I Don't Want to Receive a Greeting Card like These

[catcul]

OS: Outside
IS: Inside

OS: Dear ex, when I look back at our relationship, I'm reminded of William Shakespeare's quote, "It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all."
IS: What a load of horse manure!
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OS: Thank you friend for helping me on my religious journey
IS: Every time you drive, I pray to God that we all don't die.
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OS: Dear coworker, we would like to wish you to get well soon.
IS: We'd like to, but we try not to lie whenever possible.
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OS: Uncle, you truly are a wonder of nature.
IS: Just like the cicada, I only see you once every 17 years.
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OS: Dear classmate, your face reminds me of the sun.
IS: It hurts my eyes every time I look at it.

[fireheart]

There was one that I made for my mum a few years ago through publisher.

Outside: dear mum, now that I've grown up...
Inside: I can see how short you are.

The kicker was that at the time, I really WAS taller than my mother!

[dalesys]

... I really WAS taller than my mother!

... but not since she took you off at the knees...

[Plague*Star]

Party Rat

BD card I saw back in the '90s. Had a nasty-looking rat wearing a party hat....

OS: Party Rat says, "The hands of Time move fast"
IS: and it looks like they've been slapping the sh*t outta you!

P*S

[cindybubbles]

OS: Dear husband, we've been married for 50 years...
IS: ... and not once did you compliment my home cooking!

OS: Dear son, we've had you in our lives for 40 wonderful years...
IS: ... Don't you think it's time for you to get your own place?

OS: Dear daughter, we've felt happy for you when you married your husband.
IS: We'd now feel even happier if you divorced that son of a b****!

[Ironclad Alibi]

OS: You are like the clouds in the sky.

IS: When you leave it is a beautiful day.

[catcul]

OS: Honey, you remind me of the moon.

IS: I don't want to see you a certain time of the month.