Weirdest thing to happen in your DnD game?

[LadyofArc]

So for those of you who do play Dungeons & Dragons, what's the oddest thing that has come out of your group's adventures? I currently play with my SO and a bunch of his workmates at his work (they do allow this thankfully, provided we clean up after ourselves).

Our current campaign involves us adventuring towards a castle to stop a man from creating what is essentially a zombie apocalypse. So far, we have had:

- The other female in the group's character (an Aasimar warlock) hitting on the town priestess. This started as a joke by me, but she took it and ran with it. She then got me back by trying to set me up with the town guard (my character's meant to be a emissary of sorts trying to spread the word of my deity from a faraway land, but as a paladin, so by doing good deeds rather than preaching.) and succeeding. (The flaw my character has is that they essentially get distracted by the sexy)

- My partner's character was a barbarian with a death wish. During an encounter with a swarm of bats, the DM rolled for the bats (and failed), then said that they were bouncing off of his armour. Unfortunately, the barbarian wasn't wearing any. So the DM naturally changes it to "Bounce off of his magnificent abs." We also made some dramatic finishes, which ended with us taking the bats as rations for a while

- And speaking of my partner's character, I say "was" as he'd worked out with our DM that he had to die. So the DM's solution was for us to encounter three vampires, one of whom would swoop down and grab the barbarian, take him up into the sky, then drop him for "this [dumps my dice bag] much damage", effectively killing him.

- A few weeks into the campaign, we had three new guys join the group (and they are great). One of them is an arcane trickster rogue. Who seems to have a tendency towards sitting on naked corpses, backflipping EVERYWHERE and then dabbing afterwards. (And no, his name is not Spartacus)

So, what's the weirdest thing that's happened in your Dungeons & Dragons group?

[Ghel]

Right now I'm playing in a 3.5 campaign. Our DM is, well, anal about numbers. To the point that she draws up our character sheets after we tell her what we want to gain for leveling. But some of the players have never played D&D before, so it's cool to have her tell us what our plus is when we roll. She's also cool about working with the strange and funny antics the party gets up to.

Probably the funniest/weirdest thing to happen so far was after our cleric summoned a giant bombardier beetle and its acid spray overlapped with where the wizard's flaming sphere was. Our DM ruled that it exploded like a bomb. None of the PCs were seriously hurt, but several NPCs and the ogres we were fighting turned into slag. Also, the cart with the keg of beer on it (which we were supposed to be protecting, along with the NPCs) exploded and set more people on fire. The cleric started going on about how it was the cleansing fire of Pelor, who has now welcomed all the NPCs into the afterlife. We scraped up the ashes of the NPCs to return to their families, but they were so thoroughly mixed with the ashes of the ogres, we hoped they wouldn't try to resurrect them because they'd likely come back as some weird ogre/gnome hybrid.

Then there's the rogue and his cat collection. Early in the campaign, he got jealous of the wizard and his cat familiar. He decided he wanted cats, too. So he started adopting strays. He brought them all back to the house that's our headquarters. As mentioned, the DM is kind of anal about numbers, so she rolled up stats for each of the cats - about 8 of them now. She rolled randomly for the cats' genders, too. One of the ones that the rogue gave a masculine name is now pregnant with kittens. They all have noble names, too. I think the one that's pregnant is Prince Fuzzy Mittens. Another is Duchess Meow Meow.

[csquared]

Started playing D&D 44 years ago. One of my favorite tails is also what drove me away from D&D. Too many newer players felt that I did not follow the rules when they failed to understand the rules.

I am the DM. I am God. I MAKE the rules. The manuals are a guideline. I loved going though other dungeons. To me, D&D was ruined when they started putting out modules and pre-made scenarios.

So... I had someone want to join our group and go through my dungeon. And he wanted to bring his 34th level something or other. I honestly have forgotten what it was. Fighter of some sort. i tried to explain that his 34th level whatever did not exist in my world. He insisted, My other friends just smiled and said "Let him. They knew what was going to happen. They have been through my rookie routine.

They enter the dungeon and are going down a long corridor. Up ahead they see a light. They opt to continue forward. As the get closer, they see that there is no source for the light. They area "glows" . They see a small man in a long white coat with a pushcart trash can and a broom. Think this. He is sweeping up a pile of sand, gold and gems. In the trash can are several very nice swords, some armor, along with lots more sand, gold and gems.

