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So this week Eugene is on vacation. Yesterday Mark was working from home, which left me alone on phones with backup from Darlene, one of our programmers who is unlucky enough to have good people skills.
And it was busy. Three lines ringing off the hook all day. People rolling in voice mail and refusing to leave message, just hitting that redial button repeatedly expecting that a new employee would materialize to pick up the phone.
Even so, we only had one mild SC yesterday. Some lady who needed a link emailed and claimed we didn't send it (because our not sending it is the ONLY POSSIBLE REASON she wouldn't get an email). I sent it three times after verifying the address, having her email me so I could reply, etc. No dice. Refuses to check her spam box or disconnect the call and call us back in 15 minutes if she still doesn't get it, because she thinks I don't have any other customers who might need help. I finally got rid of her by dictating the LOOOONG link over the phone and wouldn't you know? I got a read receipt from her moments after she hung up with the parting shot that "people are going to think [we] don't have a good reputation."
But anyway, today Mark was working in the office. So naturally our call volume was much lower.
But I did get an unsupportable SC. She was trying to install a copy of our software and was getting an error message that told me that she was trying to install it from a limited account on Windows. That won't work; you have to be logged in as an administrator. Cue the conversation:
Me: To install [software] you need to be logged in as an adminstrator. Just log into an adminstrative account and install [software] for all users on the computer.
SC: I don't have an administrative account.
Me: OK. Then you will need to contact the person who does and have them install [software] for you.
SC: I could install it on [other machine]. How come I could do that?
Me: Probably because you had administrative privileges on [other machine]?
SC: I don't think that's the problem I'm having because it worked on one computer and not on the other. That doesn't make any sense.
Me: Can you tell me for certain that you have administrative privileges on [new machine]?
SC: That's not the problem. I could install on [other machine] and they are both on the same network.
Me: [which is completely irrelevant and not answering my Godblessed question] Do you know for a fact that you have administrative privileges on [new computer]?
SC: I'm not sure.
Me: Then find out for certain and call us back when you are logged in as an administrator. We'll be able to help you install once you are logged in as an administrator.
SC: How do I do that?
Me: I can't say because I did not set up your computer. You can find out by asking the person who set up your computer. You can also look in the Windows Help system for information about it or call Microsoft for support using their operating system.
SC: I don't think it's that.
Me: Don't think it's what?
SC: I don't think the problem is what you're telling me it is. If it is, then you could tell me why I could install on [other computer]. Can you tell me why it worked back then and doesn't work now?
Me: [Sure. Because your network admin didn't know you were such a ninny back then and let you have administrative privileges when you installed that machine, that's why. He's smarter than that now.] Obviously you had administrative priviliges on that computer when you installed [software].
SC: Then I should be able to install on this computer. They are on the same network!
Me: [Which AGAIN doesn't mean squat. You have to know what you are talking about to score any points here, lady.] Log in as an administrator and try the install again. If it still doesn't work, call us back.
SC: So you can't fix it now?
Me: No.
SC: But I still don't understand how come this worked on [other computer] and not this one.
Me: [Sorry. I'm not falling for that one.] Just make certain you are logged in as an administrator and call us back if it still doesn't work.
SC: I guess I'll have to.
Me: [Guess you have to? GUESS? No. You DO have to.] Unfortunately, it's the only way the installer will work.
SC: I still don't think that's it.
Me: [Then by all means be my guest and fix it yourself without involving me. You obviously know so much more about the product we make than we do. Pardon me for thinking you called for tech support and not affirmation of your delusions of adequacy (TM Raps
).] I'm afraid I don't have any reason to believe that isn't it. Call us back when you're sure that you are logged in as an administrator. We'll be here until 5:00.
SC: Thanks.
Me: You're welcome and thanks for calling. Have a good afternoon. <click>
I saw that Mark had started a note in the license comments earlier that day but hadn't finished, so I asked him if he had talked to her earlier that day.
Mark: [groan] Yeah. Many times.
Me: Was she getting an error on installation?
Mark: Yeah, but she kept insisting that it was due to the update and going back to [older version] would fix her problem.
Me: Did you ask her if she was logged in as an adminstrator?
Mark: She never answered that question. Just kept spewing irrelevant nonsense and telling me to email the link to [older version] because she KNEW it would fix everything. I ended up sending because it couldn't hurt and maybe she'd listen better when she realizes she was wrong.
Me: Oh, Mark. That's a good one.
