Dear....

[Imogene]

Dear Juwl,

Nobody does it like molton boron!

ArachnoSpores: The deadly spray with the funny name.

Dear Mika:
OMG, want. You're hawt, and your music makes me smile.

Dear Saturn (Los Bastardos player):
You and Halo are a damned cute couple. Proposing to her in the middle of 'Damnit Janet' was absolutely the best night LB has had since I started attending. Hope the two of you have a lasting marriage, and beautiful kids.

Dear Halo:
Showing up to the Video Game theme show as Princess Peach! Excuse me, I'm afraid I may have to hump you a bit. I guess I should be glad you were the one to show up as Seph as well, and fought Cody (as Cloud) during the pre show... and then, Chell and a companion cube! You picked an amazing trifecta of Hot!

Dear Cody:
Why the hell do I now see you as Cloud and no one else? I can't even see you as Eddie any longer, since Mary seems to have taken the role mostly.

Dear Wolf:
Not even blinking at my having a tampon in my bag that week... apparently, your GF doesn't know you very well. She thought my idea was twisted, and would elicit some response. But, nothing?

Dear Terry Pratchett:
Sorry if I unintentionally borrow plot devices from Disc World. I swear, I don't do it intentionally. My mind latches on to bizarre thoughts while I read your books, and I stop remembering whether they were actually part of the story or just my mind free-associating.

Dear myself:
You look better in the short skirt, not that frumpy ass black, floor length wrinkled-y one... Definitely need to start on those two major building projects in your head. Should look heavily into the Guildhall, see how much it would cost to at least get up toward a Bachelors, if not a Master's, in Game Design.

(Note: Just did those to offset my hugely anti-life post earlier)

[KiaKat]

Dear boss,

Congratulations, you've successfully driven away your GM and her AM, and now you're driving away your newest SM/AM (me) as well. With a little luck, you might even be able to drive away your business partner, and then you can have all the control in the world over your little empire. I hope you realize what damage you're doing to the store soon, because it's a great little place that has a lot of potential. But if you continue to piss off your managers, the place is going to collapse.

Sincerely,

Your Bitter Employee.

[Bella_Vixen]

Dear Becks--

Words canNOT describe how incredibly awesome you are!!!!!!



!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111!!!!!!!!! LMAO

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Dear paid-off WAC refs:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I saw you try to give the game to Fresno State but Wisconsin won anyway HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA



Irv

Shit, where has the time gone? I better get to bed already. I'm coming up on being awake for 22 hours straight.

[draftermatt]

Dear Ber,

I'm glad your BP went down and you're finally starting to feel better.

Dear Ber's Doctor,

This is the 3rd time she's been in for this since summer began. Obviously it's not the birth control anymore! Please find out what's wrong with her.

[draftermatt]

Dear Ber's New Doctor,

I hope you figure it out. Is the pneumonia the only issue?

Dear Cody,

I'm sorry to have to neuter you, but it's better for all of us. I'm praying you're doing well. You're a good boy.

[Daisy]

Dear Fidget's Teeth,

Come in already! You're making him a grumpy baby, and he's never a grumpy baby.

Thanks,
Fidget's Mommy


Dear Fisher Price,

Thank you for making the Galloping Fun Jumperoo. Really. Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU!

THANK YOU!!!
Daisy


Dear BF,

You suck. I love you, but you suck.

Love,
Me

[Becks]

Dear T-Mobile,

You suck long and hard. Why don't you provide service to Green Bay? I'm now on my third number (second in WI) and this one is for near Sheboygan...and it's the closest I'll get to having a local number.

If it wasn't for the fact that I got a new phone at the end of June (before I knew I was moving) and thus got sucked into another two years, I'd go to Verizon. Unfortunately, I can't afford the early termination fee.

It's a shame, too. Before this I had absolutely NO complaints.

Unhappy,

me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear V,

I love you, but holy biscuit. Unless you're going to buy me more minutes for my Tracfone so I can do the whole texting thing, lay off the texting all the time. It's not cheap, you know.

Love,

Becky

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear T.

Still miss you.

I might have to harass you and the rest of the meat room later.



--Me

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Body,

Stop falling apart!

That is all,
IDR

[draftermatt]

Dear SB,

I've worked for the guy for 7 years now. I could have told you that's what he's like.

