Dear....

[KiaKat]

Dear RW,

It's ok to let yourself grieve. Everyone has a different process, and no single person has the monopoly on 'proper' grieving. Cry if you need to. Scream if you want. Your littermate was YOURS, and no one has the right to tell you what you 'should' be doing.

*hugs*,

--someone who has spent most of her life grieving.

[Shangri-laschild]

Dear Dad,

You are an amazing dad. You always go above and beyond with the little things to help. You not only lent me your van to go down south, but let it stay filled till the next day when I forgot where I stuck my storage shed keys. Last night when I asked if I could use the van today to grab the entertainment center, you were cool with it which was awesome. I had meant after I got off work, but looking back, I guess I didn't say that, so please excuse my confusion this morning when I was trying to figure out why the van was blocking me in. Also please excuse my calling you asking you to come move the van, only to be reminded that I was borrowing it today and that you had moved it for me and left the keys downstairs. You rock.

[Becks]

Dear Milwaukee Brewers,

Thanks for living up to my expectations. I had hopes, you see, but I was also realisitic.

Even if this week is the end of the season, I thank you for it.

Searching out postseason gear,

me

[Misanthropical]

Dear idiot maintance,

I'm starting to not give a shit that my townhouse controls the water to the rest of the townhouses on this side. I'm about to turn it back on and not give a shit you will have a huge mess to deal with.

I was fine at 9 AM when you told me it wouldn't be off for more than 15 minutes, but it is now 2:30 PM and I haven't had water all fucking day. I can't use the bathroom or take a shower.

I go out to ask you how much longer and you tell me "It's going to take another couple of hours" and are shocked that I'm pissed when I tell you that I have to get ready for work and you tell me "too bad".

Yes, that is good way for me to come back in and turn the water back on. If you don't give a shit that I'm inconvenienced, why should I care if you?

I suggest getting your asses in gear and fixing things right the first time, instead of putting band aids on stuff that will get worse later and make it hard on those of us who had nothing to do with your shitty patch work.

Don't expect me to be happy to let you in next time.

[Bella_Vixen]

You know who you are--

Where in hell are you?? This has been dragged out long enough. By the time you finally get here, I'll have moved.

And don't say I didn't tell you. I did. 3 months ago.

[crazylegs]

Dear IB,

It would appear that I've royally pissed on your parade, and that you did only want to join so that you could saunter around and pose at work. It would appear that (through no fault of my own) I'll 'outrank' you from the word go and you don't want that so you'll be buggering off fairly shortly methinks.

Yours, laughingly

Crazylegs

[Lace Neil Singer]

Dear Bitch,

Fuck off and die. I mean it, seriously. Better yet, don't bother taking to the roads again til you've actually learnt to drive.

Yours, the girl on the motorbike.

[AdminAssistant]

Dear,

Karl Marx, Claude Levi-Strauss, Walter Benjamin, Louis Althusser, Michael Foucault, Lacan, Derrida and all of you other theoretical philosophical assholes. Who do you think you are? Why are your musings so freakin' important that I have to know the inner workings of all of them!!! GAAAAHHHH!

SCREW YOU!

Dear teachers,

This is theatre. Why is there so much theory in theatre? Can't we just do plays? Do we have to read all this stuff? Because, if I try to stuff one more theory in here now, my brain might explode. Oh, we're doing post-structuralism next week? bye-bye.

Dear students,

STOP WHINING. Yeah, you failed the test. Boo fucking hoo. If you would've come to class and actually paid attention, you would have done fine. It's not the questions. It's YOUR laziness. Yes, I know you're going to be a bunch of vindictive bitches when it comes time for teacher evals. Right now, I don't care. Half of you lazy-asses shouldn't even be in college.


Dear body,

You had the chance to sleep this morning. Why did you wake up at 8 am? Sleep in tomorrow. Please?

[1756GR2]

Dear fella on the goth dating site,

You met my daughter today, spent an hour over your lunch talking to her face to face. You sound like your profile, and I like your profile as much as she does. You both just suffered big relationship collapses, neither of you are looking for a romance, and that's cool. New friends are what she needs now, too.

You said you'd call her on Wednesday when you both have the day off. Please do. She's looking forward to it, and it took a lot for her to post on that site. And please, please, if you do see each other more, don't turn out to be a jerk. She deserves so much better than that.

Sincerely,
Her Mom, who'll stay respectfully in the background because her daughter's well over the age of consent

[draftermatt]

Dear Foot,

I have no reason to write to you, but for some reason I had the desire to write "dear foot"

Dear Nose,

Stop already. I feel 1000 times better than I did Friday, but why are you still running?

Dear Wifey,

I hope you feel better soon. I love you.

Dear Lunch,

I will be eating you in 3 minutes

[SorryIsGoodEnough]

Dear Directv,

Fuck you. Fuck your policy. I hope you all get cancer. I have cancer. Do you care? No. So maybe if you all fucking get fucking cancer, you'll start to care.



Dear Ryan,
Fuck you and your family and the Navajo Nation. I don't care. BRING.IT.ON. Custody battle of the century, buddy. I'll take on all theNATIVES! How DARE you let me sink after all I did for you? Man the fuck up.

By the way, dudes in Washington are way hotter than your hick ass.

With Love,
Me.

[Evil Queen]

Dear SorryisGoodEnough,

I hope you win.

Hugs and brownies (because I made brownies today),
EQ


My dearest <name>,

I love you, I love you, I love you! I miss you dearly and look forward to seeing you very very soon.
Sexual innuendos included.

Your bella,
-EQ

[lastofthesummerwine]

Sincerely,
Her Mom, who'll stay respectfully in the background because her daughter's well over the age of consent

Oh, I SO understand! Pardon me while I weep with relief!

If anyone out there is so misguided as to believe that birthday number eighteen signifies the end of parental worries-- Boy Howdy, your turnip truck awaits!

[SnarkyPie]

Dear Housemate/Dear Friend of Mine,

Let it never be doubted that I love you like a sister. You are part of my closest group of friends ever since coming to college. I was so happy to hear when you got engaged, and I wish you and The Boy total happiness.

That being said, can you please cool it with the PDAs in front of me? To put it bluntly, it hurts to watch. I see my boyfriend of >4 years maybe once a month, and trust me, it gets pretty crushingly lonely. It gets to the point that, when I see you hanging off him, I have to resist the urge to cry. I don't want to sound like a complete bitch, but here I am crying myself to sleep most nights and you mope whenever you don't see him for a few hours. Seeing you and all of the other couples we live with together constantly just twists the knife a little too much at times.

I know you enjoy being together, and I know that it sucks when he goes away for the day/weekend, because I know you two really do love each other. However, as the girl in a semi-long-distance relationship in a house full of happy couples, all I ask for is a little consideration.

Your depressed housemate,
Snarkypie

[ShinyGreenApple]

Dear Dad:

I am not a 'political' person. I've been telling you this since I was twelve. Please stop calling me to go on about issues and books you heard about from Limbaugh. ><;;