Our newbie is eager to show off and nab this easy loot. He draws his +20 sword (or some ridicules thing like that) and charges this little man. As the newbie starts his swing, the janitor holds up his hand and the newbie freezes in place. The janitor turns to him and pulls a little bit of a fine dust out of a pouch and says, "That is not nice. You wouldn't want me to sprinkle you with this dust now would you?" The janitor then turns and finishes cleaning the area. He pushes his cart to the side and steps aside himself. With that, the newbie unfreezes and continues his swing into nothing, playing himself across the floor. Roll for damages. Darn. Minor scraps and bruises.

Anyone with an ounce of sense would have left it at that. Not this guy. He tries again. The janitor pulls out the dust and sprinkles newbie. Newbie turns into a pile of sand. His armor and sword fall to the ground. The janitor "cleans up". He turns to the rest of the group and says "Happy adventures", take two steps and the light goes out.

Of course, newbie is fit to be tied. "You can't do that! It's against the rules!" He ultimately demands a survival toss. Sure. Hands him a 12 sided dice. Roll six 12s in a row.

As you might guess, he never wanted to play in our group anymore.

TLDR; I killed off newbies high level character in very bazar manor.

[Nunavut Pants]

Some stuff happened to people I know.

One was the original incident with the Dreaded Gazebo. (If you've ever seen the original Munchkin deck, this incident is where the Gazebo card comes from.)

The party went somewhere or another, and the DM told them they saw a gazebo. One of the party members apparently has no idea what it is. So he charges it to fight it. Roll initiative, roll to hit, all of that jazz. Everyone else just stood off to the side and laughed... (Which is why you must face the gazebo alone!)


I was once playing a Gnome Illusi -- I mean, fighter! Yeah, fighter, that's what I really mean! (Had the "Phantom Armor" spell and managed to find/make a "Phantom Weapon" spell that was also marginally useful. Had very low Str, high Dex and Int...) I insisted on getting into combat when I could. Fairly early on, I tried to charge a dragon while another party member was fighting it. The DM judged that I was close enough to potentially be in danger and potentially contribute to the battle, so I was awarded a share of the XP when the other guy defeated it. Which engendered the concept of "XP sucking range". That was most of how I leveled up, getting into XP sucking range...

In another case, I was playing a classic Paladin--except one who was very vain. He loved, for instance, to admire his own reflection in a mirror. (Complete with shiny glint off of his smile, I'm sure!) Found a magic sword in a fountain by using it as a mirror to admire himself...

[Seanette]

I was once in a small group (two players, each running two characters) that was up against a vampire. My cleric had a weapon that produced sunlight, so while she was using that, the magic-user (the other player) turned himself into a water elemental and started raining on the vampire. My cleric took a moment to cast Bless Water on said elemental.

[lordlundar]

Hmm, well there was the time we took out a vampire with a pine cone grenade, The time we got the town mayor annoyed with us over a dragon threat, the time I killed the captain of the guard by accident, the time we nuked a bandit hideout by accident... Yeah, let's run through the list.

The Vampire, I had just joined in the group and was playing as a vampire hunter. we got into his tomb before he woke and were discussing how to deal with him. It was at that point that he woke up and lunged at us. DM rolls attack and rolls, of all things a 1. Vampire tripped, fell on a pinecone under his chest and planted his fangs in the floor. Myself and another half mage used our cantrip ability to transfer all heat in a room to the pinecone, causing it to erupt, impaling the vampire. For good measure I took out an arrow I had, knocked the tip off and impaled the crimson mist.

The dragon threat. Lead up to this, the town had been harrassed by dragons before and this group had scammed the mayor for resources before by showing a "dragon claw", ie a bloody bag with daggers in it. I realized that this scam wasn't going to work twice and something new was needed. Fortunately the town had a warehouse that was used to store dangerous materials. One burning arrow later and the "had" portion came true. Cue us "explaining that the dragon's mate was pissed and the mayor, more exasperated than stunned just told us to get our gear and go.

The captain. A bit of info. This was in 2nd edition and we were using the skills and powers additional rules. Okay, so we're trying to sneak into the captain's house to get some dirt on him (he was corrupt) and there was a guard standing watch. I throw my dagger to a bush to distract him. I roll, critical miss. Location, the guard. Location on the guard, leg. Roll impact, critical hit. Roll on Critical hit damage table (from the S&P ruleset). Result; artery severed, target dead, oops.

The nuke. Again some lead in info: two of our party members were from another world where clerics are good, wizards are evil and magical items are nonexistent. Our world by contrast has is the more traditional sense of magic is neutral, class and alignment are not linked, and magic items are much more prolific. One character was a cleric who was aware of the differences and was adjusting to them. The other character was a paladin who was a bit of a zealot and would fly into a berserker rage whenever wizard magic or magical items were used. So we get to this bandit hideout and after a fair bit of a rough fight beat down the bandits. Time to loot! The bandits were so nice that they even sorted the magical stuff for us. Our paladin picked up a +1 arrow, didn't think anything of it and broke it. Oops. Then dropped it in the magic weapon pile. Big oops. We barely got out before the ensuing magic chain reaction explosion resulted in there being a crater where the hideout used to be.