Anyway, complaining to me does absolutely no good. It's about as good as complaining to the laborers in the plant.

I'm not sure what you expect me to do from this e-mail you sent me, however I would hope you don't expect me to persuade him.

Seriously stop all this going through me shit. I want nothing to do with this whole thing, I'm just doing my job I don't want the headache of what you keep pushing on me.

[KiaKat]

Dear Cardboard,

Please go away. I never want to look at you or slice my hands up on you again.

Thank you,

Your Nemesis.

[SengaKitty]

Dear Ex-Idiot,

You are an ass. I could say that I wish you'd die, but I don't. I still love you, and that's why all of this hurts so goddamn much. I don't like finding out the things I've found out about you in the past two weeks, and I'm so FARKING SICK of all your lies. I'm so glad I'm not fighting you for custody anymore. Now then, give me my farking divorce and the title of my car so I never, Ever, EVER have to deal with you again.... Oh yeah, tell your slut I said Hi.

Painfully yours
RHPG

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear MIL
How DARE you try to take my son away from me. Who the HELL do you think you are? You think that just because you're his grandmother you can have him? Try again. -I- am his mother, -I- carried him for 8 1/2 months, -I- nearly died to bring him into this world, NOT YOU. So kiss my ass and give me my baby.
I hate you.
RHPG.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Fiance
I love you so much. Thank you for sticking by me, even though I know I've been an uber bitch lately. Thank you for being understanding. Thank you for considering my son OUR son, even though he's not biologically yours and you've never met him. Thank you for saying we have a child, not that I have a child. You have been my rock, and are wonderful. Please stay that way, I couldn't bear to lose you too.

Love forever always and a day
RHPG

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Everyone on CS,
Thank you for being here and listening, and not flaming, even though I made some really big mistakes in all this. Thank you for bearing with my mental break downs and taking them in stride. And thank you thank you thank you for helping me through this! All the advice and positive thoughts mean more to me than any of you will ever know.
Gratefully Yours
RHPG

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jones Law Firm,
Thank you for taking on my case. I'm trusting you, so please don't screw me over. Help me get my baby back.
RHPG

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And finally
First Unitarian Universalist Church of Louisville
Thank you for everything you've done for me since the minute I stepped through your doors for the first time. You've become like a family to me, and are more supportive of me than most of my own family. Thank you for taking me, my SO, and our friends under your wings. Thank you Thank you Thank you.
RHPG

[Bella_Vixen]

Dear D-

Where are you?!?!

I don't think I can deal with much more of this.

[AdminAssistant]

Dear Other Drivers,

I know that I'm driving slow. I know that my car is verrrrry slow accelerating. And I know about its current tendency to stall out at stoplights. Trust me, I KNOW. And I am much more annoyed about it than you could ever be. However, at the current moment, all I can do about it is drive it. I have to get from place to place, and the car still goes. So, please please PLEASE be patient with me. I'm trying to run errands at night, but I will have to go to and from school during peak traffic hours. I am very sorry. Please don't yell at me.....

~ The annoyed driver of the Camry

Dear HS 'Sweetheart',

You friended me on Facebook. I debated and decided to friend you back, even though I have not seen or spoke to you in 7 years. There is a very good reason for that - I actively avoided you. And now, thanks to Facebook, I find out that you are divorced, have a very cute daughter, and are living in Kansas City. Which does freak me out just a bit. I'm just not sure that I ever really want to see you again. Partially because of all of the pain you caused me, and partially because I've packed on 60 lbs whereas you seem to have buffed up a bit in the past 7 years.

But, believe it or not, I am glad that you're doing well, and that you're going to dental school. You will always be a special person to me.

~ Me

Dear Me,

You can freaking do this!! Have a little confidence for a change! They wouldn't have accepted you if they didn't think you could do the work. You. Can. Do. It.

~ ME

[Crazeyal]

Dear so-called "BEST FRIEND"...

In all the years I've known you, you've been tough but fair. I got it. But when I want something you don't agree with, I get a pissy phonecall, an insult, and nothing for a week. Have a nice life.

Oh. and your children and wife all asked me for favors RIGHT after you got done brushing me off. Guess I'm not so evil to THEM, huh?