I...but how can I..?

[Nurian]

I work for <redacted> doing phone tech support for <redacted>'s very specific style of computer. I enjoyed the training but was a little nervous doing the actual tech support as I know how to talk but am still learning the ins and outs of fixing computers. So my first call, I'm practically freaking out. Needless to say, by the end, I was trying very hard to contain my laughter:

Me: Okay, so you're having network issues? Can you go to any other sites?
Caller: Well, how do I find out?
Me: Open Internet Explorer and type in the address bar.
Caller: What address bar? I only see my cats.
Me: Cats?
Caller: Yeah. I have a photo of my cats on my computer.
Me: Oh, you're on your desktop looking at your background. Do you see the blue "e" with Internet Explorer below it?
Caller: Yeah!
Me: Okay! Go ahead and double-click on it to open Internet Explorer.
Caller: ...um.......how do I do that?
Me: ...

Oh great gurus of tech support, how can anyone live in this day and age that owns a computer, and has for over a year, NOT KNOW HOW TO DOUBLE-CLICK??
In the end, we find out she didn't accept Google's new terms and couldn't get to the page. She thought it was a virus. To be honest, I can see that but by this point it was taking a lot of self-restraint not to laugh. I did feel bad. She sounded like an older woman clearly out of her depth, but I thought she would have picked up some very basic skills.

[earl colby pottinger]

Welcome to

Welcome to the wonderful world of tech support. It will get worse, wait until you get the person who insists they know computers inside and out, shows as much real knowledge as the person you just wrote about and express doubts about your ability to find out what is wrong with their system.

[tropicsgoddess]

Ah, the joys of tech support! I've had calls where people don't even KNOW how to turn their computers on or off! No really...you can't make that shit up.

[Samardnaz]

What about the guy who calls in because his coffee cup holder is broken? Real Call from an Exec VP in Engineering for Major Rail Road. I so wanted to change out his desktop PC for a Cardboard Cutout from the furniture store...

Tech Support is wonderful! Just remember that one in 10,000 callers really IS an ex-IT guy who's already done all the basic stuff (and then some). Hopefully we'll not be SC's though...

[TheSHAD0W]

You can set Windows to launch applications on a single-click rather than a double-click, and quite a few people have used it in that mode for so long that they never learned what a double-click was.

[emax4]

At that point I would suggest that she read up on the computer owner's manual to learn basic computer skills, and state to her that "these skills are required for our businesses troubleshooting to the customer". If that doesn't work, ask for someone more qualified to follow the instructions.

[crashhelmet]

This seriously needs to be the staple of all Tech Support Training Sessions.

I truly believe it will assist you in this situation.

CH

[Andara Bledin]

I have yet to encounter anyone who didn't know what double-clicking was.

However, when I'm feeling a bit out of sorts and don't think I have the wherewithal to actually double-click things properly (read: really tired), I've been known to right-click and choose OPEN from the menu.

^-.-^

[Geek King]

I have yet to encounter anyone who didn't know what double-clicking was.

<raises hand> I have.

I also had, at my current workplace, a lady who has worked here longer than I have, ask me how to capitalize something when typing.

No joke.

[EricKei]

This seriously needs to be the staple of all Tech Support Training Sessions.

Plan B. I love it ^_^

<raises hand> I have.

No joke.

Same here. I don't even want to think about how many people are mystified when I use such arcane terms as "Desktop", "Start Menu", or "Browser"

[Lachrymose]

This seriously needs to be the staple of all Tech Support Training Sessions.

This too...

[DeltaSierra]

Welcome to the wonderful world of tech support. It will get worse, wait until you get the person who insists they know computers inside and out, shows as much real knowledge as the person you just wrote about and express doubts about your ability to find out what is wrong with their system.

Or the ones that insist "I work on / build/ service computers for a LIVING! I guarantee I know more than you do!!" - my friend who worked at a computer store heard this ALL the time - usually from morons who couldn't find the START button with a map....

[earl colby pottinger]

The worse

Or the ones that insist "I work on / build/ service computers for a LIVING! I guarantee I know more than you do!!" - my friend who worked at a computer store heard this ALL the time - usually from morons who couldn't find the START button with a map....

The worse of these are the ones telling the truth. They just left out a little detail.

They worked on Mainframes, Mini or special designs that had nothing to with microcomputers. The tech in these machines if often totally different from that in micros and what they know does not apply.

Imagine someone who has only worked on aircraft carriers trying to tell a sailor that he know how to handle ships.

[Samardnaz]

O.K., so how many of you have gone 'round to the user's cubicle and labled the "any key" for them. I have, three times!

I kid you not, these ladies (and they really were sweet kind ladies) were totally clueless about computers. They spent their entire careers using various typewriters, and got thrust into the grand world of Windows-based PCs at age 60-ish with no orientation training because their new boss couldn't believe that ANYONE was old enough to have not grown up with computers.

New Boss, BTW, was a 20-something hotshot with no real life experience. There's times I would like to take everyone under the age of 40 away from their tech toys and put them in a room with a box of pencils, pads of grid paper, and an abacus, and tell them to do their jobs without tech for a month. Most of them couldn't do it.

[crashhelmet]

O.K., so how many of you have gone 'round to the user's cubicle and labled the "any key" for them. I have, three times!

I kid you not, these ladies (and they really were sweet kind ladies) were totally clueless about computers. They spent their entire careers using various typewriters, and got thrust into the grand world of Windows-based PCs at age 60-ish with no orientation training because their new boss couldn't believe that ANYONE was old enough to have not grown up with computers.

New Boss, BTW, was a 20-something hotshot with no real life experience. There's times I would like to take everyone under the age of 40 away from their tech toys and put them in a room with a box of pencils, pads of grid paper, and an abacus, and tell them to do their jobs without tech for a month. Most of them couldn't do it.

At one of the companies I worked for way back in the days when you had a separate DOS and Windows install on your system, I was issued a laptop to use for storing a catalog of device drivers and testing printers, scanners, and other external devices. One day before going on vacation for a week, I decided to edit the autoexec.bat file on it.

I changed PROMPT $P$G to PROMPT Press Enter To Continue

So instead of seeing a standard C Prompt (C:\) when the laptop booted up, it would just say "Press Enter To Continue"

The day I got back, everyone was giving me the evil eye, cursing me, and telling me about the frustration they were experiencing before someone thought to try pressing anything but the Enter key. (If you pressed Enter, it would just move to a new line and say "Press Enter To Continue")

I'm just glad no one got too pissed and nuked the install. I didn't have a backup of the drivers.

CH