Dear Mrs. Smoker,
From now on I will no longer instruct my staff to prevent people from smoking in my store. Instead, i will equip them with cans of PAM so that, when they catch people smoking, they will spray them down with it. You can smoke to your heart's content, if you don't mind being a little . . . greasy.
Signed,
Mr. Paytha Price, owner of Justice Supermarkets.
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Dear Decade 25 False Estates,
I was going to buy one of your listed homes, and so I met with one of your agents, Mr. Bam Boozle. He told me how much money I'd need, and the things I'd need to do, in order to buy the house, and so I did everything Mr. Boozle told me to do. I didn't do any of the things he told me not to do, such as checking out the neighborhood to see if my wife and I liked the school nearby for our son or not, or looking up the crime statistics, or talking with the immediate neighbors of the home I intended to buy. I also obeyed his advice in never hiring outside inspectors or asking for any kind of research on the house. Mr. Boozle said he'd handle all of that for me, and he did, giving me reports so good that they literally glowed. I was pleased. My wife, Notah, however, was angry with me for not checking on my own and went to the house herself.
Well, while she was out, Mr. Boozle and I met and signed everything he told me to. After he left, my wife came home and told me that she spoke with the couple who owned that house and they told her that they never heard of Mr. Boozle and had no intention of selling their home to anybody.
I demand that you return all my money and that you fire Mr. Boozle! I also demand a million dollars, and that you make those people give me that house, for all the trouble I have been through.
If you don't, I just happen to know the third cousin of the secretary of the most powerful lawyers in town, Fraud & Shyster. I'll sue you and take ownership of every home you have to sell! And if that doesn't work, I'll burn that house to the ground! If I can't have it, nobody can!
Mr. Todd L. Flake.
From now on I will no longer instruct my staff to prevent people from smoking in my store. Instead, i will equip them with cans of PAM so that, when they catch people smoking, they will spray them down with it. You can smoke to your heart's content, if you don't mind being a little . . . greasy.
Signed,
Mr. Paytha Price, owner of Justice Supermarkets.
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Dear Decade 25 False Estates,
I was going to buy one of your listed homes, and so I met with one of your agents, Mr. Bam Boozle. He told me how much money I'd need, and the things I'd need to do, in order to buy the house, and so I did everything Mr. Boozle told me to do. I didn't do any of the things he told me not to do, such as checking out the neighborhood to see if my wife and I liked the school nearby for our son or not, or looking up the crime statistics, or talking with the immediate neighbors of the home I intended to buy. I also obeyed his advice in never hiring outside inspectors or asking for any kind of research on the house. Mr. Boozle said he'd handle all of that for me, and he did, giving me reports so good that they literally glowed. I was pleased. My wife, Notah, however, was angry with me for not checking on my own and went to the house herself.
Well, while she was out, Mr. Boozle and I met and signed everything he told me to. After he left, my wife came home and told me that she spoke with the couple who owned that house and they told her that they never heard of Mr. Boozle and had no intention of selling their home to anybody.
I demand that you return all my money and that you fire Mr. Boozle! I also demand a million dollars, and that you make those people give me that house, for all the trouble I have been through.
If you don't, I just happen to know the third cousin of the secretary of the most powerful lawyers in town, Fraud & Shyster. I'll sue you and take ownership of every home you have to sell! And if that doesn't work, I'll burn that house to the ground! If I can't have it, nobody can!
Mr. Todd L. Flake.
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