By the way, this was all in the same campaign. We had some nutty people.

[Seanette]

Can't find it anymore, but I used to be able to find a newsgroup thread about a super-klutz paladin character who managed to decapitate himself.

[Ironclad Alibi]

One was the original incident with the Dreaded Gazebo. (If you've ever seen the original Munchkin deck, this incident is where the Gazebo card comes from.)

For those who want the original tale:

The Tale of Eric and the Dread Gazebo

I bookmarked it many ages ago.

[Mental_Mouse]

As I've said elsewhere the tale of the Dread Gazebo was repeated in any number of basements and dining rooms. The Basic/Expert set where it was featured had opened up a whole new audience for the game, including 10- and 12-year-olds with limited life experience.

[EricKei]

Not just D&D...


Mafia siege - I borrowed the Gazebo concept for the first game I ran for a D&D (et al) group we formed locally. Low-level players were dealing with the era's equivalent of the mafia, and saw a gazebo out in the middle of the mafia compound, surrounded by mist. Unfortunately, none of them took the bait. They instead stormed the mafia compound and ended up being stymied by a seemingly-invincible dude in a natty suit (think Walter from Hellsing Ultimate). All he really had for defense was a Minor Globe of Invulnerability (negates all LV3 and under incoming spells -- which includes Fireball, btw), and this was a magic-heavy party. Very frustrating fight for the players, but they got him eventually.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Dragonborn - 5e game basically set in the TMNT sewers from issue 1 of the comic, complete with the era's version of Mousers.

Robotech game - Someone rolled a crit fail with a missile launcher fired while running. Scatter dice said the projectile slammed into an ammo dump...where 2 of his allies had been scavenging for goodies. BOOM.

During our Halloween special-type game ...which meant, in this case, 1 DM and nearly twenty players...I and the other guys who run a Rifts game on the side decided to come as a clan clan of kobolds. Mine was the leader, of course, as he was one inch taller than the rest, and because he had named himself "Kobold, Kobold Among Kobolds" -- we ran with it, and a legend was born. Made for faster fights, too, as we discussed what to do while other players fought, and simply acted as a group.



And, finally-- Why, the naked game, of course. The characters, not the players (damn). Nekkid and unarmed in the bottom of an ouiblette. They managed to get out with only one death -- the guy who tried to climb a greased rope above a spike pit. I even gave him his life/death saves...he had 2 successes and 2 failures, and then the third failure came up.

[AccountingDrone]

Guy at the game store we used to game at in NOrfolk VA was developing a game based on battle mechs - I think he was calling it warbots and death machines or something like that. THe store was mainly populated by military guys, little girly me was one of like 3 or 4 females that went there for teh gaming. Got drawn into the game, because I was smack talking the 'great' team [an army guy and 2 guys that were teachers at the wa r college] so my ex husband, a friend and I formed a team and challenged the 'good' team. Time comes to actually play, we set up the sand table with our home camp marked out by lines surrounding the space, and we borrowed enough figures from the store and people around us and got the scenario [space craft did a dirt dart in the center of hte table, big crater, and lots of crates f supplies that both of us needed. Race to the center and beat the other team to win the supplies]

Other team, sank it's startup funds into 5 large stompy warbots and the techs back in camp t maintain them. I sunk all our funds into 3 units of jump armored scouts, 3 armored personnel carriers and 25 katyushas [stalins organs, platform for shooting off missiles] aaaaand GO! as they stomped around trying to get into range of any of us, my scouts were deployed, finding all the warbots and their camp. Next set pf moves, setting up the katyushas, third set, plastering their camp til flat with missiles while teh jump scouts plinked away at the arbots annoying them. Last moves, drpping missiles on the warbots and wandering to the center and claiming the supplies.

Oddly enough, they stopped figuring a little girl doesn't know anything about war - they never chatted with me and discovered that as a little girl, my dad would take me to sand table napoleanics games and I learned strategy and tactics from a guy who survived ww2 as unhorsed combat armored infantry, got a silver star for removing explosives under fire at the Leudendorf Bridge and led combat charges in Korea ...

[drunkenwildmage]

2nd Ed: Our Dwarf Warrior who cleaved one the group's elves in half.