[and I filled him in]
We both expect to hear from her tomorrow.
And it was busy. Three lines ringing off the hook all day. People rolling in voice mail and refusing to leave message, just hitting that redial button repeatedly expecting that a new employee would materialize to pick up the phone.
Even so, we only had one mild SC yesterday. Some lady who needed a link emailed and claimed we didn't send it (because our not sending it is the ONLY POSSIBLE REASON she wouldn't get an email). I sent it three times after verifying the address, having her email me so I could reply, etc. No dice. Refuses to check her spam box or disconnect the call and call us back in 15 minutes if she still doesn't get it, because she thinks I don't have any other customers who might need help. I finally got rid of her by dictating the LOOOONG link over the phone and wouldn't you know? I got a read receipt from her moments after she hung up with the parting shot that "people are going to think [we] don't have a good reputation."
But anyway, today Mark was working in the office. So naturally our call volume was much lower.
But I did get an unsupportable SC. She was trying to install a copy of our software and was getting an error message that told me that she was trying to install it from a limited account on Windows. That won't work; you have to be logged in as an administrator. Cue the conversation:
Me: To install [software] you need to be logged in as an adminstrator. Just log into an adminstrative account and install [software] for all users on the computer.
SC: I don't have an administrative account.
Me: OK. Then you will need to contact the person who does and have them install [software] for you.
SC: I could install it on [other machine]. How come I could do that?
Me: Probably because you had administrative privileges on [other machine]?
SC: I don't think that's the problem I'm having because it worked on one computer and not on the other. That doesn't make any sense.
Me: Can you tell me for certain that you have administrative privileges on [new machine]?
SC: That's not the problem. I could install on [other machine] and they are both on the same network.
Me: [which is completely irrelevant and not answering my Godblessed question] Do you know for a fact that you have administrative privileges on [new computer]?
SC: I'm not sure.
Me: Then find out for certain and call us back when you are logged in as an administrator. We'll be able to help you install once you are logged in as an administrator.
SC: How do I do that?
Me: I can't say because I did not set up your computer. You can find out by asking the person who set up your computer. You can also look in the Windows Help system for information about it or call Microsoft for support using their operating system.
SC: I don't think it's that.
Me: Don't think it's what?
SC: I don't think the problem is what you're telling me it is. If it is, then you could tell me why I could install on [other computer]. Can you tell me why it worked back then and doesn't work now?
Me: [Sure. Because your network admin didn't know you were such a ninny back then and let you have administrative privileges when you installed that machine, that's why. He's smarter than that now.] Obviously you had administrative priviliges on that computer when you installed [software].
SC: Then I should be able to install on this computer. They are on the same network!
Me: [Which AGAIN doesn't mean squat. You have to know what you are talking about to score any points here, lady.] Log in as an administrator and try the install again. If it still doesn't work, call us back.
SC: So you can't fix it now?
Me: No.
SC: But I still don't understand how come this worked on [other computer] and not this one.
Me: [Sorry. I'm not falling for that one.] Just make certain you are logged in as an administrator and call us back if it still doesn't work.
SC: I guess I'll have to.
Me: [Guess you have to? GUESS? No. You DO have to.] Unfortunately, it's the only way the installer will work.
SC: I still don't think that's it.
Me: [Then by all means be my guest and fix it yourself without involving me. You obviously know so much more about the product we make than we do. Pardon me for thinking you called for tech support and not affirmation of your delusions of adequacy (TM Raps
).] I'm afraid I don't have any reason to believe that isn't it. Call us back when you're sure that you are logged in as an administrator. We'll be here until 5:00.SC: Thanks.
Me: You're welcome and thanks for calling. Have a good afternoon. <click>
I saw that Mark had started a note in the license comments earlier that day but hadn't finished, so I asked him if he had talked to her earlier that day.
Mark: [groan] Yeah. Many times.
Me: Was she getting an error on installation?
Mark: Yeah, but she kept insisting that it was due to the update and going back to [older version] would fix her problem.
Me: Did you ask her if she was logged in as an adminstrator?
Mark: She never answered that question. Just kept spewing irrelevant nonsense and telling me to email the link to [older version] because she KNEW it would fix everything. I ended up sending because it couldn't hurt and maybe she'd listen better when she realizes she was wrong.
Me: Oh, Mark. That's a good one.
[and I filled him in]We both expect to hear from her tomorrow.
I AM the evil bastard!
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