I get this way too often...

[Wenchie]

Me: What browser are you using?
Caller: Internet Explorer.
Me: And do you know what version of Internet Explorer you're using?
Caller: I think it's XP.

Me:

[Hawaiian Eskimo]

Me: What operating system are your running?
Caller: Uhh... it's a Dell Inspiron 1545...

[Wenchie]

Me: What operating system are your running?
Caller: Uhh... it's a Dell Inspiron 1545...

I've gotten those too:

Me: What Operating System are you running?
Caller: It's a Gateway/HP/Dell/etc.
Me: ...
Me: Not the type of computer. The operating system you're running on it. You know, the thing it tells you when you first start the computer?
Caller: I don't know... I never turn it off.

OR

Me: What Operating System are you running?
Caller: It's a laptop.
Me: *headdesk*

[Evil Queen]

The blank stares. I really like the blank stares.

Unless you know what sort of OS you have, how can I tell you whether or not you'll have issues logging onto the internet?

[ohsobitter]

How about the ones that give you their monitor brand instead?

[lupo pazzesco]

You mean ViewSonic ISN'T helpful!?

Kidding!! Ok, I'm the first to admit that I'm relatively dumb when it comes to computers and how they're put together/fixed. Really! Hell, I don't know have the specs on my laptop, and when I did have a desktop and EQ asked me what kind of memory it had, I just sort of blinked and said "it's black"

But...I at least know what web browser and OS means, and the different between the two.

[draggar]

"Hey Draggar - I had Windows 2007 before - how can I get it back?"

(Mind you - Windows 7 is not approved for everyone yet, it is still in testing but we do use OFFICE 2007).

"Hey Draggar - can I get Windows 2008 on my computer?"

"Why do you want that?"

"Because it's the newest!"

"You know it's just for severs only, right?"

"So?"

[BeeMused]

Oh... install it as a core installation *mwaaahaaahaaaa* erm...

[tropicsgoddess]

I get quite a bit of these....

Me: Ok, sir/ma'am, please open up Internet Explorer?
SC: What's that? I don't use it
Me: It's the big "e" with the ring around it
SC: Oh...
Me: *facepalm*

[Elevator]

Me: I need you to open internet explorer
SC: Hmm...internet explorer....the "e" right?
Me: yes. That's the one.
SC: Ok....left click or right click?
Me: *sigh* left click.
SC: Ah....two left clicks?
Me: Yes. Yes, 2 left clicks.
SC: Ok, done....

60 seconds later

Me: Did the window open?
SC: Yes, it's not my homepage, but it does say to "End Now" or "Cancel"

thus begins the call

[ringo]

My desktop is Windows 5.1.2600 and my laptop is Windows 6.1.7600.

[Exaspera]

I was trying to upload a new map to my old Garmin, could not do it. They guy trying to explain it to me finally asked me if I would let him tale over. Told me to let go of my mouse. I just watched as he took it over and did everything! Amazing!

[Flying Grype]

I rarely bother asking 'what version do you have' anymore. I just walk them through the steps: click on Help -> About and read the number off.

[Shalom]

I was trying to upload a new map to my old Garmin, could not do it. They guy trying to explain it to me finally asked me if I would let him tale over. Told me to let go of my mouse. I just watched as he took it over and did everything! Amazing!

I was working one night with my robotic pharmacy tech when its cursor suddenly started wandering around and clicking on things, all by itself. I grabbed the mouse and dragged it back where it was supposed to be, and it wandered off again. I engaged in a tug of war with the cursor for a while, until finally the phone rang. I answered it, and someone at the other end said "Will you cut that out!!"

Turns out he'd logged in from the coroprate IT department to do a software update or something, and neglected to inform me of this in advance. (This was before Citrix; I think they were using Norton PCAnywhere, remember that one?)