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  • "I'm the girl that knows the monsters"

    “I’m the girl that knows the monsters”

    This was said to me this morning as I was walking to my bus stop on my way to work this morning.

    She is a homeless woman I’ve seen around a few times before. Very dirty, no shoes, just torn socks.

    What few teeth she has are rotting severely. She looks around 70 years old but is probably closer to 40.

    Living on the street, in the sun, rain and cold all year round does that to you.

    She asked me for a cigarette. This is nothing new. I’m asked for one pretty much every day and always give it.

    As I handed her the cigarette, she started speaking about how she had seen the slaughter of the untouchables.

    How she had seen the horrors and that they know what she knows.

    Then she mentioned monsters. I couldn’t understand what she meant.

    There are all kinds of monsters in the world.

    Some we invite into our lives for brief periods.

    Some rush at us, do what damage they can and then leave.

    Some stay with us all of our lives, periodically reminding us they are there.

    You don’t always see them but you can feel them there.

    They come in the forms of mental illness, drugs and some are people.

    I had to leave and catch my bus, She nodded understanding and turned to walk away.

    As she turned, she said “I’m the girl that knows the monsters”. It gave me chills when she said it.

    Maybe it was the quietness of her voice.

    And as she walked away, I found myself looking at her, squinting my eyes to see if I could see her monsters.

    Of course I couldn’t. But I could feel them.
    "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

  • #2
    Bast firmly believes that everybody who's addicted to drugs (or gambling, or whatever) is self-medicating against something.

    Sometimes it's a mental illness monster.

    Sometimes it's a circumstances monster (eg extreme poverty with no visible way out).

    Sometimes it's a people-monster.

    Sometimes it's an intolerable memory/past trauma.


    We all have monsters. Some are more visible than others.

    (BTW: Did I mention that I've started having visual hallucinations?)
    Seshat's self-help guide:
    1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
    2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
    3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
    4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

    "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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    • #3
      In case anyone's worried; I got my eyes tested yesterday. Tentative diagnosis on the hallucinations: migraine.

      The optometrist assures me that my eyes are fine* and he wants my GP (general practitioner - family doctor) to be the one to make a firm diagnosis. But they follow the pattern of migraine hallucinations, not anything eyesight-harmful.

      * I now need reading glasses, standard past-40 lens stiffening. I also have had a cornea problem called keratoconis since my mid-20s. But my prescription for the keratoconis is unchanged, and we've chosen some lovely and boldly-coloured red frames for the reading glasses.
      Seshat's self-help guide:
      1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
      2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
      3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
      4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

      "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

      Comment


      • #4
        Good news Seshat! Glad they found the cause!
        "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth Sheldonrs View Post
          “I’m the girl that knows the monsters”
          Wow. Great story! I joined the board today just so I could praise your post.

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth David Strykker View Post
            Wow. Great story! I joined the board today just so I could praise your post.
            Thank you. :-)
            "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

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