CPU were not the cause of the slowness.

[lordlundar]

2. Got yelled at at the computer store for the sales agent creating a stupid cu. He was trying to sell a Modem, and router to a customer where their internet provider GIVES you a modem with router built in!!! gah!

A good idea for two reasons:

1. If one part of the combo fails, you have to repair or replace the entire thing, Which is a bigger limitation than keeping them separate.

2.The combo units are notorious for working poorly. Odds are the ISP is pushing them to get rid of them.

[been_there]

Just want to say that "Bilbo Douchebaggins" is 24k gold.

And "silky smooth"...is he trying to sell you a ladies' shaver or something?

[PepperElf]

where their internet provider GIVES you a modem with router built in!!!

Must be a nice ISP then. when i was in virginia and on cable they only rented the modems out and didn't have routers. ended up buying my own.

heh. silky smooth eh? back when i was gaming, a lot of people claimed that they bought "top of the line" bla bla bla... but spending more money doesn't mean you actually know HOW to use your equipment.

[MadMike]

Why do I keep thinking of "You Don't Mess With the Zohan?"

"I make your hair silky smooth!"

[tendomentis]

Maybe a little off topic, but I just don't get the ASROCK hate...yeah they've had some real lemons, but the ASROCK in my machine now has had zero problems compared to the Gigabyte board in my mate's machine. Yes, I can't OC my e6750 as high as I'd like with an ASROCK mobo, but so far that is the one and only downside I've had with this board.

Now ECS and Foxconn....when I see that in a machine I know I'm going to have about as much overclocking ability with it as I do with a freshly baked loaf of bread

[otakuneko]

ECS may have a bad rep, but I've had zero problems. Even with my phenom-based system, which the mobo manual explicitly says "Processors over 95 TDP are NOT SUPPORTED!" ... I just put a nice zalman cooler on it.