Not a blessed person is actually listening to me today. First 3 calls:
Situation: Machine is perfectly crapped out with an unfixable error code. Tech must be dispatched. Dispatching tech.
C1: This is in the Enlightenment Building.
Me: Yes, ma'am, I have it listed here.
C1: No, you don't.
Me: Oh? Let me verify the address with you. It's [blah]-
C1: No, you people never have the address, it's never right. Your tech is an idiot and he never knows where he is going.
Me: Is the address [blah]?
C1: Yes.
Me: All right, ma'am, I have the address on the ticket.
C1: *sarcastically* I bet you do. *click*
Situation: Client wishes for machine to duplex when printing to it from computer.
Me: Ok, to set the machine to duplex we'll need to set the printer properties on the compu-
C2: No we don't! This has to be set on the copier!
Me: Well, ma'am, if we set this on the copier, anything the printer driver sends will override it.
C2: No it won't!
Me: Ma'am, I can ass-
C2: Don't argue with me!
Me: All right, ma'am. *lead through client setting duplex permanently on copier; print test page from computer*
C2: *whining* It didn't duplex!
Me: Yes, ma'am, that is because we didn't set it in the printer driver.
C2: I told you, we don't need to set it there! *hang up*
Situation: Sales rep for our company is trying to sell a copier to a client. Called up asking for support.
C3: The client wants a button on the touchscreen that they can press to separate duplex to single-sided copies.
Me: Ok, that can be done under the Duplex&Stuff tab, but it's not a button that can be set on the machine.
C3: The client wants it, though! We can't make the sale without it. Help me make it happen.
Me: Ma'am, it's just simply not possible with the machine. There's no way to make a new button on the touchscreen. That would require rewriting the whole firmware for the machine.
C3: There must be a way!
Me: *spends 10 minutes showing where, in the internal documentation we both have access to, it says NO, NOT POSSIBLE*
C3: I don't care! Dispatch a REAL TECH to do a firmware upgrade! I'm sure that'll do it.
Me: Ok. Dispatching a tech. *sets it to bill the Sales rep for the call when there is nothing found to be done, watches with glee as sales commission disappears in fees*
-BIC-
Situation: Machine is perfectly crapped out with an unfixable error code. Tech must be dispatched. Dispatching tech.
C1: This is in the Enlightenment Building.
Me: Yes, ma'am, I have it listed here.
C1: No, you don't.
Me: Oh? Let me verify the address with you. It's [blah]-
C1: No, you people never have the address, it's never right. Your tech is an idiot and he never knows where he is going.
Me: Is the address [blah]?
C1: Yes.
Me: All right, ma'am, I have the address on the ticket.
C1: *sarcastically* I bet you do. *click*
Situation: Client wishes for machine to duplex when printing to it from computer.
Me: Ok, to set the machine to duplex we'll need to set the printer properties on the compu-
C2: No we don't! This has to be set on the copier!
Me: Well, ma'am, if we set this on the copier, anything the printer driver sends will override it.
C2: No it won't!
Me: Ma'am, I can ass-
C2: Don't argue with me!
Me: All right, ma'am. *lead through client setting duplex permanently on copier; print test page from computer*
C2: *whining* It didn't duplex!
Me: Yes, ma'am, that is because we didn't set it in the printer driver.
C2: I told you, we don't need to set it there! *hang up*
Situation: Sales rep for our company is trying to sell a copier to a client. Called up asking for support.
C3: The client wants a button on the touchscreen that they can press to separate duplex to single-sided copies.
Me: Ok, that can be done under the Duplex&Stuff tab, but it's not a button that can be set on the machine.
C3: The client wants it, though! We can't make the sale without it. Help me make it happen.
Me: Ma'am, it's just simply not possible with the machine. There's no way to make a new button on the touchscreen. That would require rewriting the whole firmware for the machine.
C3: There must be a way!
Me: *spends 10 minutes showing where, in the internal documentation we both have access to, it says NO, NOT POSSIBLE*
C3: I don't care! Dispatch a REAL TECH to do a firmware upgrade! I'm sure that'll do it.
Me: Ok. Dispatching a tech. *sets it to bill the Sales rep for the call when there is nothing found to be done, watches with glee as sales commission disappears in fees*
-BIC-
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