The Bastard Switch

[malmalthekiller]

Might I suggest a squirt gun instead? Far more entertaining, especially from a moving vehicle, harder to trace the source, and far less likely to get you into any kind of trouble, physical, legal, or otherwise.

Plus, as I said, it's far more entertaining.

I might invest in one. Maybe one of those humorous squirting flowers, so people don't know what hit them.

[lordlundar]

Yet enough people still give them money for them to picket $80-90 a day. Tax free.

Pfft! Lightweights. A pro can pull off $500+ a day.

[Gravekeeper]

Pfft! Lightweights. A pro can pull off $500+ a day.

Perhaps I should be more specific. You can only make $80-90 if you spit.

Yes, I am a terrible person.

[Jester]

Maybe one of those humorous squirting flowers, so people don't know what hit them.

The problem with the squirting flowers is that they have very little range and very little ammunition capacity.

Keep in mind, from a moving vehicle, the last people expect is a stream of water, so trust me when I say they will not know what hit them.

Optimal firing position for the driver is to be steering with your left hand and have your right hand holding the weapon, below the windowsill, pointing out the driver's side window. Only the tip should be visible....not that anyone would notice this. Upon target acquisition, it is a simple matter to pull the trigger and soak the target...by the time the water actually hits them, not only will you be well down the street, but they will have little to no idea it was you.

The problem with driver-side firing is, of course, you are shooting across the street. Limits you due to range and the size of the street. If you have a passenger or are the passenger with the wet sniper weapon, reverse hand positions and fire upon those upon the sidewalk as you pass. Another advantage to the "shotgun" seat doing the firing is you are not limited to waterguns that can be operated with only one hand, or to a single burst from a pump-primed weapon. Passengers have more options open to them as they are not actually piloting a several-ton pile of steel and rubber at high speeds.

Though of course, if you are alone in your car, you can still fire through the passenger window, but aim and camouflage will be a bit more difficult.

NOT that I have ever tried any of this, mind you.

[bloodrose]

Perhaps I should be more specific. You can only make $80-90 if you spit.

Yes, I am a terrible person.

*sigh* Should I be embarrassed or proud that it took me many readings of that sentence to get it?

[El Pollo Guerrera]

As much fun as it would be... driving through Vancouver with a water gun right now would probably be a bad idea. There's been a bit of a 'gang war' going on, and many drug dealers and family members have been shot and killed (along with a few innocent bystanders). A few of these 'hits' have happened in broad daylight, in crowded parking lots of shopping malls... And, of course, the police are out in force to 'keep the peace'.

I wouldn't want the words carved onto my tombstone to be "Brought a Super-Soaker to a gun fight..."

[Amethyst Hunter]

With panhandlers, I've found (not that I've run into very many, mind you) that the offer of food instead of money can reveal their personality. I once saw an older guy (probably 50s - 60s) sitting by the side of a busy highway with one of those "will work for $" signs. Since I was feeling charitable that day, I went back to the nearby shopping complex and bought a sandwich and some chips. I also picked up some of the brochures for jobs and such that they sometimes have in grocery stores. I took this bag of goodies back to the guy and he thanked me pleasantly (I wasn't the only one who'd been inspired; a nearby McDonald's worker must've had the same thought because he came running over shortly before I pulled up with a box of fries for the guy).

Prior to this incident I had read somewhere years ago an interview with actor Tim Robbins (Shawshank Redemption - great movie) where he discussed how he taught his kids charity with responsibility, and he said something about how if you gave money to a panhandler, you wouldn't know if they were going to use the money for genuine purpose, or blow it on drugs/whatnot, so the best course of action, if one was inclined to give anything, was to give the person some food instead. The theory is that the fakers will be the ones to complain about not getting money, whereas the real hard-luck cases will be thankful to get just about anything.

One's mileage may vary, of course.

[crazylegs]

I wouldn't want the words carved onto my tombstone to be "Brought a Super-Soaker to a gun fight..."

I would, it would be feckin' hilarious!

[AdminAssistant]

This is a huuuuge problem in KC. I had people come up to my house, stop me on random neighborhood streets, and they stand at busy intersections and stare at you in your car. I never gave them anything. They did too many news stories of finding out who these people were to discover that they had cars, houses, families, etc.

[Blade_Raver]

I had someone ask me for change once..

I eyed the person up and down a few times over.. saying "Hmm..."

After the person showed enough impatience, I said "Nope. You don't look dirty enough to convince me. Better luck next time!"