The dwarf got hit with a blind spell. Failed his Blind fighting roll. Still did an attack, and rolled a 1. Since the group was in close quarters, the DM had him drop a die to see which party member he ended up swinging his axe at. It was the elf. (I want to say ranger, but could've been rouge) The DM then had him make a hit roll to see if he hit the elf. Natural 20. Then, even before doubling it, the Dwarf manage to max out his damage rolls. Ended up doing around twice the number of hit point in damage then what the elf had. The cleric looks at the remains of the elf and responses 'umm..I don't think I can heal that'.

Tales from the floating Vagabond: (Well that game is just full of weirdness anyways)

Killing a Vampire by throwing Holy Kiwi fruit at it.

Earlier on in the Adventure, the group comes across the site of a cult that worships Kiwi fruit. The Terrorist Teddy Bear picks up a bunch of the holy Kiwi fruit and sticks them his trench coat. In the Boss fight for this adventure, they come across the Vampire boss, and start fighting him. They were having a rough go at it, until the bear realizes he still has the holy kiwis, and start chucking them at the Vampire, killing it off in fairly short order.

[Sarlon]

oh where to start....

(all 3.5 games)

- the succubus incident: Group of level 8 or 9, walking single file down this hallway. in order....Ranger, Rogue (me), wizard, cleric, fighter, bard. Most of us walk past this curtained off area but the bard pokes his head behind the curtain.....fails his will save and disappears behind. Fighter notices bard missing, calls a halt and goes to the curtain to see whats going on....fails his will save. Wizard or Cleric casts protection from evil on me and i slip behind the curtain, and see 3 succubi in the room, the bard already in bed with in, and the fighter half out of his armor ready to go in with one of the others. We give up the bard for lost (we didn't like the player), and i roll a grapple check on the fighter....(setting the scene here....5'4' 120 half elf, 6'4' 350 half orc), DM allows because what are the odds I'd win.

Beat his roll by 1 point......and lets just say "monkey grabs the peach".

- the time the barbarian blew up a village and they ended up on the other side of the world: Creeping into a village full of slavers, still in the act of tying up new recruits and watching them being dragged over to a glowing magic staff. doesn't take long to figure out that a lance of light comes out of the staff, envelopes a group of 10, and they vanish. This is a VERY obvious magic item, no checks needed.

They fight the raiders and the barbarian decides to smash the staff thinking its killing people. THE ENTIRE GROUP says bad idea, don't do it....he ignores their advice, rolls a crit on it and everything goes BOOM! PLayers ask if we're all dead, I say no but we're ending the session for the night. make a careful list of what your character was carrying when they went into battle, keeping in mind that they'd had goblins paid to carry all their stuff. The next session had them on an island on the other side of the world with barely anything, no money, and no idea how to get back, or where SPECIFICALLY where they were.

- the time the monk tackled a dragon out of the sky:12th level party trying to figure out how to climb this massive (150+ feet tall) cliff face with a dragon sitting up halfway and looking at them for lunch. Monk had made it most of the way there when the dragon took a bigger interest in this morsel climbing his way up. Monk Dimension Door onto the back of the dragon and rolled stunning fist. it was a NEAR impossible roll, but the DM finally rolled a crit fail on the check....and the monk rode the dragon down 150 feet to the ground cowboy style!

-Unique uses for common spells (part 1): Cleric....faced with a caster in the middle of a spell, cast "Create water" just above their head...REALLY hard to speak a spell when 8 GALLONS of water suddenly gushes over your head, let alone keep concentrating.

-Unique uses for common spells (part 2): We're escaping prison, and duck into a room to avoid a patrol. Sadly we're spotted, and we barricade the door behind us to buy some time....but the guards start battering it down. we wait for a few bumps then caster casts mending on the door, restoring it to its basic function. Did this twice more before we finally let them bust it down and went to work on them.

Theres probably some more but I'm tired and can't remember them...

[Kristev]

Once, I was playing a cleric fighting a vampire. She dropped my cleric into the sewer water, then came in after me hoping to finish me. But once the vampire got into the water, my cleric cast Bless Water to turn the sewer water into holy water, then used rope to keep the vampire in the water.

Eventually, the vampire got out, but stripped of roughly half their hit points, making it easier for the other characters to fight her.

[Mental_Mouse]

A lot of low-level D&D spells had serious mischief potential. One article of Dragon introduced "cantrips", "0-level spells" which were all about that sort of thing. When I designed my own mana system (to counter the "one-shot magic-user" problem), I had 1st-level spells cost 4 mana and cantrips cost 1. (Mana would regenerate over time, but swapping out spells was roughly as per the original rules.)

I don't think I'd have allowed a cleric to bless sewage, but I was a fairly strict DM -- didn't learn flexibility until later.