One that always makes me laugh!

[porkinator]

A man goes into a pub and asks the bartender if he can use the toilet.

Bartender says it's only for paying customers.

The guy therefore orders a pint and finishes it off. He asks the bartender if he can now use the loo, but warns him that he takes salts to help him go.

"That's fine" says the bartender and directs the man to the toilets.

The man goes, does his business and then comes back out looking relieved and thanks the bartender.

The next day the man comes back. "That beer you served me yesterday was so nice I thought i'd pop back in for another"

Bartender says "Hold It! I want a word with you. Yesterday when you came in and used the loo you left a hell of a mess. There was shit everywhere, on the walls, on the ceiling, on the floor, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!"

"Well" says the man "I told you i take salts when I go"

"What kind of salts?" asks the Bartender

Get ready

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"SomerSALTS"

[HYHYBT]

So THAT'S how that happens!

[Caveat Emptor]

In a similar vein...

An already drunk man stumbles into a bar.

"Gotta go bathroom." he says to the bartender.

"Alright, alright, through there, just don't make a mess!"

A few minutes later there's a scream from the bathroom, followed by another, then another.

"What the $%@ are you doing in there?" screams the bartender.

The man yells "Every time I go to flush, something crushes my nuts!!"

Opening the door and looking in, the bartender yells "You stupid #%@$! You're sitting on my mop bucket!!"